Tag Archives: diet momentum

WEIGHT LOSS MILESTONE

16387009_1393904893988306_2621029889834396704_nMy weigh in day is on Monday. I am working so hard, and I really get excited for weighing in. This week I finally made it into the 150’s, a milestone I have been chasing for over a year. I finally broke my long time plateau with Weight Watchers Online and I lost 9 lbs in a little over a month. That is 10% of my body weight.

I lost my initial weight between the summer of 2013 and 2016 and than the scale just stopped moving. I continued to work hard on my fitness and I continued to eat healthy but nothing could get the numbers to go down. I even kept off every pound through an ongoing crisis. I never gave up nor will I ever give up. One day I will write about the crisis I am in, but for now I keep all of that private.

I can officially say I am 24 lbs from my goal weight of 135 lbs.

Cue Happy Happy face.
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EASY ITALIAN CHICKEN

Hello to all and Happy Saturday.

I am busy, and sometimes it leaves little time to cook. I do love to cook, when I have time to be creative in the kitchen I can concoct some delicious recipes. On other days I try to cook something that takes little time and preparation. Let’s face it, we are busy but we still wish to eat healthy and delicious home cooked food. I tend to cook a lot of soups and chicken dishes, foods that help me stay within my smart points on Weight Watchers.

One of my go to recipes is a one pot chicken dish, Italian style. Have you heard of Dump Cakes? It is when you just throw all the ingredients in a pan and bake and voila you have cake. This is my version but with chicken.  It is absolutely delicious and low smart points if you follow Weight Watchers. I usually serve it with mashed cauliflower. One pot meals make eating healthy and staying within calorie and point range seamless. I buy frozen chicken because I am on a budget, but the recipe can be used with fresh chicken as well. I hardly call it a recipe, it is so simple to cook. Healthy home cooking on a budget doesn’t have to be complicated.

My portion of one piece of chicken, mashed cauliflower, sauce and one small red potato was 10 points.

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You will need:

I bag of frozen chicken

Two tablespoons olive oil

Vegetables of your choice cut into pieces. I used Portobello mushrooms, zucchini, red and white onions, yellow squash, red potatoes, green and red peppers, and about 8 cloves of garlic. 

Two cans crushed tomatoes (low sodium)

Half can of water

salt, pepper, oregano

In large roaster, add two tablespoons of olive oil. Than add chicken, vegetables and potatoes and garlic. Finally, add two cans of crushed tomatoes, garlic, and season with just a little bit of salt, pepper and oregano. 

Mix all ingredients and cover, baking for over an hour at 375. It depends on your oven, mine took a while. I always just check the chicken. The package of frozen chicken says to bake it for 30 minutes, but that is not correct for my oven. My chicken took over an hour.

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This is a simple recipe, and it makes the most delicious sauce. It is all done in the oven. The Mashed Cauliflower is so simple as well. 

Boil Cauliflower until soft. I just added two tablespoons of lite butter and used a potato masher. I spooned in some of the tomato sauce for flavor and mixed with pepper, oregano and a dash of sea salt.

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Happy Saturday. Food that is simple leaves more time to get active. Have a wonderful day.

Rose

CRISIS CHALLENGES

It is Thanksgiving week and it never escapes me how lucky I am, despite being in what seems to be a long-term financial crisis. I keep dieting and exercising through my challenges. This week we had yet another disappointment, but I am not going to allow myself to wallow in my woes. I took a moment yesterday, cried in my coffee over conversation with my dear friend Mary. I shared with her some things that concern me about being in a financial crisis as a weight loss blogger. My friend is a fixer type of friend, she is completely giving and the kind of person who tries to come up with solutions to your issues. She is amazing and I am lucky to have her around the corner. I am thankful indeed for all of my friends, family, my husband James and our beloved Siamese cats Rascal and Spanky. I am thankful for life.

I decided to do a quick post and share my thoughts and concerns about being in a financial crisis and how it affects my blog, These thoughts are ridiculous to me when I type them up, but they are my feelings. Being in a financial crisis puts a limit on a lot of spending. If you know me, you know I am more interested in helping others, in reveling in nature than I am about material possessions. With that said, everyone likes nice things, and I am not immune to that fact. If you follow fellow weight loss bloggers and well as fitness bloggers it seems a lot of the things they post I cannot post because of my situation. I feel like I do not measure up. This is not a pity statement, rather a way to get it out and share and to come up with other ways to be a motivational weight loss blogger during my lean time. I love that I said lean, because despite my crisis, I can say I accomplished my lowest weight on my blog. I did it even though there were times I wanted to dive head first in a vat of chocolate cake batter. It has been five months without a cheat day, and I have one more month to go. My workouts are at www.benderfitness.com which are all free. My equipment is weights, a mat and again a pair of worn shoes. Here are my silly concerns and how I am moving past them. I keep moving.a02b9032-b84b-415f-b804-150a63cc676414705636_1268334023212061_7219886695795970552_n

  1. My running shoes have seen their best day. I almost did not go to the last Richard Simmons Slimmons class out of embarrassment. I shared this in a private group, and the beautiful support that came my way through the Slimmons family taught me I am not an embarrassment. Someone even kindly offered to mail me shoes his wife has never worn. That touched me but it was not why I posted it, I just felt the need to vent. I am grateful to him and the whole Slimmons family, and as I type I am sporting my proudly worn Asics and my new Nike’s that were gifted to me. I am proud of all my steps. I am proud where these shoes have been, and where I am going.15073486_10154639242963617_6508711910709230700_n15078580_10154628087623617_8586468506395100455_n
  2. Instagram is filled with photos of people posting work out gear. I love nice work out clothes too, so I love liking the photos. I cannot do that now, and that is OK. I will find other ways to share my journey. So I am at my lowest weight on my blog and I am not clothes shopping. It will come soon enough, perhaps when I hit my ultimate weight loss goal. For now I keep keeping on and staring as trees as I run in my worn shoes. This gives me something to work for and something to look forward to. Perhaps a fun photo shoot when I finally reach that elusive weight loss goal of 135 lbs. The new clothes can wait, I am refocusing on the work. It is all about the hard work, the health and the wellness. And of course the connections with people.12592393_10153807006948617_2827822076568560780_n
  3. Races. I have done a few and I wish to do more. They are not cheap.  I  hope to run in a race in the new year. In the meantime, I will maybe do a virtual race and ask my followers to run along with me virtually. In 2015 I ran across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and that was such a high on national 4/20 day. I can find another place to do a run here in LA, some place that really is special. As long as I keep running in my worn shoes I will reach my dream destination. I am a work in progress.unnamed-15
  4. Recipes and Food. Lately I have fallen off the wagon with cooking and shopping for groceries. We are keeping our diet simple, and I eat a lot of my meals at work. I tend to rely on the same fast and healthy options. It does not leave me much time or money to make elaborate recipes and that is OK. We have food, we eat healthy, we are grateful. Tonight I am off and trying a couple of healthier autumn treats. I am going to bake apples and make a baked sweet potato with just a few pecans, marshmallows and banana. I will post these budget friendly recipes. I can do one or two new recipes a week. I love shopping at thrift stores and finding treasures on a dime. This is my vintage Cuisinart food processor that I made black bean brownies with. 13731689_1191796280865836_7205266471736481432_n
  5. My Blanket Drive. I wanted to hold a boot camp to raise blankets for the Midnight Mission in LA for the Homeless. This is my next charity. I ended up sick and I have an injured rotator cuff so this felt like a failure to me. The game may have changed, but the prize is still the same. I am collecting blankets for the homeless and I will continue to do so from now until I deliver them to The Midnight Mission in December. It is getting Cold here in LA and the blankets are needed. Here are my thoughts on blankets for the homeless.http://mychangeforaten.com/1750-2/ I am getting to my goals despite the issues and nuances of life. My best friend Melissa Bender called me Mulan today. I am a warrior fighting my metaphorical huns. Much love and light, I am thankful for you. Happy Thanksgiving to all. Remember to treat your body like a temple but still enjoy life. It is the holiday so it is totally acceptable to indulge and share delicious fare with family and friends. Try to watch your portions and maybe get out for a walk or run. xocirque11

ADJUST YOUR SAILS

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Tonight the party I was supposed to work cancelled, and I had an impromptu night off. I never got the call and went into work anyway.  Life throws surprises all the time. Instead of being upset that I went all the way there, I adjusted my sails and walked home and was happy to have the night off. I ended up making Black Bean Brownies and hanging out with my husband James and our two Siamese cats, precious time with my busy schedule. Life has been hectic these last few months but I am so happy and grateful to be back in Los Angeles. A simple night, tomato soup and my loves made me very happy.

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That got me thinking, what is the game changer when it comes to weight loss and fitness success? Why do some people gain the weight back and other people are able to get to their goals and maintain weight loss and fitness? I believe I accidentally figured what it takes, or I figured out what is keeping me on the path to weight loss and fitness success.

I gear my workouts to all the changes that my life brings me. Life is not constant, but I adjust my sails and ride the waves to the destination of my goals. I realized the beginning of a weight loss journey is the easiest, but keeping the momentum going takes work and takes consistency. It take a willingness to adapt to the changes that life brings.

I have been through a lot, a lot I write about and a lot I have kept private. I started this blog and my weight loss/fitness/philanthropic journey in 2013 with the help of a trainer that introduced me to fitness. I was having success with my LA lifestyle and it was amazing having someone tell me I can do it. I was able to help various charities and lose weight in the process. It was smooth sailing for me.

Rose Bruno Bailey Weight Loss

In  autumn 2014 my husband James and I moved to The San Francisco Bay area, a move that came on rather suddenly. There was a big fear that I would quit, that I would regress and lose all I was working on. A rational fear that everything I worked hard on would fall apart.

All of a sudden my lifestyle completely changed. I was living in a brand new city, working a lot more than I did in LA, and I no longer had a trainer pushing me. I had to adjust to my new life. It took a few months but I did find my footing in the bay area,I did some charities and met some amazing friends. I ran in a 5K with my boss and made my best time in a race. I adjusted my journey to my new reality. I did not give up, I just worked with my new lifestyle. I started Melissa Bender Fitness workouts and I realized I can do this. I believed and stayed consistent in my endeavors, despite the challenges of a brand new life. There were a lot more temptations in San Francisco, a city known for food but throughout the challenges I continued on and I am grateful for my experience there.

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We recently decided to move back to Los Angeles, and again my whole lifestyle went through another transition, another new job with different hours. Yet last week I hit my lowest weight since I began my journey. What is it that has kept me going? 

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I didn’t quit, I am persistent and consistent. I have adjusted my workouts, my running, my diet to fit my new lifestyle. I find myself being too tired in the morning to work out since I am working later at night than I am used to, so I do my workouts after work.  Who said workouts cannot be done at 11 pm? Are there rules to working out? If so I am breaking them and making my own rules and it is working for me. I started a six month countdown to my December Birthday with no cheat days for the whole six months, and stayed consistent to my benderfitness workouts. I continue to meet wonderful people that inspire me.

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My advice to anyone beginning a diet and exercise program is to be prepared to change and evolve because life brings on changes and transitions. Every time my life dramatically changed paths, I adjusted my route to stay on course. I am successful despite the constant changes in my life. I am proud to say through it all I never gave up. My life continues to change, and I have changed inside and out and continue to adjust my sails to the whim of the mighty wind that is uncertainty. Bring it on life. I am a master of challenges and change.

VIBE OFF POSITIVE ENERGY

unnamedThe other day two young guys gave me a random compliment, they saw how spirited I was and they told me they were “vibe-ing off my energy.” It is a new word and I like it. Think about it, we are all energy based. Positive not only attracts positive but it also negates negative energy and can turn it around. A bad day can become worse with negative thoughts, it spirals out of control the minute you decide today is a bad day. So if you tell yourself today is a good day it will be. It may seem simple and cliché’, but it is also absolute truth and the law of the universe. If you see someone loving life, make sure to “vibe” off their energy. Their positive energy does not mean their life is perfect, it just means they find the beauty of living despite the obstacles life throws at us all. After all you are alive, so how about acting fully alive.

My blog became challenging two years ago when I found out were relocating to San Francisco. I knew I would no longer have a personal trainer at my convenience and I was afraid I would undo all of my hard work. On top of that I loved LA, I did all my charities in LA and I didn’t think the bay area was a fit for me. I did make it work while I was there for what I call my year and a half sabbatical, and my blog continued in the time I was living there. I even made some life long friends and mentors, hit some fitness milestones and volunteered and helped raise food for the hungry at The Second Harvest Food Bank. I survived a personal crisis and a spontaneous move back to LA recently.

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Through it all I woke up each and every day not only with a smile for myself, but for everyone I encountered along my travels. It helps you cope when you just slow down and remember to first be kind first. Sometimes it takes effort when all you wish to do is hide under the covers, but keeping a positive attitude even on the hardest days has helped me survive. In hindsight if I would have kept to myself and sulked, I never would have met the many wonderful bay area souls that have inspired me and touched my life.

It has been six months since we arrived back in LA, and three months since I began my countdown until my 50th Birthday. In this six months leading to The Winter Solstice I am eating completely clean and not cheating or having a cheat meal. It is a huge undertaking, considering we tend to want to splurge when life throws us disappointments. Yesterday was such a day, I am hoping to have my book signing here in LA at an esteemed book store but I let some time lapse from the first moment I corresponded with the book store due to my move back and all of the commotion of getting a new job and settling in. I am not going to jump to conclusions, but I may need a back up plan if this particular book store turns me down. Again I have to reach into my little bag of positive tricks and truck on forward.

This leads me to how often we reach for food to dull the ache in the pit of our stomach when things do not exactly go our way. It is not hunger we feel, but that need for comfort and soothing that we get when we treat ourselves. My husband James said “let’s get cake, no one will know.”  I regress, I will know. Back to the four agreements, “always be impeccable with your word.”

So no cheat day for me. This is teaching me to face my feelings and deal with them in a non food manner. I work in a world famous deli with the most amazing food and homemade bakery so this is extra difficult for me but I am standing by my commitment. I am a work in progress, moving forward despite everything that comes my way. I am leaning on my energy and attitude to keep me going. That and morning coffee.

They say life does not have a dress rehearsal, and this is it. So I continue to vow to be grateful and joyful an to not let obstacles chase off my dreams, and I vow to keep going.

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I am vibe-ing off the energy of the beauty of being alive. 

Namaste’

Rose

 

It’s a Journey

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”
― Roman Payne

If you have followed my journey you know this is a blog a about dancer/writer poet who gained a lot of weight and decided to combine weight loss and charity and write about the process and journey. You can find my beginnings here.  http://mychangeforaten.com/about/

For me this blog has become life changing. It has literally opened up a whole world of possibilities and endless opportunities and introduced me to lifelong friends and mentors. We are only held back by the shackles we place upon ourselves. We have the key to let go of what holds us back, the fears and blocks that keep us from living the life of our dreams. Life is too beautiful not to be happy in the living.

This is a weight loss/fitness blog where I sponsor charities as I lose weight and it will continue to be that as I continue on my journey. I am 30 lbs away from my goal weight and on my six month challenge of no cheat days until I arrive at my 50th birthday on The Winter Solstice on December 21st. Here I am now proud of my accomplishments but always moving forward. I lost over 50 lbs and helped numerous charities and found a love of fitness and yoga similar to my love of dance and the written word. I am on a fitness quest as well as a weight loss journey, a quest to be the best me inside and out. This will not cease when I hit my goal weight. Lifestyle equals a life journey.unnamed-2

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I will continue to share my fitness goals and my mentors and role models, my weight loss journey and diet including more recipes.I am in the process of planning my next charity event. I plan to start writing about a subjects that are related to my journey, subjects about inspirations of life and living. I have slacked off writing here because I let life get in my way and got lazy with my writing and overwhelmed with the nuances that sometimes stop us in our tracks. I plan to write more often like I did when I began, and be more transparent in the process. I am painfully emotional and human, and from now on I will write more and stress less about life’s issues.

My life is beautiful because I am in love with living and all creatures of the universe. With that said a beautiful life is not a perfect life. I have issues like every other human that walks the earth. I am too far from family, and finances are a struggle but I am living despite of my problems and always moving forward. One of my favorite quotes from the film The Shawshank Redemption is

“get busy living or get busy dying”

I am living, loving life here in LA. Almost 50 and grateful for every single person in my life and every single moment that got me here. Are you getting older or living a beautiful life? You have the power to choose.

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

 

 

 

 

MASTERING THE ART OF FRUGAL COOKING

“Life itself is the proper binge.”
Julia Child

It was the movie Julie and Julia that inspired me to write a blog. I was living in NYC and already on my way to really delving into my poetry and writing. I saw the movie and fell in love. I felt such a connection to the film.  I was living in NYC but I have always dreamed of Paris. NYC was my first dream and I was living in the midst of it. In the film Julia Child seems to just eat up life, and I totally related to her attitude and outlook of the beauty of being alive. The food in the film, and the locations were definitely the co-stars. I admit I have seen it over a 100 times. Food does really bring people together.

When I moved to LA I tried to write a few other blogs but I was lacking definition. I did not wish to have a poetry blog since I hoped to one day have a book. That dream did come true and you can find my poetry book here. https://www.amazon.com/Camellia-Snow-Rose-Bruno-Bailey/dp/1515347141 

Back to blogging. As I settled in LA I put on a lot of weight, and I finally realized it and decided to do something about it. Here is my blog story http://mychangeforaten.com/about/

Update to now, I am down almost 60 pounds, I have been through a few moves and I am back in LA stronger than ever. I am on a quest to lose more weight and I am also on a fitness journey and as soon as we settle in I will be back at doing charities.  I am not cheating on my diet until my 50th Birthday December 21st. I started on the summer solstice and I am continuing until the winter solstice. I got this and I am going strong. Committing to no cheat days is really a game changer for me. We have been through a lot and this personal commitment has made all the difference for me. I have taken to cooking at home because of finances. Finances will not stop my goals. I am mastering the art of frugal healthy cooking, for my fitness goals. Last night I made cauliflower and zucchini nachos, inspired by delish.com. I think you will absolutely love them, The addition of the rotel tomatoes is a game changer I believe. These gluten-free nachos are my new go to recipe when I feel I need a semi splurge and they are so easy and economical. I think Julia Child would approve.

Bon Appetit’

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Inspired by a recipe on delish.com

I head of Cauliflower

i cup of sliced zucchini

3 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil

Half packet of gluten free mild taco seasoning

sprinkle of garlic powder

1 bag cheddar/jack cheese shredded

1 can mild Rotel tomatoes (makes the recipe)

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half jar of mild salsa

1 sliced avocado

Greek yogurt or sour cream

Pre-heat oven to 425

Spray a large cookie sheet with cooking spray. Spread out sliced cauliflower and zucchini, coat with extra virgin Olive Oil, and half packet of mild taco seasoning and garlic powder and mix and coat generously.

Bake for 20 minutes

Add bag of cheese and bake another 5 minutes.

Add one can of Rotell tomatoes, generous amount of salsa.  I put on greek yogurt and avocado for each personal serving.

This was the most amazing dish and so yummy. You could add meat or meat substitute if you wish.

I can see why they call the website delish. Thanks Delish. com and of course Julie Child for inspiring me to do this dish.

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SUMMER TO WINTER SOLSTICE COUNTDOWN

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Napoleon Hill

 

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A few months ago I posted my intention to do a ten month countdown to my 50th Birthday on December 21st. I planned to go hard-core on my diet, my exercise and yoga goals. Then life happened, we decided to move suddenly and transition got in the way of training and my countdown goal.

I love a good deadline, I actually thrive when I am challenged. In the beginning of this blog I went hard-core and it worked, I thrived and lost the bulk of my weight. Now I find myself within transition, finding my footing back to what works for me. 

I have decided to begin my countdown to my 50th Birthday after all. I will begin on June 20th, which is the summer solstice and I will keep going until I get to my goal date of my birthday which falls on the winter solstice on December 21st 2016. 

I am settling in Los Angeles and figuring things out here in the city where I began this blog. Are things still crazy and chaotic? Of course they are, that is one of the reasons I am doing this challenge. I need it now more than ever.

I will be doing a charity every ten pounds, but I am not putting a time limit on how fast I will lose my weight. The goal is to get healthier, eat cleaner, and be in the best physical shape for me at this point in my life; all while still helping others in the process. I wish to be the at my personal best inside and out when I turn 50.

I will be sharing everything I am doing to get there, almost as personal as reality television. I plan to be honest and authentic. I hope you can join me as I travel on my latest journey, I can use cheerleaders to help me as I take my first baby steps on this new path. One never travels completely alone. We are all in this life together. I learned that through this blog and I am grateful to all the beautiful souls that now grace my days as dear friends. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

To be happy you must own who you are, treasure who you are and do not measure your life in numbers, You can do anything, be anything if you believe in the light that burns in your soul. 

I look to the trees for inspiration, they are our ancient mentors. Standing tall and graceful, weathering storms and waiting patiently to bask in the sun.

I was born on the shortest day of the year with the least amount of daytime, but it was that darkness that brought me into the light. Like the trees, I wait patiently to have my moment in the sun. I  will continue to work hard to make that moment happen.

Love and light,

Rose Bruno Bailey

 

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NOT A NUMBER


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“Life is like music on a scale, shifting up and down. When your life is over, your song has been written.”
― Peggy Toney Horton

This quote is not about the same scale I am talking about, but it is a true example of the ups and downs of life and living as well as the ups and downs of weight loss. How do you measure your worth? Are you unworthy on days when the scale tips upward? These are the questions I often ask myself as I continue on my quest of weight loss and fitness.

Today is weigh in Wednesday, and I gained three pounds. Does that mean today I am a failure?

I could go on and on about the fact I ate more sodium than usual over the holiday weekend, or the fact I got a nasty virus from my husband James that sidelined me for almost a week. I could go on and on about that one piece of cake I decided to indulge in, or the fact that I work nights and sometimes I find myself skipping meals.

I could go on and on for the reason I gained the dreaded three pounds. Or I can just say my scale is a fickle bitch and toss is aside. 

I would like to believe I have many more lyrics to compose in this life of mine, many more stanzas to the poems that make up my purpose as I walk this planet. My weight has no bearing of the reason of my existence. It is easy to self sabotage,  to self bash and follow a pattern of self destructiveness. Or I can choose the other race course, lace up my hot pink running shoes and just keep running towards my goals; even though my flat surfaced race course sometimes feels more like an extreme obstacle with barbed wire hurdles to jump over.

Am I a failure or a fighter? 

This week I begin again, as it seems I am constantly doing as of late.  My elusive weight goal is far in the future. I will fight my mythical hurdles, take them on one step at a time, one mile before the next and try to get there even if it seems to be taking forever. Barbed wire? Bring it on.  I will get there.

After all my song is far from over.

Jump that wall, run that mile, the scale does not get to decide how far you will go. Numbers don’t hold you back, only you can do that. Keep running towards your goals.

Namaste’

Rose Bruno Bailey

WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS STORY

Weight loss success story?

What does it mean to be a weight loss success story? I feel I am not that yet, even though I lost over fifty pounds. I am up seven since my move back to LA, but that is ok. I got this.

They say life happens, but in my opinion if you leave life to chance it will one day happen to be over; because they also say life is short.

These cliche’s may be true, or they may not be. In my opinion you have to make it happen, and be the architect of your own life. Make a sketch how you wish it to be, imagine it the way you want,  build it using solid foundation and keep adding on and reinventing yourself. You can choose to be happy or choose to be miserable.

Today I was looking through my things, as you know I just moved. I lost something very sentimental to me. My first instinct was to cry and get upset, and let my emotions and the fact that this material possession is forever gone to me. Then I realized even though it held such sentimental value, it doesn’t take away my happiness or my memories. It is just a possession. Then it made me think of a famous quote from the film Fight Club 

The things you own end up owning you.

The quote could be another cliche’ or it can be taken as wisdom about life and material possessions and what is really important. Either way it gives me solace as I move on with my day. Even though I lost something dear to me, and gained seven pounds since I hit my lowest weight on this blog; I  will still choose happiness instead of misery. I will move forward with gratitude, happiness, hope and love.

This brings me again to the idea of being a weight loss success story. I consider myself a work in progress at the half way mark. I am proud of my accomplishments but I am more excited what is to come. So even though my original before pic was when I weighed well over 200 lbs, I decided to take some new now before photos to track where I am at this very minute and where I am going. I may be only 7 lbs higher than my lowest weight on this blog but the move and slacking off on my routine has made me a little softer. I am ready to work it again. I am drawing up my plans as I type. I am the architect of this so-called life, and I choose happiness and gratitude. 

Much love and light. I am off for a run and to kitty sit for my friend Mary. Along with my new before pics, here are a few photos of Noodles and Peaches. I may just sit in the jacuzzi tonight. 

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