Monthly Archives: March 2017

CORRIDORS OF LIFE

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Good Morning to all, it is Friday and I plan on running today. On my playlist is a song from the group Electric Light Orchestra titled I’m Alive. Each day we awaken is such a gift. If you forget that, maybe you should take a trip to your local emergency room. Nothing puts your life, your personal strife in perspective then spending six hours in the emergency room. I went to the ER this week, and this post is about my experience within those four walls of sickness, healing, anxiety, grief and compassion. My experience left me with gratitude to the Healers, the Doctors, the Nurses, the volunteers, and everyone in health care who chose such a selfless career. My ears could not tune out the agony of pain from the lady across the hall, her young sons by her side trying to console her; the healers trying without success to just make her feel more comfortable. The cries out to her lord were so intense I forgot my own reasons for being there. 

My reason for being there does not matter. My health is fine, my numbers were perfect. I was one of the lucky who got to leave. My husband James and I mused as we were walking through the hallways looking for the exit, that the hallway felt like a maze leading to the escape route back to where life makes sense. Trees and a cool breeze would await us on the other side. Cars, streetlights, people smiling; real life or the reality we all like to live in. What goes on within hospitals is very foreign to many of us, almost like a world within a world. It takes special types of humans to live and work in that center of sickness and healing, and to them I send my gratitude. We walked through the automatic doors hand in hand as if we had a renewed lease on living, never forgetting those who we left behind. Kindness and empathy for others should always be a given.

In yoga we often make an intention in the beginning of the practice, and we may offer up well wishes and healing thoughts for someone we know; for someone who is struggling. I offer this to the lady in the emergency room and her two children who stood lovingly by her side. They do not know me, but I know them. I was just on the other side of the curtain,veiled yet not blind to her suffering. Empathy for the sick and gratitude to the healers.

Namaste’  

Love and Light

Rose

 

 

 

 

NOT A NUMBER

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What is a number? Are we defined by numbers? Think about it, how many times a day does someone ask for your bank number, your credit number, your age, weight and phone number? Do we have names or numbers? I admit sometimes I wonder if people think differently about me after I share with them my age number. I admit to being so excited about my weight loss and the fact I finally weigh in the 150’s. Does that mean I am different than what I once was? There is a fine line between past and present, here and then. At the end I choose to be Rose. Not better but not worse, just the same me who is just so grateful to see yet another day. I’m just getting stronger and healthier. I will never lose sight of any of my dreams and goals just because society has deemed me a number. Names not numbers.

Rose Bruno Bailey

 

Happy Monday to all. Monday is my Saturday, since I am off Mondays and Tuesdays. It is also my weigh in day, and the day I allow a little wiggle room into my healthy eating plan after I jump on the scale. Today my treat of choice is Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake from Canter’s Deli in Los Angeles. They bake everything homemade and the Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake is my favorite. Of course with some delicious cinnamon coffee from Dunkin Donuts my day is dusted with sugar and spice and everything that is nice about the simpler moments of life. A little quiet time to enjoy my treat, and retreat into the cavern of my mind and do a little writing. Even the most extroverted person needs a bit of solace found in silence.

Weigh in day, my updates have been the same for over a month. It seems my body has decided 159 feels good, 159 feels strong. My body is telling me to get off the scale and focus on fitness; work on your running, flexibility and yoga practice and I will get back to you when I am good and ready. That is the message I am getting from my body after one month of stepping on a scale that is not cooperating. I have finally deciphered the translation in the numbers, get off the scale and get moving.  YOU ARE NOT THIS NUMBER. 

Message heard loud and clear. I am not a number. I am still going to pay attention to the scale, because even in maintaining weight loss it is good to know where you stand; just don’t stand on the scale more than once a week. Jump on, mentally record where you are and get moving. This week I am back to focusing on my fitness now that my toe is on the mend. I have also found a way to do my Yoga Sun Salutations without injuring my rotator cuff any further, and I will post about it in a few weeks. 

I love life, and that means loving the body I am in. I am not chasing a new body, but a body that is stronger and healthier to allow me to achieve all of the goals I set for myself and to keep living my best life.

I have come a long way from where I was in 2013 and I am grateful, and I will continue on this journey; losing weight without getting to caught up on the numbers on the scale. The numbers are there to guide me, but not to define me.

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Love and Light and Happy Monday,

Rose 17308904_1436309309747864_4383739146682615547_n

TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY

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Good morning to all. Happy Transformation Tuesday. Yesterday was my weigh in day, and I stayed the same holding steady at 159 lbs. Being at this weight gives me a little anxiety. You may ask why being the lowest weight since I began my weight loss would cause anxiety. This is the reason: I know that weight can go up and down, even during a weight loss journey. I stayed the same for two weeks, and I lost 9 lbs since the middle of January. I know there will be a time when I do everything right and the scale will stay the same or tip back up. I just do not want it to go up when I am in the high 150’s. This may seem silly, but I am so proud to make it to the 150’s, and I want to stay here for some time. Since I broke my plateau in January 2017  I lost 10% of my body weight. That is a win to me.

This photo was me in 2013, well above 210. This is me today at 159 lbs and so proud.17190854_1425955677449894_8538028883844596331_n

This begins a brand new week. I am really loving Weight Watchers Online and having the app on my phone. It is freedom and totally liberating to me. I eat healthy and have done so since 2013, but the little bit of wiggle room I have now makes this feel more like a lifestyle than deprivation. If you remember I went six months without a cheat day, and that drove me crazy, and I didn’t lose a pound in those six months. Balance, I am finding my balance. Yesterday I had a inspirational brunch with a friend Emily at Mel’s Drive in West Hollywood. Eating out doesn’t have to be impossible. We split our entree and made healthy choices. The omelette was egg whites with veggies, cooked dry with no cheese. I had a few of the grilled potatoes. It was all about the coffee and conversation. Balance is key to life, and enjoying yourself makes it worth living.

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Speaking of balance, I am working on my fitness, my yoga and my running. I am also a bit of a klutz and I bruised my toe. I do not know how, but I have injured two toes in the last few years, and bruised one toe I previously injured. I did not trip on my own feet, it was choreography. They say dancers and former dancers tend to be klutzy, and I am here to say that is a true fact for me. Today I feel so much better, so I will get out for a walk and perhaps a run. I do really need proper running shoes. I have learned that shoes make all the difference. I prefer Saucony. Do you have a favorite running shoe?

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I am learning that weight loss and fitness is not linear. It is up and down, and back up again. There will be times when your body tells you slow down, and times when you kick it up a notch. The key is to listen to your body. Don’t let setbacks stop you, take a rest than keep moving forward. It is Transformation Tuesday and for me transformation would be impossible without the day in, day out daily hustle to get to my goals. Have fun while you are out killing it.

Lee Strasberg once said, It’s about the work. 

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INJURY AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES

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Happy Saturday to all. I am about to drink this delicious Cinnamon Dunkin Donuts coffee with my ThinkThin Protein Bar. Yesterday after my run at the park we discovered they are opening a brand new Trader Joe’s right next to the park. That is such a game changer for me. I can go run on the track at the park, and shop for a healthy dinner at my favorite grocery store. I love Trader Joe’s.17105711_10154962767403617_1649281781_n17125017_10154962776603617_308116148_n

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We bought the coffee at Target, and we did a little shopping after my run and walk. I was so hungry so we stopped at Jersey Mikes, and we each had a mini Turkey Sub on whole wheat. It was so delicious and satisfying and 12 points. A little high considering it was a mini but it was really delicious and worth it. I had plenty of points for the day so all was well with the world. 17105402_10154962763878617_739443869_n (1)

We stopped at the famous Formosa and took a few selfies. The Formosa is a Hollywood Landmark and I am so sorry to say has recently closed. The Formosa was known for being a place where the stars went late nights for drinks and Chinese Food. 17101914_10154962763633617_643638916_n

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I am at my lowest weight since I began my blog at 159 lbs, and I decided for fun to try on some workout pants and a few dresses at Target when I was there. I remember right before I started my blog and weight loss journey I tried on clothes at this same Target location, and they had the two-way mirror. I remember how devastated I was about how I looked, and I admit going back in that same dressing room gave me a lot of anxiety. I still have issues with body image and I don’t always realize how far I have come. I don’t think I will shop for clothes there again.

The dresses were large size and they seemed to be more than one size too big. The workout pants were a little big, and the small tank was just right. In that same rear view mirror I saw my upper arms and I realized I lost a lot of muscle since I injured my rotator cuff. I need to find a way to detail my workouts and tone my arms without injuring my shoulder any further.I admit I hurt it pretty bad, and I am not healed. At the same time I want to continue on.

I do my workouts four days a week after work and I would prefer to do the same workouts each time for at least a month, and then switch it up. I am reaching out to Melissa Bender at Benderfitness to see what she thinks I should be doing. I felt a lot of those same feeling I felt years ago in that very same dressing room, This time I felt like a failure because my arms were so strong and lean and now with my injury I am starting all over in that area. I need to get it back. 

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Moving forward. I am going to figure this out and heal and get my strength back. I am getting small but so many of my goals are about so much more than my size and the scale.  I have fitness goals, and a fitness bucket list I wish to tackle. I am always thinking ahead, but I also know it is about the daily work. I have a lot of hard work to do, one day at a time. I will continue with my training schedule that includes my workouts, my walks, my runs, and my yoga. Today is work, walking, and a workout tonight.

We tend do be our hardest critics. I will try to lighten up on myself and keep at my schedule and my goals. One day at a time. I practice kindness but not on myself, that still needs to change after all of these years. I will look to the beauty of the trees for inspiration. They are strong and graceful despite the storms that come their way. The are the ultimate survivors and our original mentors. I will pay attention and emulate their lessons.

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Happy Saturday,

Rose

 

RECOMMITTING TO MY GOALS

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In the New Year I have recommitted to a lot of my goals. I have joined Weight Watchers online and I am now my lowest weight on this blog, 159 lbs. I lost 9 lbs since I began on January 14th. I am proud to be published twice in a international yoga magazine, but there is so much more work for me to do, for this blog and my writing. I have recommitted to all of my goals.

I revised my yoga, running, and my workout schedule. Today is my running and yoga day and the weather is my type of running weather and I could not be happier. I am also revising my fitness bucket list, and I plan to work on my book stuff as well as this blog. It helps when the weather is so warm and inviting. One of the things I am really working on is my blanket drive.

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Here is what I wrote about blankets, this is one of the things I am working on. I am trying to collect blankets for the homeless at the Midnight Mission, I slacked off a little but I now have about ten blankets. I plan to deliver blankets and volunteer after I get to 150 lbs. This gives me plenty of time to collect more. 

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Happiness is a warm blanket. 

Charlie Brown

Today I had some extra time to myself when a friend cancelled on our morning coffee. It was extra time to do nothing but to snuggle with my two Siamese cats and a big fluffy blanket. As I lay there completely content to be idle, my mind started to reflect how lucky I am to have such a simple yet happy moment blanketed from all the woes found outside our front door. 

A blanket is one of those items you probably never think about, but think how attached you are to it. A blanket comforts your body and your soul. On a hot summer night do you still curl up with your blanket?  It is much more than an item that keeps you from getting cold, it is a security blanket. A blanket protects in the wee hours of the night. Even our beloved pets feel safe when there is a cozy blanket to curl up in. A blanket is warmth, and warmth is love.

For the homeless a blanket is all of these things and so much more. A blanket is a safety net from the elements of the street, a barrier against all the dangers that exist when you dwell without four walls to keep you safe. To a homeless person a blanket is shelter, a soothing hug in the middle of the night, a coat to keep you warm. A blanket is a veil of privacy, a sleeping bag, a layer between you and the mean streets. To a homeless person a simple item like a blanket is home.

This brings me to my current Charity Project. I will be doing a blanket drive to collect new blankets for the homeless for The Midnight Mission in Downtown Los Angeles.  http://www.midnightmission.org/

I am collecting now through the time I reach 150 lbs. I will be planning to volunteer and deliver the blankets, hopefully with a friend.

As I wrap it up my two Siamese cats Rascal and Spanky are in dreamland curled up with a blanket  and probably content to be there all day. Creature comforts are so important for both humans and animals. 

Much love and light.

Chasing goals and trying to help others is my aim

Namaste’

Rose