Tag Archives: never give up

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I FINALLY WEIGHED IN, (here is what happened)

 

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I like to consider myself unique. I believe in nature vs nurture. I believe my soul comes from somewhere else and this body is just the shell in which I walk my days. Or so I convinced myself.

And then there is home and you. Not the California home I claim as my own, but the city where you raised us. Cleveland, Ohio and a magical childhood despite the struggles, but isn’t life a magical trip? The hardest part of it all is loss. Coming home is truly bittersweet, full of celebration tainted with the sour taste of regret.

My first love, I have been your reluctant twin, believing I am an original when in reality I am just a carbon copy of you. Different but so much the same. You were beauty and fire married with humor and light. I am just the prism reflecting your existence.

I cry uncle, I cry when I don’t want to cry, I cry wolf. I cry.

Birdsong reminds me there is yet another plane to catch, the one thing I should have done long ago. I like to believe you will be flying on the wings of my plane. Drinking Dewars and soda with a Jane Austen novel
In hand; cussing at the flight attendants and causing a beautiful raucous.

In memory of my best friend, My Mother

 Shirley Bruno.

These are the times that try men’s souls.

        Thomas Paine

That quote really speaks to me, ever since we left Los Angeles for San Francisco in the autumn of 2014 my life has been a roller coaster. So many twists and turns that I am surprised I am still standing. After the move to San Francisco my husband James was laid off, a sudden move back to LA, my Mother passing away and another move to Houston would have broken the strongest person indeed. But here I am, sitting in Houston, Texas drinking water and Starbucks in the public lounge of my apartment building and I lived through it all. Here I am, a little worse for wear; with a damn cold and a damaged soul. As soon as my body heals ( my heart will take more time), I plan to get back into my workout and running routine. I plan to jump back into my goals even though I feel at times there is a brick sitting on my chest. Losing a parent is no joke, it is like there is life before the loss and life after. I often wonder if I will return to my jovial self, I often wonder how do people heal from such a tremendous loss. Through it all I made my lowest weight, 159 lbs, and after my Mother passed away I gained 7 lbs which brings me back up to 166 lbs. Time to get back to work. My Mother passing was the only time I fell off the diet wagon, it was the only time I slipped up and gained weight.

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I just returned from my first trip home to Cleveland, Ohio in years. I went for my Mother’s Memorial party and I was reunited with family and my hometown friends. I ain’t gonna lie, this weight loss blogger was not thinking about my healthy diet for the last few months. In Cleveland I think I was on the hometown food tour. My Mother’s Memorial party was a beautiful tribute to everything she was about. My sister Frankie, and her friends Shar and April pulled it off like pro’s and my sister Gina and Rosita out did themselves on the sauce, meatballs, pork and spaghetti. It was wonderful seeing my sisters, my nieces,and my childhood friends and I hope to see them more often. My original girls, my sisters, my loves. Frankie, Dona, Gina, and me. The girls I look up too, all four of them. Each one inspires me to be better and do better just like Mom did.

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So here I am again, navigating yet another home. I have so many goals, and accomplishments I am most proud of to date. I will jump back in and get to work. The first step was stepping on the scale, and I am happy that the damage was not too extreme. Time to begin anew in a brand new city. To be strong and emulate the strongest female I have ever knew, my Mother.

 

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END OF A CRISIS

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Good afternoon to all, I am still on west coast time, but I am adjusting. For those of you who follow my Facebook page you know my husband James and I just made the trek from Los Angeles to Houston, Texas. This was not an east decision, but we both decided the opportunity for his career was too good to pass up. Here I am again in yet another transition, and this one was particularly tough because as we were moving my Mother passed away.  A lot to deal with in such a short time. For us, ever since we left Los Angeles in 2014 for San Francisco everything has been a bit more challenging, but we got through our crisis. The hardest thing we faced was a sudden loss of a loved one, it is one of those things you feel you may never recover from. Below is a story about my Mother Shirley, she was truly a beautiful soul and unique character. She is the love of my life.

http://lebomag.com/what-my-mother-gave-me/

I have learned many lessons about life and loss, and how time is so precious. I promise to see all family, both of our families from here on out. My fear of flying I will deal with, there are loved ones to see. I fly home Friday for a memorial dinner in honor of my Mother.

I also wish my dear Mother in Law Julie a very Happy Birthday. I have the best in-laws and I cannot wait to see them soon, even if it means bringing them to us in Texas. As I work on my goals and plans it is so very important to spend time with loved ones, family and friends. I will keep in touch better going forward. 

In the time since 2014, no matter how challenging things got, I never gained a pound. I stayed on my goals and accomplished a lot of new goals with my writing and my weight loss and fitness goals. I was on it, until the last few weeks. I fell off program for a few weeks, and life and loss showed me how incredibly human I am. I know I have put on a few pounds, and as soon as the movers arrive with our stuff and my scale I will post exactly how much weight I have gained. My blankets I collected are being delivered at the end of June. I plan on looking for more charities to assist in my new home.

So here I am,  A die-hard Californian in Texas and embarking on day one today. No more treating my body like it is a trash can, back to honoring this body as the temple it is. It is the home where my soul dwells and I will treat it with the respect it deserves.

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I will keep this short and sweet, as I begin anew in another new home. I can say today I have met two new friends, and learned a lot about my new community. I plan on posting what I plan to do as I move forward, including diet and my benderfitness workouts. I also plan on starting a Youtube channel as I work towards my goals in my new home. I am very proud to say I finally got my book Camellia in Snow into the famous Book Soup on the iconic Sunset Strip, so LA I will be returning. This was a goosebumps moment indeed.

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For now, hello Texas I embrace you with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for this chance to begin anew. I found my first Texas tree, and how unique is it? It looks like an open hand reaching out for the heavens. I plan on treating my life with the same reverence, and making it my mission to help people more than ever.18838877_10155246030878617_1431367025370470149_n

 

 

 

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INJURY AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES

Happy Saturday to all. I am about to drink this delicious Cinnamon Dunkin Donuts coffee with my ThinkThin Protein Bar. Yesterday after my run at the park we discovered they are opening a brand new Trader Joe’s right next to the park. That is such a game changer for me. I can go run on the track at the park, and shop for a healthy dinner at my favorite grocery store. I love Trader Joe’s.17105711_10154962767403617_1649281781_n17125017_10154962776603617_308116148_n

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We bought the coffee at Target, and we did a little shopping after my run and walk. I was so hungry so we stopped at Jersey Mikes, and we each had a mini Turkey Sub on whole wheat. It was so delicious and satisfying and 12 points. A little high considering it was a mini but it was really delicious and worth it. I had plenty of points for the day so all was well with the world. 17105402_10154962763878617_739443869_n (1)

We stopped at the famous Formosa and took a few selfies. The Formosa is a Hollywood Landmark and I am so sorry to say has recently closed. The Formosa was known for being a place where the stars went late nights for drinks and Chinese Food. 17101914_10154962763633617_643638916_n

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I am at my lowest weight since I began my blog at 159 lbs, and I decided for fun to try on some workout pants and a few dresses at Target when I was there. I remember right before I started my blog and weight loss journey I tried on clothes at this same Target location, and they had the two-way mirror. I remember how devastated I was about how I looked, and I admit going back in that same dressing room gave me a lot of anxiety. I still have issues with body image and I don’t always realize how far I have come. I don’t think I will shop for clothes there again.

The dresses were large size and they seemed to be more than one size too big. The workout pants were a little big, and the small tank was just right. In that same rear view mirror I saw my upper arms and I realized I lost a lot of muscle since I injured my rotator cuff. I need to find a way to detail my workouts and tone my arms without injuring my shoulder any further.I admit I hurt it pretty bad, and I am not healed. At the same time I want to continue on.

I do my workouts four days a week after work and I would prefer to do the same workouts each time for at least a month, and then switch it up. I am reaching out to Melissa Bender at Benderfitness to see what she thinks I should be doing. I felt a lot of those same feeling I felt years ago in that very same dressing room, This time I felt like a failure because my arms were so strong and lean and now with my injury I am starting all over in that area. I need to get it back. 

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Moving forward. I am going to figure this out and heal and get my strength back. I am getting small but so many of my goals are about so much more than my size and the scale.  I have fitness goals, and a fitness bucket list I wish to tackle. I am always thinking ahead, but I also know it is about the daily work. I have a lot of hard work to do, one day at a time. I will continue with my training schedule that includes my workouts, my walks, my runs, and my yoga. Today is work, walking, and a workout tonight.

We tend do be our hardest critics. I will try to lighten up on myself and keep at my schedule and my goals. One day at a time. I practice kindness but not on myself, that still needs to change after all of these years. I will look to the beauty of the trees for inspiration. They are strong and graceful despite the storms that come their way. The are the ultimate survivors and our original mentors. I will pay attention and emulate their lessons.

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Happy Saturday,

Rose

 

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WEIGHT LOSS MILESTONE

16387009_1393904893988306_2621029889834396704_nMy weigh in day is on Monday. I am working so hard, and I really get excited for weighing in. This week I finally made it into the 150’s, a milestone I have been chasing for over a year. I finally broke my long time plateau with Weight Watchers Online and I lost 9 lbs in a little over a month. That is 10% of my body weight.

I lost my initial weight between the summer of 2013 and 2016 and than the scale just stopped moving. I continued to work hard on my fitness and I continued to eat healthy but nothing could get the numbers to go down. I even kept off every pound through an ongoing crisis. I never gave up nor will I ever give up. One day I will write about the crisis I am in, but for now I keep all of that private.

I can officially say I am 24 lbs from my goal weight of 135 lbs.

Cue Happy Happy face.
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I CHEATED ( this is what happened)

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

Marilu Henner

The dreaded scale after the holidays, how many of you faced it today? I did, and I gained five pounds. I knew I put on a few pounds so I felt there was no reason to avoid the scale. Better to know now, as I begin anew in 2017 with my weight loss and fitness goals.  One of the reasons I feel this happened because I went so extreme on my diet for five months.  than I ate whatever I felt like eating off and on in between Thanksgiving and New Years. I did not plan to eat with abandon, it just happened. I am human.

My plan for my next 10 lb charity is to deliver the blankets I am collecting for the homeless to the Midnight Mission when I lose 10 lbs and finally make it into the 150’s. 159 I am coming for you.

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I am here to tell you one or two cheat meals are ok, but every day cheating for a few weeks left me feeling as crappy as the food I ate. I thought maybe I would feel the joy of the holidays if I indulged, I worked every holiday and I was trying to find my joy elsewhere. This year the holidays lacked sparkle for me. I am here to remind you and remind myself that food is not the answer to happiness. A little moderation is better than an all out binge. It left me feeling empty and not healthy. I felt bloated, ill and my stomach and joints felt off kilter. It did not bring me the joy I was seeking, it did the opposite.

Marilu Henner got it right on the nose, but I was lucky I only gained five pounds since Thanksgiving. Now I have to back track a little, but no complaining. I got this. Lesson learned for the future. Back to the 80/20 rule. Eat healthy almost all the time, but leave room for occasional treats, of course within portion control. 

Life is not linear; you have ups and downs. It’s how you deal with the troughs that defines you.

Michael Lee-Chin

Back to the drawing board, as I sketch the 2017 I envision. I need to do some grocery shopping and I am reading health magazines for ideas. I am on day three of Melissa Bender Fitness 30 day Challenge. ( I am behind so I am doing one round of day two and one round of day three so I can be in sync with Melissa.I am also going to join her and work on my flexibility.  Here is the link. I got 2017 by the collar and I am showing this year whose the boss. Who is with me? Let’s do this. 15870575_10154786151473617_1135422458_n

http://www.benderfitness.com/2017/01/muffin-top-meltdown-body-weight-exercises-to-burn-fat-strengthen-your-core.html

 

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CHASING GOALS

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.

Tony Robbins

Hello to all and a very Happy Wednesday. I have been thinking a lot about this blog, my goals, and what I wish to accomplish as I move forward. This summer is my three year Anniversary, I have lost a lot of weight and kept every pound off. I have helped numerous charities, and started a fitness journey that has taken me beyond anything that I could have expected. My book was published, I was in a Richard Simmons video, and my story made it into a few websites. In the process I met lifelong friends and have been inspired by all the stories of people crushing their personal goals. I have done all this through a move to San Francisco, and back to Los Angeles and kept my optimism through a tough personal crisis. I could never have done any of this alone, and a huge shout out to all of my mentors, friends, and family.

Here begins the new chapter. I am all in my 6 month clean eating challenge with no cheat days until my 50th Birthday which falls on December 21. Summer solstice to the winter solstice. I admit there have been a few days when all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in a tub of cake batter, but I have resisted. I have broken my plateau and my weight is now 166. 

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I have really exciting news to announce, but I am trying to wait until it happens before I say what it is, but I will say it is a milestone in my life. A personal goal was accomplished, and I am giddy as a school girl. 

I have a giving friend who has been down lately, and I hate to see her sad. I suggested we meet once a week to have coffee, write down our goals for the upcoming week and discuss how we feel. We have been doing this for three weeks now and I can honestly say it has worked just as much for me as it has for her. She has started a new opportunity and she has also returned to playing a sport she is passionate about and has missed dearly. For me it has helped me set new goals as I move forward. I am still in a personal crisis, but it is much better now that we are back in Los Angeles. I am crushing my weekly goals and I feel extra motivated and inspired.

Two months in my clean eating challenge and here is the workouts I will be doing for the next six weeks. Thanks Melissa Bender Fitness for always pushing and inspiring me and the masses. Today is day 3 for me. Melissa is a new Mom to baby Maverick and I could not be happier for her.   http://www.benderfitness.com/2016/08/postpartum-beyond-6-week-workout-challenge-week-1-day-3-cardio-day.html

I also am knee deep in planning my next Charity. I will explain all in a future post but here is who I am helping next. I am planning an exciting event. https://www.facebook.com/TheMidnightMission/?fref=ts

http://www.midnightmission.org/

It makes sense since this charity is very similar to my first charity back in October, 2013 with The Monday Mission. I went to skid row with My trainer Mike, his girlfriend Maria, and my friend Courtney and her boyfriend to feed the homeless.  We donated food courtesy of Chef Jessica of Seasons 52. This photo was before I lost my weight, and the beginning of my journey. You can read about that experience here. http://mychangeforaten.com/middle-of-the-night-monday-night-mission-musings/

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So that somewhat catches me up to today, almost the end of the summer 2016. One of my goals is to get back to posting daily here. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook. Have a wonderful day, Namaste’ and keep crushing those goals.

https://www.facebook.com/MyChangeForATen/

https://www.instagram.com/mychangeforaten/?hl=en

 

 

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HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE


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With but few exceptions, it is always the underdog who wins through sheer willpower.

Johnny Weissmuller

                                                     Ready to run and work out.
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Happy Summer solstice to all. Today is the day I begin my six month program, and since I am from Cleveland Ohio I will use the slogan of the underdog championship Cleveland Cavaliers. #All in.

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Today is the day I begin my six month challenge and countdown to my 50th birthday. I was born on the winter solstice, and that is six months away. The last year and a half has been a series of ups and downs, transitions and new beginnings. My plan is to get to my 50th birthday being the best me inside and out. I have a lot of work to do. My husband James does not think I can pull it off. So I will take inspiration of the underdogs of the world and work even harder and with more heart to make it happen. 

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The plan:

My diet will be completely clean. I can tell you now, there will be no cheat days. Quick overview of my diet will be almost gluten-free, lots of fruits and veggies, minimal grains and lean protein. I will not be consuming sugar and I will not be eating sweets of any kind. The only grains I plan to eat are oatmeal and Ezekiel bread in moderation and occasional beans. I will eat healthy fats and no processed foods. I will still consume dairy but rarely will I eat cheese. I will do separate post on diet. My protein bars will just be an occasional treat and not my daily breakfast.

Here is a sneak peek at my grocery haul.

 

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I am following the Four F’s. Frugality, Fitness, Food, Fashion.  It can be done and I plan on making this next six months count and I plan to make it happen on a budget. Being financially strapped should never hold you back.  We are f’n fabulous.

This running jacket was less than 20 bucks and found at Marshalls.

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The fitness.http://melissabenderfitness 

Melissa Bender Fitness is fabulous and free and I will be sharing my workouts as I go. Here is month one, today is day one.

http://www.benderfitness.com/2013/02/my-first-bikini-competition-prep-month-1-workouts.html

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I am also beginning my running training again.

http://www.benderfitness.com/2015/05/5k-training-for-new-runners.html

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When the scale starts moving, I will be doing charities again.

and again….NO CHEAT DAYS

My husband James doesn’t think I can pull it off. He thinks the summer, the fall and all the special occasions are occasions to eat. Whatever, the more you doubt me, the harder I will work.

I am all in. I am after all from Cleveland Ohio. Congrats to my hometown Cleveland Cavaliers.

Happy Summer Solstice

Namaste’

Rose

 

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NOT A NUMBER


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“Life is like music on a scale, shifting up and down. When your life is over, your song has been written.”
― Peggy Toney Horton

This quote is not about the same scale I am talking about, but it is a true example of the ups and downs of life and living as well as the ups and downs of weight loss. How do you measure your worth? Are you unworthy on days when the scale tips upward? These are the questions I often ask myself as I continue on my quest of weight loss and fitness.

Today is weigh in Wednesday, and I gained three pounds. Does that mean today I am a failure?

I could go on and on about the fact I ate more sodium than usual over the holiday weekend, or the fact I got a nasty virus from my husband James that sidelined me for almost a week. I could go on and on about that one piece of cake I decided to indulge in, or the fact that I work nights and sometimes I find myself skipping meals.

I could go on and on for the reason I gained the dreaded three pounds. Or I can just say my scale is a fickle bitch and toss is aside. 

I would like to believe I have many more lyrics to compose in this life of mine, many more stanzas to the poems that make up my purpose as I walk this planet. My weight has no bearing of the reason of my existence. It is easy to self sabotage,  to self bash and follow a pattern of self destructiveness. Or I can choose the other race course, lace up my hot pink running shoes and just keep running towards my goals; even though my flat surfaced race course sometimes feels more like an extreme obstacle with barbed wire hurdles to jump over.

Am I a failure or a fighter? 

This week I begin again, as it seems I am constantly doing as of late.  My elusive weight goal is far in the future. I will fight my mythical hurdles, take them on one step at a time, one mile before the next and try to get there even if it seems to be taking forever. Barbed wire? Bring it on.  I will get there.

After all my song is far from over.

Jump that wall, run that mile, the scale does not get to decide how far you will go. Numbers don’t hold you back, only you can do that. Keep running towards your goals.

Namaste’

Rose Bruno Bailey

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WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

I saw this unknown quote today and it made me laugh.

I put the scale in the bathroom corner, and that is where the bitch stays until she apologizes.

Author unknown

Good Morning. I woke up with a scratchy voice and it is taking me some time to get moving. and on top of that my computer is fighting me this morning. Doing a simple blog post is a challenge, so this post will be short and sweet.

I got on the scale, and my weight remained the same. I will take it, it is better than gaining weight. Weight loss isn’t a fluid process, there are a lot of ripples on the way to your ultimate weight. I did a calculation yesterday on my weight loss app lose it, and it said I can hit my goal weight of 140 by September 2016 if I only eat a thousand calories a day. Yeah, I doubt that’s happening.

But I still feel great. I am back on track and again today is my second run of the week. I posted the link to my running schedule from Benderfitness.com on my Facebook page. This computer is not cooperating today.

I promised to write about all the resources to help you lose weight and get fit when you are financially strapped, and I am working on that for a future post.

Yesterday’s run was amazing, and I love that runner’s high you get. Yes, my throat feels scratchy and my lymph node a little swollen, but I think I can fight whatever bug is trying to bite me. Coffee first, always coffee first. Today may be a second cup kind of day. You run the day, even if you have to run it on a little caffeine. xo2d8bb3d203079c6b72bc2705f6ff1412

Namaste’ 

Love and Light

 

 

 

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MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU

 

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Good Morning to all. Today is my run day before I head to work. I am trying to work Monday through Friday (sometimes on Sunday) and I realized I need routine to overcome my obstacles.  I was thinking about workout and running inspiration as I begin anew, overcome adversity and bloom the way any Rose should.

Just like everyone else, my life presents me with challenges and sometimes its easier to use them as an excuse to slack of on my running, workout routine and goals. At the end of the day, I feel even worse because I let go what I truly love to do because of a few of life’s problems. The routine should help me get back on track. 

I love to look for inspiration, and Disney movies can be very inspirational to me. I am not the only one who loves Disney films. If you noticed there is a Disney princess obsession going around. You cannot sign on to Facebook without seeing silly yet fun quizzes telling you which Disney princess you are. Woman of all ages play these games for fun, myself included. Who doesn’t love a Disney movie of a silly Disney online quiz.  I have many favorites, but my top ones are Beauty and the Beast and Mulan. Both movies really move me with their positive messages.

As someone who is trying to overcome adversity and be strong, and accomplish fitness goals I have just dreamed of, Mulan is the perfect Disney Role Model and Hero. Watching this film gives you the feeling that you can accomplish anything if you try and persevere. All you need is passion and a strong will. The problems will always be there, they will come and go but happiness will linger if you just stay the course. Sometimes you may surprise yourself and others how strong you really can be, and you never know how it will change you for the better.

Here are 5 reasons Mulan inspires in fitness and in life.

Mulan is unusually independent for her time, and does not wish to be married off even if it means sacrificing tradition. She wants authentic real love. She is not fake and she stays true to herself.

Mulan is unselfish, even though she did not wish to be married off even it was what her family wish for, she jumps in to help her father because it is a cause she believes in. She knows her Father is too old and injured for war. She dons his uniform, disguises herself as a man and takes his place at training knowing the consequences of being caught could be dire. She believes in family honor.

Mulan is a Disney Princess with real strength. She does not give up during                             training, and even though she is struggling she keeps trying until she gets it right. If           you were ever a beginner in fitness you can completely relate to how awkward she is. She surprises herself in others and overcomes her challenges.

 Mulan overcomes adversity combining her intelligence with her physical strength             and saves China not for recognition but because it is the right thing to do.  She gets her  Prince and the respect of her country in the process.     

 Mulan is humble. She just saved China but all she wants to do it to return home, and          offer the gifts of the Emperor to her Father and family.

I’ll Make a Man Out of You is on my running playlist. I can picture Mulan close to giving up, and than she just gets that last-minute life line of motivation to keep going and she succeeds. This is how I imagine I will be as I start all over in my weight loss and fitness quest. Giving up is not an option. 

I want to be bad ass like Mulan. 

How about you?  Are you ready to defeat your metaphorical Huns?  

Let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns./Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?/You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met,/But you can bet, before we’re through/Mister, I’ll make a man out of you.mulan.0.0

Namaste’ 

Rose