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Monthly Archives: December 2014
IT’S MY BIRTHDAY
I am humbled I get to see another birthday in this beautiful universe we call home, and honored to have so many loves in my life. I was born on the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year with the least amount of light yet I have always felt enveloped my the saffron wonder above. My plan is just to spread the sunshine everywhere I go. Love and light to all.
I am so excited to announce what is to come in 2015, but for now a fun day with my husband James to celebrate my day I was born day.
ANNOUNCING EXCITING NEWS
Happy Sunday. I am in the Holiday spirit, my town home apartment is a work in progress but feeling more like home. I am getting adjusted to my new place of living. San Francisco is an amazing place to be and I choose to embrace it with both arms.
I have exciting news for this project, which I will be announcing a day or two before the clock strikes midnight on New Years Eve
In the meantime I am out for now. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Love and Light to all.
MAKING CHANGES IN 2015
Good Morning, love and light to all. Yesterday’s post was a raw emotional one for me, sharing my new reality as I navigate myself here in the San Francisco Bay Area. I too, have bad days but those bad days for me are a sincere call for change. I do not like my job. The people are lovely and welcoming and it is a means to an end, but it is not for me. Too many long hours and six days has made it difficult for me to transition my healthy lifestyle I built in Los Angeles.
Ok, so I recognize a need for change and I have only been here a month. I will start with January. In the New Year I am going to state I need two days off a week. Then my plan is to either look for a job closer to home to work, or continue on there for a little while. Waiting tables is money for me, not a career.
The full plan is to free up my time a little so I can restart My Changeforaten, my fitness milestones, weight loss and charities, and eventually get certified in fitness as well as yoga. The long term plan is to work in fitness and leave waiting tables for good. I started waiting tables when I went to college for Theater, and it stuck because of the fast cash and flexibility. With time, it has worn on me and the nights and weekends no longer fit with the new life I have built since I started this project in Los Angeles. My plan is to work in fitness, work on this project, and be able to have time for my poetry and artistic endeavors.
That is the plan. In the meantime I will survive this month, this transition and try to find some calm within the chaos. Much love and light to all.
BAY AREA CHALLENGES
It rained again today, and my mood is mimicking this dismal weather of late. I was walking home from my commute and a car splashed me with rain water, as I carried my wet broken bag of groceries home, soaked if not by rain water but by my own falling tears. I did not feel like myself. I admit I miss the eternal sun of Los Angeles, the smiling faces of the people of West Hollywood. Since this move from LA to The San Francisco Bay Area I have not been the same. I am being challenged in a way I have not been challenged since I began this project and blog. My husband James is working a high stress position and with that comes a lot of hours at the office, and I am also forced to work a lot more due to the insane cost of living here. I wait tables for extra money and the place I am working now is a lot more hours, and a lot more physical than I have done in quite some years. I still have not picked the poems for my poetry book, nor have I had my injured toe looked at. I have put myself last once again.
I am having a hard time balancing my blog, my fitness, and my new lifestyle that I have built for myself in the past year and a half. I feel my spirit is slipping away from me, and in it’s place is this shell of a person working for a pine colored piece of paper. My shoulder aches from the heavy cumbersome trays and my heart is following suit. I was on the train today reading Yoga Journal and all I wanted to do is sign up for Yoga Teacher Training. My goal is to eventually get to all of my fitness milestones and work in fitness. I felt incredibly melancholic that I was off to, excuse my slang, “sling hash” to the masses vs. going to work to do something I love. Do not get be wrong, I am blessed to be able to earn the extra money we need to live here but I was worried my project would be sacrificed due to having to find a new routine with a lot more hours and strain on my body. I actually had a meltdown, full blown cry me a river of tears kind of meltdown.
There was a dog loose at the train station, running in the rain away from his owner. I tried to help catch him, as did everyone but he kept running so fast no one could keep up. On my way home he was still running, and animal rescue was after him with a net. Poor pup was terrified and running with no where to go. I often feel like that when I work a ton of hours, like I am running an endless marathon to empty destinations. I pray they catch him and he is now safe, dry and home with his family. Running away isn’t always the best option, for animal or human. I am searching myself for that balance of freedom and routine.
So here I type away, sharing some of my issues as I maneuver my mind and body within this new home of mine. A good friend of mine today gave me wonderful advice. Her name is [email protected]. She told me it is ok to feel bad, just don’t live there. So here I am feeling bad for a moment or two, but I will pick myself off, stretch out the worn muscles and heal my heart and find my way back home.The only home I have known, the home of love, light and endless possibilities