Tag Archives: challenges.

RUN, WALK, CRAWL

“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”
Dean Karnazes

I watched a bird walking the other day, he stepped with one foot ever so slowly, and stepped out with the other foot; walking without a care in the world at his own pace. He is not on a schedule, he is just walking tuned into his own rhythm. No worrying about the pace of another bird, he is just free in his graceful moment. 

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I feel in weight loss, fitness and running we often compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we feel we cannot compete so why bother. I am here to tell you it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Yes, we should cheer them on and be happy for them, but at the same time everyone has a different journey.  If you commit to something just commit to doing it to the best of your ability. Do not mind what others think, and I think you will be surprised at the amount of support you get on your road to fitness and new health. 

Today I joined a Monday running club. I have navigated so many changes recently it left my head spinning, than I took a spill last week and that almost left me down for the count. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to run today but with the help of my new Saucony running shoes I was able to run a 5K this evening. Of course I ran at my own speed and listened to my body. I also met one of the veteran runners and she gave me a piece of runner’s wisdom; there is no fast or slow just your own personal pace. She also runs a Thursday running club I may join soon.

Tonight I will ice my knee and stretch but I am so proud I ran my first personal 5K since the move to Houston. There will be time for me to work on my speed, but today I am happy that I ran 3.1 miles without stopping. I am happy in the moment. No matter what your level is, be happy in the moment. You are doing more than you did yesterday, be proud and pat yourself on the back. I am working with Melissa Bender Fitness to get back to a formal workout and running schedule. Today I am proud in my moment, I put one foot in front of the other and ran to my own rhythm.

If you spend your time looking back at everyone else you will never cover any distance, keep your eye on your path. You can do it and I can do it. Here is to the beginners, the novices, the people who are starting over as well to those who are faster and inspire us to keep going. Here’s to each and every one of us.  Hurrah to day one. Are you with me? Let’s see where this new path goes. Happy Monday to all.  Let’s do this.

Namaste’ 

Rose

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WEIGHT LOSS AFTER LOSS

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Losing a loved one knocks you down,and then you get back up and the memories knock you over again. It is a never-ending cycle, this grief stuff. I guess I just need to navigate my way around the emotional grenades and go on, and we must go on. 

Losing weight after losing a loved one, this is what is on my mind at the moment. Nothing knocked me down, nothing until I lost my Mother. I made it to my lowest weight on this journey, 159 lbs and I did it through a move from LA to San Francisco, my husband’s job loss and a move back to LA. I kept going through all of those life changes, and life did not break me and I never gained a pound. I kept losing and I am proud to say I did it, until the last month.

Now life after losing my Mother left me with a few pounds of extra weight. I admit I fell of the wagon. That’s the thing about wagons, they keep going, you just have to catch up and jump back on. I am committing to my healthy lifestyle and workouts and goals, it is not easy now. Our new kitchen is barely set up but I can do this. It starts today, I know how to do this and I know how to get to where I am going. I am back on the wagon and on the road to all of my goals. I will lose the 10 lbs I gained and get to my goals.

I am about to run to the grocery store, my hubby James is working and we need something healthy to eat. I am going to wear my runners belt and run there even with this heat and humidity. I plan on making a schedule soon, and tomorrow I have an interview to work in a local restaurant for some extra cash for my goals and our new life. I will post my workout/running/yoga schedule once I begin my job and new routine. No more slacking off. 

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I would love to know how you kept working towards your goals through a life crisis. What tips do you follow to keep at it? We are all here to inspire each other.

So much love and Light

Rose

I FINALLY WEIGHED IN, (here is what happened)

 

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I like to consider myself unique. I believe in nature vs nurture. I believe my soul comes from somewhere else and this body is just the shell in which I walk my days. Or so I convinced myself.

And then there is home and you. Not the California home I claim as my own, but the city where you raised us. Cleveland, Ohio and a magical childhood despite the struggles, but isn’t life a magical trip? The hardest part of it all is loss. Coming home is truly bittersweet, full of celebration tainted with the sour taste of regret.

My first love, I have been your reluctant twin, believing I am an original when in reality I am just a carbon copy of you. Different but so much the same. You were beauty and fire married with humor and light. I am just the prism reflecting your existence.

I cry uncle, I cry when I don’t want to cry, I cry wolf. I cry.

Birdsong reminds me there is yet another plane to catch, the one thing I should have done long ago. I like to believe you will be flying on the wings of my plane. Drinking Dewars and soda with a Jane Austen novel
In hand; cussing at the flight attendants and causing a beautiful raucous.

In memory of my best friend, My Mother

 Shirley Bruno.

These are the times that try men’s souls.

        Thomas Paine

That quote really speaks to me, ever since we left Los Angeles for San Francisco in the autumn of 2014 my life has been a roller coaster. So many twists and turns that I am surprised I am still standing. After the move to San Francisco my husband James was laid off, a sudden move back to LA, my Mother passing away and another move to Houston would have broken the strongest person indeed. But here I am, sitting in Houston, Texas drinking water and Starbucks in the public lounge of my apartment building and I lived through it all. Here I am, a little worse for wear; with a damn cold and a damaged soul. As soon as my body heals ( my heart will take more time), I plan to get back into my workout and running routine. I plan to jump back into my goals even though I feel at times there is a brick sitting on my chest. Losing a parent is no joke, it is like there is life before the loss and life after. I often wonder if I will return to my jovial self, I often wonder how do people heal from such a tremendous loss. Through it all I made my lowest weight, 159 lbs, and after my Mother passed away I gained 7 lbs which brings me back up to 166 lbs. Time to get back to work. My Mother passing was the only time I fell off the diet wagon, it was the only time I slipped up and gained weight.

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I just returned from my first trip home to Cleveland, Ohio in years. I went for my Mother’s Memorial party and I was reunited with family and my hometown friends. I ain’t gonna lie, this weight loss blogger was not thinking about my healthy diet for the last few months. In Cleveland I think I was on the hometown food tour. My Mother’s Memorial party was a beautiful tribute to everything she was about. My sister Frankie, and her friends Shar and April pulled it off like pro’s and my sister Gina and Rosita out did themselves on the sauce, meatballs, pork and spaghetti. It was wonderful seeing my sisters, my nieces,and my childhood friends and I hope to see them more often. My original girls, my sisters, my loves. Frankie, Dona, Gina, and me. The girls I look up too, all four of them. Each one inspires me to be better and do better just like Mom did.

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So here I am again, navigating yet another home. I have so many goals, and accomplishments I am most proud of to date. I will jump back in and get to work. The first step was stepping on the scale, and I am happy that the damage was not too extreme. Time to begin anew in a brand new city. To be strong and emulate the strongest female I have ever knew, my Mother.

 

END OF A CRISIS

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Good afternoon to all, I am still on west coast time, but I am adjusting. For those of you who follow my Facebook page you know my husband James and I just made the trek from Los Angeles to Houston, Texas. This was not an east decision, but we both decided the opportunity for his career was too good to pass up. Here I am again in yet another transition, and this one was particularly tough because as we were moving my Mother passed away.  A lot to deal with in such a short time. For us, ever since we left Los Angeles in 2014 for San Francisco everything has been a bit more challenging, but we got through our crisis. The hardest thing we faced was a sudden loss of a loved one, it is one of those things you feel you may never recover from. Below is a story about my Mother Shirley, she was truly a beautiful soul and unique character. She is the love of my life.

http://lebomag.com/what-my-mother-gave-me/

I have learned many lessons about life and loss, and how time is so precious. I promise to see all family, both of our families from here on out. My fear of flying I will deal with, there are loved ones to see. I fly home Friday for a memorial dinner in honor of my Mother.

I also wish my dear Mother in Law Julie a very Happy Birthday. I have the best in-laws and I cannot wait to see them soon, even if it means bringing them to us in Texas. As I work on my goals and plans it is so very important to spend time with loved ones, family and friends. I will keep in touch better going forward. 

In the time since 2014, no matter how challenging things got, I never gained a pound. I stayed on my goals and accomplished a lot of new goals with my writing and my weight loss and fitness goals. I was on it, until the last few weeks. I fell off program for a few weeks, and life and loss showed me how incredibly human I am. I know I have put on a few pounds, and as soon as the movers arrive with our stuff and my scale I will post exactly how much weight I have gained. My blankets I collected are being delivered at the end of June. I plan on looking for more charities to assist in my new home.

So here I am,  A die-hard Californian in Texas and embarking on day one today. No more treating my body like it is a trash can, back to honoring this body as the temple it is. It is the home where my soul dwells and I will treat it with the respect it deserves.

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I will keep this short and sweet, as I begin anew in another new home. I can say today I have met two new friends, and learned a lot about my new community. I plan on posting what I plan to do as I move forward, including diet and my benderfitness workouts. I also plan on starting a Youtube channel as I work towards my goals in my new home. I am very proud to say I finally got my book Camellia in Snow into the famous Book Soup on the iconic Sunset Strip, so LA I will be returning. This was a goosebumps moment indeed.

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For now, hello Texas I embrace you with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for this chance to begin anew. I found my first Texas tree, and how unique is it? It looks like an open hand reaching out for the heavens. I plan on treating my life with the same reverence, and making it my mission to help people more than ever.18838877_10155246030878617_1431367025370470149_n

 

 

 

REINVENTING YOURSELF

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One hundred year old trees still recycle themselves and come out with new flowers. Recycle yourself. Know that nature gives you the clues to living.”

Tao Porchon-Lynch

 

Reinvention, I feel like I have been mastering the art of reinvention as of the last few years. Like Tao Porchon-Lynch I often look to the trees for wisdom and inspiration. They are our pillars of wisdom, they reinvent themselves but always grow more beautiful with each passing bloom. I try to always look up to them, they are my role models. I am always in the process of shedding my leaves and patiently waiting for my blossoms to emerge. 

I am not going to sugar coat it, the last two years have been challenging to say the least. Soon I will write about the crisis I was in and what is to come in the second half of 2017. My Mother has been ill in ICU in Cleveland, Ohio but she improves a little each day. I am so grateful to all my friends for keeping her in their prayers. If she can get through, I can conquer the world. This is my Mother below, at 15 in the black bathing suit. What a beauty.

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I am most proud that as a weight loss blogger going through a challenging few years that I kept all my weight off despite the changes, the plateaus, and the hard moments that came my way. A move to San Francisco from West Hollywood, a move back to West Hollywood was just a a portion of our hardships. One could just throw in the towel and I admit there were a few times that I contemplated quitting. A good friend talked me out of it, so here I am moving forward.

My weight is still holding strong at 159 lbs and I am back counting my Weight Watchers points, and eating clean most of the time. The 80/20 rule works for me, I eat clean and leave a little wiggle room for special treats. I use Weight Watchers to keep my portions in control and to keep me from obsessing over good and bad food. It is food and I am grateful for it, and I am learning balance as I lose weight and get fit and strong.

Speaking of fitness, I did slack off there a little. I fell and injured my knee and my shoulder has been injured. Tomorrow I am starting a Melissa Bender 30 day Challenge and I plan to work on my running. I hope to be able to run to the Santa Monica Pier from my West Hollywood Home in the end of the month. I can do it and so can you. Join me on my quest to be more fit and strong and to finally get to my elusive goal weight.

http://www.benderfitness.com/2014/05/original-30-day-workout-challenge.html

Love and Light

Rose

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WEIGH IN DAY

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Good Morning to all, and what a beautiful Monday it is here in West Hollywood. I am off today and tomorrow, wrapping up my days of cat sitting two beautiful Lilac Siamese. Noodles and Peaches are my other Siamese loves, and my cats have been missing me so it will be time to go home. 

It is weigh in day and I am so happy I stayed the same at 159 lbs, I skipped the last few weeks. My scale broke, and I got frustrated with things. I am still 24 lbs to goal, and with everything going on in my life I admit to having just a few cheat days. Friday night I ate a huge tuna sub from subway, and I definitely felt ill the day after. It made me realize that my eating plan is not just about weight and appearance. It is about how I feel, my health and well-being. I had heartburn for the first time in a very long time, and I didn’t even recognize the symptoms. If you can see from the graph above I have plateaued again since February, but that is ok, No  weight gains is great for me.

I decided on Sunday to get back on track, still counting my points but going back to an anti-inflammation diet and every Monday I can deviate just a little. That way I am eating not to lose weight only, but to continue to feel good and energetic. Mondays will be the only day I consume things like flour. I believe in this type of program but I also know it is good to allow treats and deviations, just not all the time.

Here is a link to a good list of food for this type of eating from Melissa Bender Fitness.  http://www.benderfitness.com/2017/01/anti-inflammatory-diet-grocery-list.html

Today I am reveling in the fact the scale stayed the same. I feel good, and I will not be deviating this day because I am getting back on track. Next Monday will be my semi cheat day. Today it is all non processed foods with lots of produce.

My knee is healing and I feel my shoulder is too, so soon I will hit the pavement running again and start my work out schedule. I decided to rest so I would not be down for the count for longer than need be. I listened to my body even though I wanted to ignore it, and I am feeling so much better now. I have weaned myself off any pain pills for my knee too, I do not need them anymore and they made me feel awful. The last few weeks I have been walking but that is it. It is hard to slow down but I am healing.

That is all for today. I am going to go down to the pool and take a dip, or if it is too cold go in the jacuzzi.  I am celebrating that the scale stayed the same, it will be much easier now to get back on track.

It’s a lifestyle not a diet. Love and Light to all.

Rose

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

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Happy Monday to all. Today is Weigh in Monday and I decided to skip my weigh in, and weight til next Monday. Notice the spelling of wait? I need to step away from the scale, scale back from the stress of the numbers. I had a really rough week, and there are some extra stresses at the moment in my life, and I am no stranger to chaos, stress and change. How I will handle these changes will be determined in the weeks to come, but today I am breathing and just taking one moment at a time. That is all you can do anyway.

Last week I went to the ER, fell and injured my knee days later, and had a personal crisis put upon my plate. I did not track my food, I really just lost interest in logging, but I caught myself and today I begin anew, and next week I will jump back on the scale with renewed vigor no matter what the outcome is. One of the keys to losing weight is staying consistent even when life throws you lemons. Take those lemons, make lemon bars and share with others. Kindness to others always makes you feel better when you are down.

I also had a lot of positives happen this week too. I got my hair done and I am so happy with it.

My next story I pitched for Mt Lebanon Magazine was accepted. Here is the link to the first essay they published about me and Melissa from Melissa Bender Fitness. (http://lebomag.com/a-newfound-friendship/) I sent off more submissions to other magazines and websites in regards to my writing, my poetry, and my weight loss story. My book Camellia in Snow, here is the link,  (https://www.amazon.com/Camellia-Snow-Rose-Bruno-Bailey/dp/1515347141/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 )  will be at Books Soup and Vroman’s in May.

Every day is an opportunity for success, even if the success is just a tiny glimpse of success that is to come. Keep dreaming no matter what is going on around you.

Now I wait and look for more places to write for and to submit. If I fall and tumble, I will pick myself off, dust my ego and keep moving forward no matter how slow. When I am down I will write, and when I am up I will run. No matter what life throws at me, I will channel it into something positive. I don’t know where I am going, but I know I am a go getter.

Namaste’ 

Love and Light

Rose

 

NOT A NUMBER

 

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What is a number? Are we defined by numbers? Think about it, how many times a day does someone ask for your bank number, your credit number, your age, weight and phone number? Do we have names or numbers? I admit sometimes I wonder if people think differently about me after I share with them my age number. I admit to being so excited about my weight loss and the fact I finally weigh in the 150’s. Does that mean I am different than what I once was? There is a fine line between past and present, here and then. At the end I choose to be Rose. Not better but not worse, just the same me who is just so grateful to see yet another day. I’m just getting stronger and healthier. I will never lose sight of any of my dreams and goals just because society has deemed me a number. Names not numbers.

Rose Bruno Bailey

 

Happy Monday to all. Monday is my Saturday, since I am off Mondays and Tuesdays. It is also my weigh in day, and the day I allow a little wiggle room into my healthy eating plan after I jump on the scale. Today my treat of choice is Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake from Canter’s Deli in Los Angeles. They bake everything homemade and the Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake is my favorite. Of course with some delicious cinnamon coffee from Dunkin Donuts my day is dusted with sugar and spice and everything that is nice about the simpler moments of life. A little quiet time to enjoy my treat, and retreat into the cavern of my mind and do a little writing. Even the most extroverted person needs a bit of solace found in silence.

Weigh in day, my updates have been the same for over a month. It seems my body has decided 159 feels good, 159 feels strong. My body is telling me to get off the scale and focus on fitness; work on your running, flexibility and yoga practice and I will get back to you when I am good and ready. That is the message I am getting from my body after one month of stepping on a scale that is not cooperating. I have finally deciphered the translation in the numbers, get off the scale and get moving.  YOU ARE NOT THIS NUMBER. 

Message heard loud and clear. I am not a number. I am still going to pay attention to the scale, because even in maintaining weight loss it is good to know where you stand; just don’t stand on the scale more than once a week. Jump on, mentally record where you are and get moving. This week I am back to focusing on my fitness now that my toe is on the mend. I have also found a way to do my Yoga Sun Salutations without injuring my rotator cuff any further, and I will post about it in a few weeks. 

I love life, and that means loving the body I am in. I am not chasing a new body, but a body that is stronger and healthier to allow me to achieve all of the goals I set for myself and to keep living my best life.

I have come a long way from where I was in 2013 and I am grateful, and I will continue on this journey; losing weight without getting to caught up on the numbers on the scale. The numbers are there to guide me, but not to define me.

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Love and Light and Happy Monday,

Rose 17308904_1436309309747864_4383739146682615547_n

TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY

Good morning to all. Happy Transformation Tuesday. Yesterday was my weigh in day, and I stayed the same holding steady at 159 lbs. Being at this weight gives me a little anxiety. You may ask why being the lowest weight since I began my weight loss would cause anxiety. This is the reason: I know that weight can go up and down, even during a weight loss journey. I stayed the same for two weeks, and I lost 9 lbs since the middle of January. I know there will be a time when I do everything right and the scale will stay the same or tip back up. I just do not want it to go up when I am in the high 150’s. This may seem silly, but I am so proud to make it to the 150’s, and I want to stay here for some time. Since I broke my plateau in January 2017  I lost 10% of my body weight. That is a win to me.

This photo was me in 2013, well above 210. This is me today at 159 lbs and so proud.17190854_1425955677449894_8538028883844596331_n

This begins a brand new week. I am really loving Weight Watchers Online and having the app on my phone. It is freedom and totally liberating to me. I eat healthy and have done so since 2013, but the little bit of wiggle room I have now makes this feel more like a lifestyle than deprivation. If you remember I went six months without a cheat day, and that drove me crazy, and I didn’t lose a pound in those six months. Balance, I am finding my balance. Yesterday I had a inspirational brunch with a friend Emily at Mel’s Drive in West Hollywood. Eating out doesn’t have to be impossible. We split our entree and made healthy choices. The omelette was egg whites with veggies, cooked dry with no cheese. I had a few of the grilled potatoes. It was all about the coffee and conversation. Balance is key to life, and enjoying yourself makes it worth living.

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Speaking of balance, I am working on my fitness, my yoga and my running. I am also a bit of a klutz and I bruised my toe. I do not know how, but I have injured two toes in the last few years, and bruised one toe I previously injured. I did not trip on my own feet, it was choreography. They say dancers and former dancers tend to be klutzy, and I am here to say that is a true fact for me. Today I feel so much better, so I will get out for a walk and perhaps a run. I do really need proper running shoes. I have learned that shoes make all the difference. I prefer Saucony. Do you have a favorite running shoe?

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I am learning that weight loss and fitness is not linear. It is up and down, and back up again. There will be times when your body tells you slow down, and times when you kick it up a notch. The key is to listen to your body. Don’t let setbacks stop you, take a rest than keep moving forward. It is Transformation Tuesday and for me transformation would be impossible without the day in, day out daily hustle to get to my goals. Have fun while you are out killing it.

Lee Strasberg once said, It’s about the work. 

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INJURY AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES

Happy Saturday to all. I am about to drink this delicious Cinnamon Dunkin Donuts coffee with my ThinkThin Protein Bar. Yesterday after my run at the park we discovered they are opening a brand new Trader Joe’s right next to the park. That is such a game changer for me. I can go run on the track at the park, and shop for a healthy dinner at my favorite grocery store. I love Trader Joe’s.17105711_10154962767403617_1649281781_n17125017_10154962776603617_308116148_n

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We bought the coffee at Target, and we did a little shopping after my run and walk. I was so hungry so we stopped at Jersey Mikes, and we each had a mini Turkey Sub on whole wheat. It was so delicious and satisfying and 12 points. A little high considering it was a mini but it was really delicious and worth it. I had plenty of points for the day so all was well with the world. 17105402_10154962763878617_739443869_n (1)

We stopped at the famous Formosa and took a few selfies. The Formosa is a Hollywood Landmark and I am so sorry to say has recently closed. The Formosa was known for being a place where the stars went late nights for drinks and Chinese Food. 17101914_10154962763633617_643638916_n

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I am at my lowest weight since I began my blog at 159 lbs, and I decided for fun to try on some workout pants and a few dresses at Target when I was there. I remember right before I started my blog and weight loss journey I tried on clothes at this same Target location, and they had the two-way mirror. I remember how devastated I was about how I looked, and I admit going back in that same dressing room gave me a lot of anxiety. I still have issues with body image and I don’t always realize how far I have come. I don’t think I will shop for clothes there again.

The dresses were large size and they seemed to be more than one size too big. The workout pants were a little big, and the small tank was just right. In that same rear view mirror I saw my upper arms and I realized I lost a lot of muscle since I injured my rotator cuff. I need to find a way to detail my workouts and tone my arms without injuring my shoulder any further.I admit I hurt it pretty bad, and I am not healed. At the same time I want to continue on.

I do my workouts four days a week after work and I would prefer to do the same workouts each time for at least a month, and then switch it up. I am reaching out to Melissa Bender at Benderfitness to see what she thinks I should be doing. I felt a lot of those same feeling I felt years ago in that very same dressing room, This time I felt like a failure because my arms were so strong and lean and now with my injury I am starting all over in that area. I need to get it back. 

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Moving forward. I am going to figure this out and heal and get my strength back. I am getting small but so many of my goals are about so much more than my size and the scale.  I have fitness goals, and a fitness bucket list I wish to tackle. I am always thinking ahead, but I also know it is about the daily work. I have a lot of hard work to do, one day at a time. I will continue with my training schedule that includes my workouts, my walks, my runs, and my yoga. Today is work, walking, and a workout tonight.

We tend do be our hardest critics. I will try to lighten up on myself and keep at my schedule and my goals. One day at a time. I practice kindness but not on myself, that still needs to change after all of these years. I will look to the beauty of the trees for inspiration. They are strong and graceful despite the storms that come their way. The are the ultimate survivors and our original mentors. I will pay attention and emulate their lessons.

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Happy Saturday,

Rose