Tag Archives: never give up

WEIGH IN AND WILLPOWER

“Take a lesson from the trees, watch the way they bend with each breeze, little victories.”

— Bob Seger

Good Afternoon.That quote totally resonates with me.  I lost 2 lbs, today I weighed in at 188 lbs, There has been much frustration on my end, struggling with my willpower that seems to wane in the evenings. I am almost there, but I need to tweak some issues with willpower. I am happy about the loss but I have to correct my inconsistencies. I started over weighing in a week ago at 190 lbs. I just need to work harder, period.

I am eating a plant-based diet and trying to have mostly raw foods when possible. There are moments when my husband James asks me to make him vegan comfort foods, and it can be hard to resist vegan Bolognese and vegan tacos when I am trying to eat as clean as possible. Those foods aren’t terrible, and they are definitely better than the meat alternatives; but for someone like me who is really having a hard time losing weight they are too high in starchy carbs and sodium. They are also the kind of foods we all tend to overeat.

I have been charting my calories on the LoseItapp and even with these little vegan cheats my calories never go over 1,600. I try to stay under 1,300. I don’t believe in full on cheat days, but working some foods into your calories without overeating. I can still do better and I will.

Today is a new day and a new week, I need to practice more mindful eating.  I am tweaking some things to see what works. When I started this blog 5 years ago I was not living a plant-based lifestyle, and I ate low carb and high protein. So this is trial in error for me. I am learning what works for my body, and doing tons of research. I will start posting what I am eating when I get on a roll and find out exactly what is working for me. This really is a brand new journey in more ways than one. Celebrate small victories and work a little harder each and every day.

Love and Light

Rose

STARTING OVER

Happy Thursday and happy health to all.

I had an epiphany yesterday. I have been held back by my ego, my vision and memories of all my weight loss success I had on this blog. I was really doing it, than life literally kicked me in the caboose.

To move forward I have to realize it is for my health and fitness, and accept I slipped. I need to quit focusing on my appearance and do it because it is what I love and the end reward is health. Of course looking great is a bonus but I am not going to put the emphasis on my appearance. Looking at photos from one year ago just makes me sad and stagnate. I finally had my husband James take new before photos and I plan to really get to work on my fitness. These are the only before photos I will take for three months. 

It has been a year and I gained thirty of the sixty pounds I lost. I also lost my fit body because honestly I have not lifted a weight in a year and my cardio sessions have not been consistent. I own it all and now I am starting completely brand new. This blog is now my new journey with my starting weight of 188 lbs.

We got some bad news the past week,more than one bout with bad news. That’s the thing about bad news when it is about other people than yourself, you have to keep it private even on a public forum as a blog. So not only am I starting over, I am starting over after life decided to kick but again. It is ok, kick me down and I will stand back up. 

My tools for working out this time around are simple. Melissa Bender Fitness, my hubby James who works out daily, and the gym and pool where I live. Everything else is up to me this time around. Making it happen this time after all of the challenges is going to mean so much more. I am not yet on hypothyroidism meds and I am trying to tackle this without it for now.

Here are the photos, no more shame. I own this and will succeed round two. I admit looking at these brings tears to my eyes. That is motivation enough to push hard. Thank you to all for the support and I hope I can start losing weight again and help some charities along the way. Love, light and truth. 

FAILURE IS NOT MY FINAL DESTINATION

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Dreams, we all have them. It’s one of the things that motivates us to move forward in life. Dreaming feels like stepping through muddy moments and coming out refreshed on the other side, where the sun shines in a bright blue sky and rain comes down like a warm release of cleansing water. Dreams, I live for my dreams and passions and I have many dreams.

This blog was one of my dreams. It began with an idea. That’s the thing with dreams, at first they are just ideas. Our imagination concocts these thoughts called ideas, and it is up to us to either ignore them or find ways to turn thoughts into ideas and then into dreams. Sounds magical I know, and it is. I remember when my best friend suggested I write poems. Her suggestion was a thought, her thought became an idea and when she conveyed it to me it became my thoughts and ideas; and finally one of my dreams. I started writing, first with poems and later memoirs and essays. I am far from done and grateful to Melissa for her amazing idea that changed my life and my direction in which I live it.

The idea for this blog became a dream of mine. To lose weight while helping charities. It became one of my passions in my life and took me to places I had no idea I would even think of going. I had success, I lost 60 lbs and helped a lot of charities, and I was introduced to the world of fitness for the first time since my dancing days. This blog sprouted ideas that I continue to work on. I am so proud of the work I do. One of my largest dreams is to one day after I reach my goal to become a motivational speaker, helping others achieve weight loss and confidence, and encouraging them to pay it forward and help others all while achieving their own personal goals.

That same sky that brought the sunshine and the cleansing rain fell right through, more than once. In the same six months I went from achieving my lowest weight on this blog to gaining 30 lbs back six months later. I experienced the loss of my Mom, a move from LA to Houston and the sickness and loss of our beloved Siamese Rascal. I discovered I  sometimes can be an emotional eater. I did all of those things I thought were behind me, I ate unhealthy food and stopped exercising. Stress took over my life, especially during the three months I tried to save Rascal. The overeating, the lack of exercise, the stress and the grief taught me a valuable lesson. We are all human, we will fall from time to time. Our failures and falls do not define us. Our humanity and connection to each other defines us. Love defines us. What I did to try to save Rascal was love.

So back to dreams. How does one dream of doing something when they worked so hard to get to their goals and they failed? How can you continue if you failed? Where do you go from here? How do you start over? Can I ever make that dream of helping others lose weight after I myself had a setback? Am I not worthy? 

The answer is we are not defined by our failures and our setbacks, but how we stand back up; scraped knees, bruised egos and all. Facing our failure but putting it behind us as we admit we need to make a change and move forward. The key to change is facing you fell, forgiving yourself for faltering and admitting it happened. Connecting to others helps in the process, no man is an island. Connecting to other people was a huge part of my beginning of this blog and I will continue to connect and not try to go it alone. We are all connected.

I am back to blogging, back to losing weight ( with more to lose after my 30 lb weight gain), back to helping charities and working on my fitness goals; back after heartbreak and the business of being human. 

I fell hard, but I stand up again. I am alive, the sun rose today and I couldn’t think of a better way of honoring life by taking the universe up of the gift of another chance to dream and to do what I love; turning magical thoughts into inspirational ideas and dream, dream and do.

Nice to see you again,

Namaste’

Rose

I GOT A NEW ATTITUDE

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

That quote sums up what I need to do since I moved from my beloved West Hollywood CA to Houston, Texas. It’s time to make radical changes in my thoughts and attitude. I am starting over fresh, in this blog and my goals; to commit to posting at least every other day and to start over in my weight loss/fitness journey. As soon as I settle in I will be looking for new charities to help again. No more complaining I miss California, as I plan to embrace all of the positives of where I am living at the moment. I have landed in Texas, but I plan to take off in my goals and dreams. This is a gift of a new beginning. There is beauty when you open your eyes and look for beauty.

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Since 2014, We moved from LA to San Francisco, from San Francisco to LA, and recently from LA to Houston. That is one move a year. My husband James was unemployed for over a year and my Mother passed away recently. Sometimes I am surprised we are both still standing. That was a lot of changes and a lot of new beginnings, but each new beginning is just that; a new beginning. Life happens, we adjust, we falter; and we finally pick up the broken pieces and put them back together again. We figure it out. I am doing that now, I am figuring it out.

For the first time since I began this blog I gained weight. It started with 6 lbs and went up to 13 lbs. I realized I needed to go back to #weightwatchersonline before it was too late. It’s been one week and tomorrow is my first weigh in day. Starting over again at 173 lbs. I went from 159 lbs up to 173 lbs but now the scale will be moving in my favor again. The goal is to treat this blog as brand new, with new excitement and ideas. 

Today I met with a friend I know from The Richard Simmons community who also happens to be an author. It was an inspirational lunch, and I got my copy of her book signed. She even brought me a copy of her children’s book that just came out. Her first book, An Exodus From Obesity is filled with so much insight from someone who lost a lot of weight. Wisdom, inspiration and life’s lessons. I also picked up a copy of The Alchemist. Everyone who read it said it was life changing literature. It is just what I need for my new tomorrow.

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To Tomorrow, and new beginnings and life’s changes. Out with the old and in with the new.

Namaste’

Rose

I FINALLY WEIGHED IN, (here is what happened)

 

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I like to consider myself unique. I believe in nature vs nurture. I believe my soul comes from somewhere else and this body is just the shell in which I walk my days. Or so I convinced myself.

And then there is home and you. Not the California home I claim as my own, but the city where you raised us. Cleveland, Ohio and a magical childhood despite the struggles, but isn’t life a magical trip? The hardest part of it all is loss. Coming home is truly bittersweet, full of celebration tainted with the sour taste of regret.

My first love, I have been your reluctant twin, believing I am an original when in reality I am just a carbon copy of you. Different but so much the same. You were beauty and fire married with humor and light. I am just the prism reflecting your existence.

I cry uncle, I cry when I don’t want to cry, I cry wolf. I cry.

Birdsong reminds me there is yet another plane to catch, the one thing I should have done long ago. I like to believe you will be flying on the wings of my plane. Drinking Dewars and soda with a Jane Austen novel
In hand; cussing at the flight attendants and causing a beautiful raucous.

In memory of my best friend, My Mother

 Shirley Bruno.

These are the times that try men’s souls.

        Thomas Paine

That quote really speaks to me, ever since we left Los Angeles for San Francisco in the autumn of 2014 my life has been a roller coaster. So many twists and turns that I am surprised I am still standing. After the move to San Francisco my husband James was laid off, a sudden move back to LA, my Mother passing away and another move to Houston would have broken the strongest person indeed. But here I am, sitting in Houston, Texas drinking water and Starbucks in the public lounge of my apartment building and I lived through it all. Here I am, a little worse for wear; with a damn cold and a damaged soul. As soon as my body heals ( my heart will take more time), I plan to get back into my workout and running routine. I plan to jump back into my goals even though I feel at times there is a brick sitting on my chest. Losing a parent is no joke, it is like there is life before the loss and life after. I often wonder if I will return to my jovial self, I often wonder how do people heal from such a tremendous loss. Through it all I made my lowest weight, 159 lbs, and after my Mother passed away I gained 7 lbs which brings me back up to 166 lbs. Time to get back to work. My Mother passing was the only time I fell off the diet wagon, it was the only time I slipped up and gained weight.

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I just returned from my first trip home to Cleveland, Ohio in years. I went for my Mother’s Memorial party and I was reunited with family and my hometown friends. I ain’t gonna lie, this weight loss blogger was not thinking about my healthy diet for the last few months. In Cleveland I think I was on the hometown food tour. My Mother’s Memorial party was a beautiful tribute to everything she was about. My sister Frankie, and her friends Shar and April pulled it off like pro’s and my sister Gina and Rosita out did themselves on the sauce, meatballs, pork and spaghetti. It was wonderful seeing my sisters, my nieces,and my childhood friends and I hope to see them more often. My original girls, my sisters, my loves. Frankie, Dona, Gina, and me. The girls I look up too, all four of them. Each one inspires me to be better and do better just like Mom did.

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So here I am again, navigating yet another home. I have so many goals, and accomplishments I am most proud of to date. I will jump back in and get to work. The first step was stepping on the scale, and I am happy that the damage was not too extreme. Time to begin anew in a brand new city. To be strong and emulate the strongest female I have ever knew, my Mother.

 

END OF A CRISIS

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Good afternoon to all, I am still on west coast time, but I am adjusting. For those of you who follow my Facebook page you know my husband James and I just made the trek from Los Angeles to Houston, Texas. This was not an east decision, but we both decided the opportunity for his career was too good to pass up. Here I am again in yet another transition, and this one was particularly tough because as we were moving my Mother passed away.  A lot to deal with in such a short time. For us, ever since we left Los Angeles in 2014 for San Francisco everything has been a bit more challenging, but we got through our crisis. The hardest thing we faced was a sudden loss of a loved one, it is one of those things you feel you may never recover from. Below is a story about my Mother Shirley, she was truly a beautiful soul and unique character. She is the love of my life.

http://lebomag.com/what-my-mother-gave-me/

I have learned many lessons about life and loss, and how time is so precious. I promise to see all family, both of our families from here on out. My fear of flying I will deal with, there are loved ones to see. I fly home Friday for a memorial dinner in honor of my Mother.

I also wish my dear Mother in Law Julie a very Happy Birthday. I have the best in-laws and I cannot wait to see them soon, even if it means bringing them to us in Texas. As I work on my goals and plans it is so very important to spend time with loved ones, family and friends. I will keep in touch better going forward. 

In the time since 2014, no matter how challenging things got, I never gained a pound. I stayed on my goals and accomplished a lot of new goals with my writing and my weight loss and fitness goals. I was on it, until the last few weeks. I fell off program for a few weeks, and life and loss showed me how incredibly human I am. I know I have put on a few pounds, and as soon as the movers arrive with our stuff and my scale I will post exactly how much weight I have gained. My blankets I collected are being delivered at the end of June. I plan on looking for more charities to assist in my new home.

So here I am,  A die-hard Californian in Texas and embarking on day one today. No more treating my body like it is a trash can, back to honoring this body as the temple it is. It is the home where my soul dwells and I will treat it with the respect it deserves.

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I will keep this short and sweet, as I begin anew in another new home. I can say today I have met two new friends, and learned a lot about my new community. I plan on posting what I plan to do as I move forward, including diet and my benderfitness workouts. I also plan on starting a Youtube channel as I work towards my goals in my new home. I am very proud to say I finally got my book Camellia in Snow into the famous Book Soup on the iconic Sunset Strip, so LA I will be returning. This was a goosebumps moment indeed.

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For now, hello Texas I embrace you with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for this chance to begin anew. I found my first Texas tree, and how unique is it? It looks like an open hand reaching out for the heavens. I plan on treating my life with the same reverence, and making it my mission to help people more than ever.18838877_10155246030878617_1431367025370470149_n

 

 

 

INJURY AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES

Happy Saturday to all. I am about to drink this delicious Cinnamon Dunkin Donuts coffee with my ThinkThin Protein Bar. Yesterday after my run at the park we discovered they are opening a brand new Trader Joe’s right next to the park. That is such a game changer for me. I can go run on the track at the park, and shop for a healthy dinner at my favorite grocery store. I love Trader Joe’s.17105711_10154962767403617_1649281781_n17125017_10154962776603617_308116148_n

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We bought the coffee at Target, and we did a little shopping after my run and walk. I was so hungry so we stopped at Jersey Mikes, and we each had a mini Turkey Sub on whole wheat. It was so delicious and satisfying and 12 points. A little high considering it was a mini but it was really delicious and worth it. I had plenty of points for the day so all was well with the world. 17105402_10154962763878617_739443869_n (1)

We stopped at the famous Formosa and took a few selfies. The Formosa is a Hollywood Landmark and I am so sorry to say has recently closed. The Formosa was known for being a place where the stars went late nights for drinks and Chinese Food. 17101914_10154962763633617_643638916_n

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I am at my lowest weight since I began my blog at 159 lbs, and I decided for fun to try on some workout pants and a few dresses at Target when I was there. I remember right before I started my blog and weight loss journey I tried on clothes at this same Target location, and they had the two-way mirror. I remember how devastated I was about how I looked, and I admit going back in that same dressing room gave me a lot of anxiety. I still have issues with body image and I don’t always realize how far I have come. I don’t think I will shop for clothes there again.

The dresses were large size and they seemed to be more than one size too big. The workout pants were a little big, and the small tank was just right. In that same rear view mirror I saw my upper arms and I realized I lost a lot of muscle since I injured my rotator cuff. I need to find a way to detail my workouts and tone my arms without injuring my shoulder any further.I admit I hurt it pretty bad, and I am not healed. At the same time I want to continue on.

I do my workouts four days a week after work and I would prefer to do the same workouts each time for at least a month, and then switch it up. I am reaching out to Melissa Bender at Benderfitness to see what she thinks I should be doing. I felt a lot of those same feeling I felt years ago in that very same dressing room, This time I felt like a failure because my arms were so strong and lean and now with my injury I am starting all over in that area. I need to get it back. 

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Moving forward. I am going to figure this out and heal and get my strength back. I am getting small but so many of my goals are about so much more than my size and the scale.  I have fitness goals, and a fitness bucket list I wish to tackle. I am always thinking ahead, but I also know it is about the daily work. I have a lot of hard work to do, one day at a time. I will continue with my training schedule that includes my workouts, my walks, my runs, and my yoga. Today is work, walking, and a workout tonight.

We tend do be our hardest critics. I will try to lighten up on myself and keep at my schedule and my goals. One day at a time. I practice kindness but not on myself, that still needs to change after all of these years. I will look to the beauty of the trees for inspiration. They are strong and graceful despite the storms that come their way. The are the ultimate survivors and our original mentors. I will pay attention and emulate their lessons.

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Happy Saturday,

Rose

 

WEIGHT LOSS MILESTONE

16387009_1393904893988306_2621029889834396704_nMy weigh in day is on Monday. I am working so hard, and I really get excited for weighing in. This week I finally made it into the 150’s, a milestone I have been chasing for over a year. I finally broke my long time plateau with Weight Watchers Online and I lost 9 lbs in a little over a month. That is 10% of my body weight.

I lost my initial weight between the summer of 2013 and 2016 and than the scale just stopped moving. I continued to work hard on my fitness and I continued to eat healthy but nothing could get the numbers to go down. I even kept off every pound through an ongoing crisis. I never gave up nor will I ever give up. One day I will write about the crisis I am in, but for now I keep all of that private.

I can officially say I am 24 lbs from my goal weight of 135 lbs.

Cue Happy Happy face.
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I CHEATED ( this is what happened)

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

Marilu Henner

The dreaded scale after the holidays, how many of you faced it today? I did, and I gained five pounds. I knew I put on a few pounds so I felt there was no reason to avoid the scale. Better to know now, as I begin anew in 2017 with my weight loss and fitness goals.  One of the reasons I feel this happened because I went so extreme on my diet for five months.  than I ate whatever I felt like eating off and on in between Thanksgiving and New Years. I did not plan to eat with abandon, it just happened. I am human.

My plan for my next 10 lb charity is to deliver the blankets I am collecting for the homeless to the Midnight Mission when I lose 10 lbs and finally make it into the 150’s. 159 I am coming for you.

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I am here to tell you one or two cheat meals are ok, but every day cheating for a few weeks left me feeling as crappy as the food I ate. I thought maybe I would feel the joy of the holidays if I indulged, I worked every holiday and I was trying to find my joy elsewhere. This year the holidays lacked sparkle for me. I am here to remind you and remind myself that food is not the answer to happiness. A little moderation is better than an all out binge. It left me feeling empty and not healthy. I felt bloated, ill and my stomach and joints felt off kilter. It did not bring me the joy I was seeking, it did the opposite.

Marilu Henner got it right on the nose, but I was lucky I only gained five pounds since Thanksgiving. Now I have to back track a little, but no complaining. I got this. Lesson learned for the future. Back to the 80/20 rule. Eat healthy almost all the time, but leave room for occasional treats, of course within portion control. 

Life is not linear; you have ups and downs. It’s how you deal with the troughs that defines you.

Michael Lee-Chin

Back to the drawing board, as I sketch the 2017 I envision. I need to do some grocery shopping and I am reading health magazines for ideas. I am on day three of Melissa Bender Fitness 30 day Challenge. ( I am behind so I am doing one round of day two and one round of day three so I can be in sync with Melissa.I am also going to join her and work on my flexibility.  Here is the link. I got 2017 by the collar and I am showing this year whose the boss. Who is with me? Let’s do this. 15870575_10154786151473617_1135422458_n

http://www.benderfitness.com/2017/01/muffin-top-meltdown-body-weight-exercises-to-burn-fat-strengthen-your-core.html

 

CHASING GOALS

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.

Tony Robbins

Hello to all and a very Happy Wednesday. I have been thinking a lot about this blog, my goals, and what I wish to accomplish as I move forward. This summer is my three year Anniversary, I have lost a lot of weight and kept every pound off. I have helped numerous charities, and started a fitness journey that has taken me beyond anything that I could have expected. My book was published, I was in a Richard Simmons video, and my story made it into a few websites. In the process I met lifelong friends and have been inspired by all the stories of people crushing their personal goals. I have done all this through a move to San Francisco, and back to Los Angeles and kept my optimism through a tough personal crisis. I could never have done any of this alone, and a huge shout out to all of my mentors, friends, and family.

Here begins the new chapter. I am all in my 6 month clean eating challenge with no cheat days until my 50th Birthday which falls on December 21. Summer solstice to the winter solstice. I admit there have been a few days when all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in a tub of cake batter, but I have resisted. I have broken my plateau and my weight is now 166. 

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I have really exciting news to announce, but I am trying to wait until it happens before I say what it is, but I will say it is a milestone in my life. A personal goal was accomplished, and I am giddy as a school girl. 

I have a giving friend who has been down lately, and I hate to see her sad. I suggested we meet once a week to have coffee, write down our goals for the upcoming week and discuss how we feel. We have been doing this for three weeks now and I can honestly say it has worked just as much for me as it has for her. She has started a new opportunity and she has also returned to playing a sport she is passionate about and has missed dearly. For me it has helped me set new goals as I move forward. I am still in a personal crisis, but it is much better now that we are back in Los Angeles. I am crushing my weekly goals and I feel extra motivated and inspired.

Two months in my clean eating challenge and here is the workouts I will be doing for the next six weeks. Thanks Melissa Bender Fitness for always pushing and inspiring me and the masses. Today is day 3 for me. Melissa is a new Mom to baby Maverick and I could not be happier for her.   http://www.benderfitness.com/2016/08/postpartum-beyond-6-week-workout-challenge-week-1-day-3-cardio-day.html

I also am knee deep in planning my next Charity. I will explain all in a future post but here is who I am helping next. I am planning an exciting event. https://www.facebook.com/TheMidnightMission/?fref=ts

http://www.midnightmission.org/

It makes sense since this charity is very similar to my first charity back in October, 2013 with The Monday Mission. I went to skid row with My trainer Mike, his girlfriend Maria, and my friend Courtney and her boyfriend to feed the homeless.  We donated food courtesy of Chef Jessica of Seasons 52. This photo was before I lost my weight, and the beginning of my journey. You can read about that experience here. http://mychangeforaten.com/middle-of-the-night-monday-night-mission-musings/

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So that somewhat catches me up to today, almost the end of the summer 2016. One of my goals is to get back to posting daily here. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook. Have a wonderful day, Namaste’ and keep crushing those goals.

https://www.facebook.com/MyChangeForATen/

https://www.instagram.com/mychangeforaten/?hl=en