Author Archives: mychangeforaten

About mychangeforaten

I AM.... I am... a poet, deep and philosophical; I am...a dancer, lyrical and graceful; I am...an artist, creative and colorful; I am... a yogi, mindful and peaceful; I am... a woman, sensual and feminine; I am... A humanitarian,humble and giving; I am... A survivor,wounded and strong; I am human... I am me. I moved to the city of angels from my beloved big apple with my husband and two beloved cats and now fate has placed me in San Francisco. I am in love with life and all creatures of the universe. Namaste' love and light.

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

CHEAT DAYS

Happy Wednesday to all. I had two cheat days this week, Easter’s vegan meal and leftovers the day after. I did not overeat at all, but the high fat vegan food just made me feel awful. It was high sodium and it caused me high anxiety. This made me realize it’s too soon in my new weight loss journey for cheat days. 

Do cheat days help or harm? Do they throw off your mindset of wellness and health? For me, at this moment they do. I feel cheat days in the beginning of my weight loss journey just put me back where I started. I have not yet earned my wellness, fitness and health. Down the line when I’ve mastered my plans I can have the occasional splurge , but for now it’s a big no. I don’t get cravings when I’m consistent. Health is just too important to me. 

Are cheat days a yay or nay for you? How far along are you in your weight loss/fitness/ wellness journey? For now I staying the course with my whole foods plant based lifestyle. Vegan junk food will always be there for when I need it. 

Current weight week of 4/22/2019 is 180lbs, after a 9 lbs loss since January 2019

Love and Light

Rose 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

It’s weigh in Monday, and I finally reached 180 lbs. I lost 3 lbs last week, my first week working out with my trainer Bethany.  In January I began charting my weight on my Loseitapp but I didn’t start blogging regularly again until the last few weeks. According to my app I’m down 9 lbs since January. I am very excited to see the scale move, but this is just practice. Now it’s time to really focus on my fitness as much as my food and to keep up the consistency. I’ve been a bit of a yo yo dieter, and blogger since I gained half my weight back. I’ve since retired my yo yo status. 

I took some before photos. I really took raw before photos, something I never did on this blog even when I began in 2013 when I weighed over 200 lbs. I decided to save the photos when I begin to feel fit again. I just do not have the heart to  share the photos at the moment. I’m working on regaining my confidence as well as my fitness, as I begin this new weight loss and wellness journey. To me the photos are an embarrassment, but necessary evil  to chart my progress. They are my secret motivation. 

Some of my regular weekday meals are so easy. I rely on these staples to get me through my week. Homemade black bean burgers on whole grain buns with vegetables.  Lentil soup two ways, Italian Style and chili style. Split Pea Soup. Main Dish salads with garbanzo beans and a ton of veggies. Garbanzo Bean salad sandwiches on toasted Ezekiel bread. I strive for convenience when I do my vegan meal prep.

I know I’m getting proper nutrition because I follow Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I have one vegan cheat meal once a week, within reason. On this day I experiment with vegan comfort food recipes. We do not eat out often because Houston doesn’t have many vegan options. I’m committed to the second phase of my weight loss and wellness journey and to regaining my happiness in mind and body. My body is my temple and my life is a gift, I’m repackaging it with a shiny new outlook. 

Love and Light to all. 

Rose 

 

 

 

INTRODUCING BETHANY

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Quote unknown

I’m coming out of a low place, similar to when I began this blog. I gained half my weight back and lost the strength and fitness I worked so hard to attain. I held on to it for a while after my move from Los Angeles to Houston, but I was sidetracked when I began waitressing again. I work a lot of hours, and I let my fitness slide. 

Ok, that’s enough of what happened to me then, I’m done looking back. I’m looking forward and towards; fitness, health, strength and flexibility. I’m healing in mind and body and I’m going to lose weight again in the process. My plan is to be the best version of me, a version I believe is somewhere deep inside ready to come out. I’m going to get strong so I can do Melissa Bender Fitness workouts again, lately I can’t keep up. I need one on one guidance to get me there again.

Sometimes you need something and there it is. It’s like it magically appears. My friends and I call it kismet. That’s what happened when I met Bethany a year ago, but it wasn’t until recently that she teamed up with me. She’s incredibly giving, knowledgeable, and high energy. Just what I need to start over. I couldn’t be more grateful to her for helping  me in the second phase of this journey. I really needed someone one on one and so excited to kill it with her teaching me. You can find her on Instagram @bethanator 

Yesterday was our first workout and it was basically a test to see where I am. I will post the breakdown of my workouts when they start to take shape. She really knows her stuff and correct form is so important to her. She is very careful and doesn’t wish to injure her clients, which is perfect for me. We are going to work on weights, flexibility and overall fitness. We are planning on doing some races together. I’m writing my fitness goals down, and I’m sure she will achieve all of her goals. She’s just what the doctor ordered. I couldn’t be more motivated.

Ok, I’m out!! Work calls but work will no longer be my excuse!! I’m in it to win it. So much Gratitude to Bethany, and all the kind people who taught me so much through this journey of mine, then and now. 

No man’s a failure who has friend. 

Frank Capra It’s a wonderful life

Love and Light

Rose


My Fabulous Trainer Bethany

 

WEIGH IN DAY

Happy Monday to all. It is spring and Easter week. A time for rebirth. I weighed in this morning and I stayed at 183 lbs, which is fine for me. My food choices have been erratic and I ate vegan processed foods and skipped meals. I didn’t plan and I realized how important it is to plan going forward. 

I am beginning to do some meal prepping and I started bringing food with me to work, no more eating at midnight after work. I’m really planning on focusing on my nutrition and getting in most of Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I’m also keeping a food journal, I started yesterday. 

I’m starting completely over with my weight loss and my fitness journey. My past successes and past failures mean nothing to me now. I’m looking forward and my number one goal is health and fitness. I admit to feeling terrible about gaining half my weight back. My ego is bruised, I feel the f word and it doesn’t feel good. So today I begin with a healthy narrative,  only positive vocabulary. No fat shaming myself, no more feeling like a big fat ugly failure.

I’m focusing on the beauty that is life and the wonderful opportunities I have because I am alive. I’m moving forward with kindness for myself. I live with a kindness motto but I’ve been less than kind to me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to really try to be on this blog daily and share everything. 

This was yesterday’s food journal. My work days will look like this, for me it’s easier to keep it simple on my work days. Cooking and experimenting with recipes will be saved for days off. I plan to have one vegan cheat day ( within reason) once a week. This week my cheat day is Easter Sunday.  The food journal below was around 1,500 calories and over 60 grams of protein. I’m starting this all again, same blog since 2013 but with a vegan brand new vibe. Up next, my new fitness journey. Treat yourself kind as you begin to be healthy.

Namaste, love and Light

Breakfast:

Vegan protein bar, coffee with soy creamer and 1 tablespoon Black strap molasses.

Lunch

Smoothie with 8 oz. organic soy milk, 2 cups spinach, 1/2 cup berries, half banana, 1 tbs flax seed, 2 tbs peanut butter, 1/2 cup carrots.  Half cup of unsalted garbanzo beans.

Dinner

2 cups romaine, 1/2 cup tomatoes, 1/4 cup red onions, 1 baked potato, 1/2 cup garbanzo beans. Topped with red wine vinegar and 1 tablespoon of champagne vinaigrette.

Snack

1 slice low sodium Ezekiel bread with 1 tablespoon Polaner all fruit strawberry spread.

Lots of water and fresh lemon.

 

Vegan Staples

Let food me thy medicine and medicine be thy food.

Hippocrates

Happy Wednesday to all. I’m  in the process of really reinventing this blog, posting more as  I begin my round two of fitness and weight loss. A lot of people are asking me about what to buy at the grocery store, so I decided to post a very basic whole foods plant-based grocery list. This does not include my favorite vegan fun foods, those convenience foods you reach for when you want vegan cheese or vegan veggie burgers. Those are my occasional treats, not my everyday staples.

This is a healthy list, the foods I eat daily. It’s just a basic list, really you can have as much fresh fruits and vegetables as you like.  Recipes will follow. I recommend watching the film Forks over Knives and What the Health. Let’s get started. This list is also budget friendly. 

This is my personal list but I’m also attaching a video and post from Dr Greger. The vegan health doctors all agree to avoid nuts and avocado if you have heart disease. I eat  minimum oils, salt, and sugar. I try to do Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I have the app and my goal is to do the Dozen Dozen every day.

 

I hope this helps. I started my day today with oatmeal in organic soy milk with berries, chia seeds with coffee and soy creamer. I will make a large smoothie before work with Trader Joe’s pea protein powder, organic soy milk, spinach, kale, banana and flax seeds. For dinner I will have lentil and vegetable soup with toasted Ezekiel bread and romaine salad with vegetables. I follow a lady who has a website with great YouTube videos. I will post her link when I’m not rushed for time. I wish you joy on the road to health and happiness. Links and list below. 

Love and light

Rose

 

https://nutritionstudies.org/plant-based-grocery-shopping-guide/

 

Produce Staples: frozen berries, fresh berries, bananas, oranges, apples, large bag of spinach, large bag of kale, fresh or frozen broccoli,fresh or frozen cauliflower, bag mini peppers, green peppers, celery, carrots, yellow onions, red onions, garlic, fresh or frozen green beans, zucchini, eggplant, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, frozen peas, cubed butternut squash, potatoes, lemons.

Pantry Staples: Quick Oats, Ezekiel Bread, bag lentils, bag split peas, cans low sodium garbanzo beans, cans low sodium black beans, cans low sodium kidney beans, cans low sodium pinto beans, cans low sodium great northern beans, brown rice, wild rice, quinoa, flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, date sugar, tofu, unsweetened organic soy milk or almond milk, unsweetened silk soy creamer, unsalted peanut butter or almond butter, unsalted cans diced tomatoes, unsalted cans crushed tomatoes, hummus, low sodium vegetable stock.

Some Trader Joe’s staples: steamed lentils, unsweetened pea protein powder, sprouted whole grain bagels, low sodium vegetable stock, hummus, dates, soy creamer, frozen shredded potatoes, tofu, maple syrup, Black strap molasses, balsamic vinegar, basil, oregano, cumin, chili spice, turmeric, cinnamon, paprika.

 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose

 

National Scribble Day

It’s National Scribble Day, so this blog post is going to be the blog equivalent of scribbling. My thoughts are all scrambled, but not in a bad way. My job, ( waitressing) sometimes exhausts me and I admit to procrastinating in the things that are important to me. There is a new documentary on Netflix I really want to watch called Heal. It’s all about healing from a mind body perspective. This gets me thinking. Is my exhaustion real? Can I do things that make me feel more energized and ready to take on tasks that are important to me? I think the answer is a big yes. No excuses.

Posting more than once a week is definitely one of my many goals. I’m going to really work on my state of mind like I’m working on my nutrition and fitness. Yes, I work a very physical job, but I believe I can make it softer on my body with positivity and possibly some tools to help me along the way. Good shoe inserts, better pillows for sleep, a foot bath at the end of the night. No longer using my job as an excuse is a biggie. A massage now and then wouldn’t hurt. 

I did say it National Scribble Day, and I’m truly all over the place. I’m so excited for this brand new chapter in my blog/journey. I’m going to be doing a wonderful interview series with real influencers in fitness who focus on achieving goals and teaching others through a positive mindset. These are the women I look to for inspiration. Just in time since I have six months until I take my exam for The American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. Time to get fit again, study and get things done.

I didn’t weigh in today, I gave my mind a break. A budget friendly vegan grocery haul is needed, as I’m trying to get my hubby James to eat clean. He claims he cannot do it until I set him up. We’ve  been working on a positive mindset and it’s totally working. You are what you believe, you achieve only when you believe. We believe, we believe. 

Happy National Scribble Day. Go out and Scribble the vision board if your dreams. I know I am. I’m following a well lit path. 

love and light 

Rose

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy St Patty’s Day. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday. This weekend I splurged a little on a veggie burger, tater tots, and Nada Moo Chocolate Chip Mint. My hubby made me a splurge meal, and the vegan ice cream was my version of a vegan shamrock shake. 

i rarely eat salt, and I try to not eat vegan processed foods on a regular basis. I weighed in this morning up a pound. I understand it’s water weight and I’m ok with it. I don’t plan to eat salty foods on a regular basis. I’m trying to eat mostly Whole Foods, plant based most of my days. I’m also trying to find balance with food. My aim is good nutrition, but I don’t want to become obsessive. I want my focus to be on fitness and health. I also occasionally think it’s ok to live a little. 

This week my plan is to focus on Whole Foods, with just one treat. My treat will be a small pastry or item from a new vegan bakery I’m hoping to try. I will let you know if I do. A vegan bakery and cafe opening up where I live in The Woodlands TX is a rare occurrence. I’m so excited to go there. 

I plan to eat to my standards, my vegan stance is a personal moral decision. There is no cheating, it’s a lifestyle not a diet. My weight loss/health Whole Foods plant based journey is a process, one where I may splurge from time to time. There’s a difference with the two, but I’m trying to balance it all. After all I’m human. 

Weigh in today up 1lb 183

Short term goal is 159 ( my weight before I moved from Los Angeles to Texas in May 2017) 

Next stop beginning my fitness journey all over again. Stay tuned. 

Love and light and Irish Blessings 

Rose 

 

 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN

I had a little bug again, it’s been so cold here and everyone around me has been sick. It was just a quick cold and I’m back feeling  like brand new. 

Things are really starting to look brighter here, and I’m very inspired and motivated. I know I said I would only weigh myself once a month, but I lied. I am currently 182 lbs. I was 190 around the holidays. I am so excited to see the scale dropping again. I’m really trying to work on my nutrition and portion control. The Loseitapp keeps me in check. I keep a food journal daily, it helps me tremendously. I’m 24 lbs away from my lowest weight I reached on this blog, before the loss of my Mom and our move to Houston. I’m finding my way back to myself now, finding my way back to true happiness and all of my plans and goals. 

The one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is no matter how motivated I am, I am not perfect. I really believe in eating a Whole Foods, plant based way of living. Sometimes, I may splurge though. Cravings happen. The one thing I won’t do, is cheat on my vegan lifestyle. This is something that has nothing to do with diet, it’s my moral compass and I strive to follow what’s in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I strive to be my authentic self. So when I speak of occasionally splurging, I am referencing vegan fun foods that I choose to only eat occasionally. My daily way of eating is clean wfpb with limited oil, salt and sugar. I have chosen to say limited instead of completely omitting these items because like I stated before, I am far from perfect. 

As I type this latest post I’m watching Madonna. She is probably my earliest inspiration and one of the reasons I chose to dance in college. I’m getting back to my fitness and I’m excited to say I’m taking the American Council of Exercise group exercise exam in September. My plan is to start with dance inspired group classes. I learned a lot after  being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, and I plan to use all my experiences in this blog as well as my classes. I’m lucky to have real women in fitness in my life, inspiring me and making a difference with their fitness careers. I’ve decided I would like to interview these wonderful real women warriors, so stay tuned. It will be a week long series, with one interview each day for seven days. My real life inspirations. I’m nothing without my influences. 

I will leave you with a snippet of an interview I saw with Jennifer Lopez. She said she remembers seeing Madonna running in Central Park. Here was this big star, but she was working hard. So if you have a dream, a goal or a plan; start by working hard. It’s the cement of the building blocks of your goals. Go get it now, but start at the base and build upon it with sweat and dedication. Don’t forget your inspirations and influences, they are there to teach you if you are willing to learn. We all uplift each other. 

If you believe you will achieve, but you have to put the work in. Nothing of worth comes for free. Believe, Achieve, Become the butterfly.