Tag Archives: starting over

INSPIRATION

Starting over is never easy, especially after you lost most of your weight and you believed weight gain could not happen to you. 

Gaining weight, it did happen to me. I lost 60 and kept it off until June and in six months I have gained 30 back. The hardest part is admitting it. Now that I have faced it I’m ready to work hard again.

How am I going to do it the second time around? The first thing I did was contact a local food bank. When I commit to doing good for someone who needs it everything falls into perspective for me. Collecting food for the food bank is my first ten pound charity.

Do I still have problems and challenges? Of course, my cat Rascal is still sick and we are doing everything we can to heal him. It’s a lot of work but that’s what you do when you love. Does this mean I can neglect my health? Not any longer, no more excuses.

I did some grocery shopping so I can be ready to face my diet days. My friend Bill gave me his recipe for a post workout protein shake. It’s coconut water, a dab of chocolate syrup for flavor and powdered pea protein from Trader Joe’s. I’m going to add banana and spinach to my daily smoothies. Besides my running, workout schedule, writing I also plan to read some inspirational literature. I have owned The Alchemist for some time but I have never read it, so it’s my first book to read for week one.

Posting from my phone is new territory for me, but I believe it will help me stay accountable. Today is day two and even though we are in the midst of the Holidays I believe I got this even if it’s my second time around. Willpower don’t fail me now.

Have you lost a lot of weight and gained some or all of it back? Was it due to a life crisis? I would love to hear from you and hear your story. 

In times of change and transition I take solace in the fact that weight gain is only permanent if I believe it is permanent. It is up to me.

Love and Light

Let’s Do This 

Namaste’ 

Rose

 

 

 

 

 

 

STARTING OVER

I Have taken to grinding my teeth, which means I have a lot of stress to deal with.  In the last six months I lost my way on this blog and my weight loss journey; my Mother’s passing, a move away from California and a very sick cat left me with thirty extra pounds. I did the unthinkable, I gained half my weight back. This post is not to complain about the changes and stress that I encountered. This post is me facing my weight gain and getting back to blogging and losing weight. I know what to do, it just took me a while to find my way back to me. Half the battle is facing the music head on, admitting it happened and making the necessary changes to get back on track. My name is Rose and I went from 159 lbs in May of 2017 to 189 lbs as of Today November 29th 2017. For the sake of blogging I am going to say I am 190 it is easier to manage the numbers.

Today is my real day one, I am starting over.  I am going to lose my first ten pounds of the thirty I gained. I am going to do my food drive when I lose the ten pounds. I am back to committing to a charity and committing to myself and my health. I couldn’t be more motivated. It took me six months to get here but here I am, ready to get to work. Each day I workout and eat healthy I will collect a can to be donated when I lose my first ten pounds.

How am I going to do it? How did you do it? These are questions I am often faced, but I am in unfamiliar territory having had the moment when I slipped up and lost my momentum. I spent six months eating foods on a regular basis that normally I would only eat as a treat. I also ate a lot of carbs. I know my body and what diet works best for my body type. This is not my first rodeo. I am doing what I always did successfully but I am doing a do over.

Exercise, I am doing cardio mostly walking nightly on the treadmill after work with my husband James. We call it date night. We are getting healthy together and getting back eating mostly plant-based and lower carbohydrate and some lean protein for me. I am also doing body weight exercise based workouts from Melissa Bender Fitness and in a few weeks when I feel ready I plan to tackle the machines at the gym. I plan to run three times a week and Yoga and stretching to round it out. I am also working a server job again, which helps because it is an active job and I can bring home healthy salads and fish dishes.

Here it goes, I got on the scale, all the Thanksgiving leftovers are gone. I have my challenges but that is life. Dealing with my weight gain head on with diet and working out will only help me with these challenges. I also plan to post more often, and some posts will just be quick updates with no fancy writing. I plan to plan to be here and be accountable. Less photos for now and more of the struggles we all face. I will save my writing for publications and photos for when I start losing again. For now it is all about the hard work. I have a slow computer and my goal is to be here and get it done and get to work on my fitness. There will be time later when I get a faster pc for more photo uploads when I start losing again. No excuses.

There is no shame in admitting you stumbled, there is no shame in admitting you fell on your face. Can you get up? Stand back up? Fall nine, get up ten. I am getting back up, my self esteem is bruised but soon it will heal.

After all, we are all human. I found out how human I really am. I also remembered feeling strong, fit and healthy feels better than eating pie.

Love and Light, 

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

Good Day to all. I am on my day three of beginning my weight loss journey again, looking through a new lens and enjoying the beginning stages. I had quite the hiatus from my fitness and weight loss goals, so picking a charity to focus on has made all the difference in the world. I am doing a personal food drive for my first ten pounds. 

As I said in my previous post, each day I work out and eat healthy and stick to counting my points and staying accountable to my goals I will buy two cans, one for diet and one for workout. Monday and Tuesday I earned four cans for my food drive and I am beginning to feel much better. Putting my focus on earning cans for a food drive has made all the difference for me and it’s the first time in months I am sticking to my plan. I am promising to do something that helps me and will help others.

My plan is simple. I am doing the 80/20 rule again. I eat low processed and clean most of the time, and I trust my willpower to allow slight deviations without having a binge. I don’t want to be too all or nothing because that often backfires. I am also doing weight watchers online, counting my points and eating a lot of vegetables and plenty of fruit. I am not giving up on grains but keeping them to a minimum. To begin my first week I am jumping back to an hour of cardio a day. My plan to exercise every day for an hour or so, and I will be adding my workouts and yoga to my training schedule. 

I have a photo shoot planned in Pittsburgh PA on the summer solstice in 2018 to document my weight loss journey. It will be the five-year anniversary of my blog and I plan to be an after. Right now I am a work in progress. I have so many goals and plans for this blog going forward, but week one is just about finding my way back. I am finding myself again and it is wonderful.

Namaste’

Rose

STARTING DAY ONE

 

Starting over feels impossible, but it is just as easy as it ever was. It is all in the mindset.

Hello to all. I have not blogged in what seems like forever. I call it my hiatus. It took me some time to get back here. I am a little humbled after taking the whole summer to just rest and write but now it is time to get back to my weight loss and fitness goals. I am starting day one today. I have been busy with my writing goals and a little healing.

Below is a link to my essay series I wrote for WEHOville.com and an essay about my early days in Pittsburgh PA for Mt Lebanon Magazine.  I am also in Cleveland Magazines November issue, and I was published in Asana Journal yoga magazine. I now plan to juggle my writing goals with this blog and make it to my goal weight by the summer solstice in 2018.

https://lebomag.com/ladies-who-lunch/

http://www.wehoville.com/author/rbrunobailey/

I have gained a few pounds, but I am putting that behind me as I jump back into my weight loss program. I know what to do and now it is time to do what I do best. My health and well-being depends on it. You can choose to be happy and healthy with proper nutrition and exercise.

How am I starting over? I am starting a new beginning, and I will talk about my diet and fitness in future posts. I am starting over with a new charity. As you know I had weight loss and fitness success helping a charity with each ten pounds, and I helped numerous charities and lost 60 lbs. Well after my Mom’s passing and my move to Houston I fell of the wagon, got a little bruised and now I am jumping back on. I may be a little more clumsy in my jump than I was a few months ago, but that is ok. I will get there again.

I am starting with clean eating and exercise. Each day, beginning today I get through my day with the proper diet and water, and an hour exercise I will go to the store and buy two canned goods to be put aside. Each day I will do this, and by the end of each week I will have collected 14 cans to be donated when I lose my first ten pounds since stepping away from my weight loss blog. I plan to volunteer and deliver them to a local food bank, and my husband James is planning on joining me. I already have my cans for today, my new day one. I am getting back to basics.

It is a win win. I commit to getting healthy and working on my health, fitness and weight loss goals and I help a local food bank with my own personal food drive. I have said this before, and now I understand exactly what I meant. Feeling good and feeling healthy is far better than cheat days and splurges. I had one too many splurges this summer and I have not felt well. Health and well-being are more important to me than comfort food.

I am keeping day one short and sweet. I have some shopping to do and cardio and day one workout. I also am contacting food banks and I will announce where I am volunteering for my first ten pound weight loss in a future post.

OG original weight 220

WLW weight loss weight 159

CW current weight 179 (after my 20 lb weight gain) 

GW goal weight 135

Let’s do this, fall nine times and get up ten.

Time to get back to the grind.

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

TRANSITIONS IN WEIGHT LOSS

Transitions in weight loss and gaining some weight back. Pick yourself up, pick up the pieces, pick up your weights. Transitions in weight loss happen, just pick it back up where you left off. Continue the journey, you got this.

Starting Weight 220

Lowest weight loss 159

Weight Gain, Current Weight 179 

Goal Weight 130-135 By Summer

Last night I woke up from a dream. I must have been at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset Blvd near where I lived in West Hollywood. It was so real and so vivid that I woke up and decided I would go there today to work on my writing projects. Than I realized where I was and that made going there impossible. I was dreaming but awake.

I find myself living in this beautiful little community right outside of Houston Texas, and after everything James and I have been through I am grateful to have the opportunity to pick up all the broken pieces, to pay the debt from when James was unemployed. I miss West Hollywood but I have to focus on the now for now.  I can either wallow in self pity or get back to being the best me I can be, and do it here in Houston.

As I begin this blog again just like when I began in 2013 I took a new waitress job, and I am assuming it will be my last. This job is going to be a learning curve for me as far as managing my time to do my outside pursuits. As my Mother Shirley would say, suck it up kid. We need two incomes to be able to get us back on track. So this autumn I need to find a way to work on my goals and manage a full time server job. The gym in my complex is open 24 hours so I should be ok. I also plan to do all of this and some writing projects  and do it with a smile. 

If you find yourself in hot water, make like a kettle and sing. I am singing today, my official day two. I am also saying goodbye to my former self, the summer me who gained a few pounds and was just a little lost. Today is my day two and I am ready for a better version of me. I am using the lose it app to keep my portions and calories in control and writing up my ten goals for the month of October. I think slipping up one time in four years is not too bad. So here I am, downloading my running playlist, singing and cooking healthy food. Today I am making soup, here is the recipe I am making tonight. It is autumn and even though it is still so hot here James loves soups and football.

How To Make Vegetarian Split Pea Soup

 

Ain’t no use in complaining when you got a job to do. Bryan Adams

I have a lot of jobs to do but I like it that way. 

Namaste’

Love and Light

Rose

FULL CIRCLE

20472165_10155431492018617_1161137351_nWe start fresh, we get excited. We go all in, gung ho and high on our new quest. Life comes in and decides to shake us up a bit. We stumble and fall from the personal earthquake that is our life,  After the last aftershock ceases we stay still in fear and our own perceived failures, we stop moving forward. Eventually we circle back, all things are connected even our goals and the obstacles that seem to keep us at arms distance from our destination. We circle back, eventually everything comes full circle, even us.

I am in the process of circling back and finding my way. This week was my first weigh in since I dropped the ball on my fitness and weight loss journey. The ball bounced upward in my favor, as I lost five of the thirteen pounds I gained and now it is also time to re-commit to my fitness routine.

My fitness routine to begin is this:

walking every day except on my running days- one hour or more

Running three times a week

Melissa Bender Fitness 3 times a week

Sneaking in stretching and yoga to help me succeed.

Seems simple and I think it is something I can sustain as my body starts to bounce back.

Are you with me, are you circling back after dropping the ball on your goals? We are all connected, let’s circle back together.

Namaste

Love and Light

Rose

 

 

 

I GOT A NEW ATTITUDE

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

That quote sums up what I need to do since I moved from my beloved West Hollywood CA to Houston, Texas. It’s time to make radical changes in my thoughts and attitude. I am starting over fresh, in this blog and my goals; to commit to posting at least every other day and to start over in my weight loss/fitness journey. As soon as I settle in I will be looking for new charities to help again. No more complaining I miss California, as I plan to embrace all of the positives of where I am living at the moment. I have landed in Texas, but I plan to take off in my goals and dreams. This is a gift of a new beginning. There is beauty when you open your eyes and look for beauty.

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Since 2014, We moved from LA to San Francisco, from San Francisco to LA, and recently from LA to Houston. That is one move a year. My husband James was unemployed for over a year and my Mother passed away recently. Sometimes I am surprised we are both still standing. That was a lot of changes and a lot of new beginnings, but each new beginning is just that; a new beginning. Life happens, we adjust, we falter; and we finally pick up the broken pieces and put them back together again. We figure it out. I am doing that now, I am figuring it out.

For the first time since I began this blog I gained weight. It started with 6 lbs and went up to 13 lbs. I realized I needed to go back to #weightwatchersonline before it was too late. It’s been one week and tomorrow is my first weigh in day. Starting over again at 173 lbs. I went from 159 lbs up to 173 lbs but now the scale will be moving in my favor again. The goal is to treat this blog as brand new, with new excitement and ideas. 

Today I met with a friend I know from The Richard Simmons community who also happens to be an author. It was an inspirational lunch, and I got my copy of her book signed. She even brought me a copy of her children’s book that just came out. Her first book, An Exodus From Obesity is filled with so much insight from someone who lost a lot of weight. Wisdom, inspiration and life’s lessons. I also picked up a copy of The Alchemist. Everyone who read it said it was life changing literature. It is just what I need for my new tomorrow.

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To Tomorrow, and new beginnings and life’s changes. Out with the old and in with the new.

Namaste’

Rose

LEVELS OF LOW

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Humility, that low, sweet root, from which all heavenly virtues shoot.

Thomas Moore

 

I used to think I was too lucky to be so happy-go-lucky.  I would wake up happy for no reason. Nothing would get me down. I was just happy to wake up, grateful for my morning breath as well as my morning cup of steaming coffee. I could say I am an optimist, but let’s be honest here. I am a part-time optimist when things are going in my favor. It is easy to be breezy when life is going well with no complications. Part of my happiness has been haunted by this little apparition standing behind me taunting me with what if’s. It is one of the reasons I avoid trips to the doctor. What if the rug is pulled out under my feet? What if this natural state of euphoria I live in is a hoax or a false reality? What if something happens to test how optimistic I really am? What if I am just a walking, talking fraud? What if?

I have been in a crisis for quite some time now. My crisis came to a crescendo when I stopped working on my goals. I just stopped in November. I stopped working out, I stopped running, I stopped eating healthy and I stopped hoping.  The stress was manageable until I stopped being me and working on everything I had been so proud of for the last few years. Stress and his sidekick anxiety grabbed me by the lapel, shook me until I was left humbled and left me with bigger problems to face. Weight gain, depression, anxiety. It is easy to indulge your inner pessimist and wallow in your woes when you surrender way too easily. The hard part is fighting back.  The biggest challenge is to kick depression and anxiety to the curb, escape their dark clutches and find your way back into the sunlight. That is where it is warm, that is where you can reboot and find the answers you seek. Hope is seen in the refection of the sunlight dancing off the pavement. Go there and try to hear the music.

I stayed home tonight to deal with some pressing personal issues, and I realized even though I am not yet doing what I love full-time, doing a job that is a means to an end is a gift and definitely not a given. I am blessed to work in a place that is lively, where the people are kind and sincere and genuinely care about each other. Staying away does not help my cause, it just hinders it. I need to face that music I spoke of, fight back my demons and be grateful for every light filled opportunity I have to better our lives. We all have a little meek in us, as well as a little mighty.  Here I am, a new published author and a waitress, both are equally important to me.

We are human, and we all face certain hardships from time to time. There is dirt below our toes that keeps us literally down to earth. I realized this as I was watching the news, and seeing people in crises far worse than my own and I felt shamed. Young and old battling diseases and health problems, tornadoes, tragic accidents. It is an old cliché’ but it could be worse. There are levels of lows, and barometers of strength.

I have been up and down, and with a new dawn and a new year approaching I am going to find my way back up to the top of the cliff. That is where I can feel closest to the sun. If you need me in 2016 I will be basking in the promise of tomorrow with my brand new sun-kissed outlook. Back to my working out and all of the goals that I chose to chase when I began this blog. I look forward to getting high on endorphins and on life.

I am a work in progress but the sun will rise tomorrow, and it gives each and every one of us another chance to start over. I will rise up with the sun and take each and every new beginning that comes my way. I may not be perfect, but I am breathing; there is coffee brewing and all is well with the world.

With love and light

Rose

 

 

BLUEBERRIES AND KALE, OH MY.

I started weight watchers again, online. It will help me keep on track and lose my next 40 lbs. I sometimes do not eat enough and this should help me to eat more consistently and break my huge plateau. Losing fifty pounds was easy, now it is time to take this to another level. With my online ww tracking, my running, and my Melissa Bender Fitness workouts this should be what I need to move the scale. I will be talking about my charities and fitness bucket list once I feel back on track, I gained a few pounds on my weekend in Monterey and my plan is to lose that and start there.  Moving to the San Francisco area and my transition has not made my goals as easy as they were in Los Angeles, but I am ready to change that starting today. My first poetry book will be out in a few months and as I awaken with the sun I am reminded that life is beautiful, and I am always ready and willing to evolve and become a better version of myself.  Listening to Sirius XM Metropolitan Opera I am inspired for what is to come. It ain’t over till the former fat lady sings. 

“Recreate your life, always, always.
Remove the stones, plant rose bushes and make sweets.”
Begin again.”
Cora Coralina

KALE AND BLUEBERRIES, OH MY

The two foods I love to put on everything are Kale and Blueberries and they have zero points on weight watchers.

I eat Kale and Blueberries, a lot. I ask for them in my smoothies, and top all of my salads and sandwiches with them, This is why:

1. They are just tasty and delicious. The combo of bitter crunchy greens with sweet succulent blueberries adds a an interesting mix to my sandwiches, salads and smoothies.

2. They are quick and easy. I am all about how fast I can eat something healthy, because I am on the run and live for convenience. Kale can be found pre-washed and bagged and blueberries are easy, no pealing of a messy fruit.
3. I get instant all natural fiber.One cup of Kale has 1.3 grams of fiber and blueberries have 2.4  grams of fiber. Bam, I am getting my fiber in without trying. Making a sandwich with Ezekiel Sprouted Bread just ups the fiber content. Add a little protein and you have a clean eating, nutritious quick meal. I am all about convenience and food on the go. So I can go; go work out, go running.
4. Superfoods are super. Blueberries are little blue anti-aging wonders, loaded with antioxidants, and they reduce inflammation. They are delicious too. Kale is loaded with potassium, B6, Vitamin C. I love the crunch it adds to an unlikely combo of kale and peanut butter on Sprouted Ezekiel Bread. A wonder sandwich without the wonder bread. Wonderful!!
5. They keep me looking young, well that is my story and I am sticking with it. No, really, Kale is loaded with iron which helps with hair loss, and Vitamin C helps with building collagen for skin and hair. Blueberries are an anti inflammatory food, and we all know by now inflammation is not our friend.
This is not a scientific study of course, just my personal observation about two of my favorite foods. I find when you are losing weight, it makes sense to find what you like and stock your fridge with it so you are prepared to move forward in your weight loss endeavors with success. What are your favorite foods? Just go for it, and keep being wonderful.
Love and Light
Rose

STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY

As you know, I am a former dancer and a poet, and I have my best friend Melissa Bender to thank for suggesting I write poetry in 2005, as well as getting me dancing again when I thought I was getting too old and that ship had sailed. When I started this project to sponsor a charity with each ten pound loss, I just assumed I was speed walk and diet and eventually lose the weight and take dance classes again.

Instead I found myself with the help of a trainer Mike turned dear friend ( who I feel indebted to).  Mike gave me his support, time, and expertise and granted me the keys to fitness; which opened up a whole new world to me. My best friend Melissa continued to inspire not just me but the masses with her incredible workouts, and I used those for my home based exercise and yoga. Melissa was my biggest cheerleader and kept me going even though she was on the other side of the country.

I promised myself I would be completely authentic, and I was open about everything. I became fearless and ageless and I have so many fitness goals and items on my fitness bucket list. I may not be ready for all of my dreams yet, but I will be. When I shared with Melissa my desire to do a ambassador program for a fitness or yoga website she suggested I be her very first fitness ambassador. It was perfect timing, and a completely natural fit. 

I navigated a move from Los Angeles to San Francisco and I will be beginning anew as a Benderfitness ambassador with the iconic Golden Gate Bridge as my new backdrop. I will be sharing every detail of the next three months. I plan to do Melissa Bender Fitness three month Bikini prep workouts and yoga videos to build a solid home practice, cardio and I plan to follow her diet plan. She used the plan to prep for her bikini competition.

 I also just found out Melissa plans to come my way at the end of the three months and we are shooting a video and tackling one of the items off my fitness bucket list, Trapeze Classes. Now I have to become stronger than ever, since I am not near ready to take a class. I am so excited and thrilled to take on this challenge, and happy I have Melissa to train me and help me go into 2015 with a bang. I also plan to do raffle for charity on my site, and I am looking into non profits who do not get a lot of funds. Helping others as I help myself, with a little or a lot of help from my best friend.

melissabikini

Melissa who won trophies for her bikini competition

I am in good hands

 

http://www.benderfitness.com/

http://www.benderfitness.com/p/bikini-competition-workouts.html

 

https://www.facebook.com/MelissaBenderFitness

Namaste’

Love and Light

Rose