Tag Archives: challenges.

Weekly Workout Schedule

Monday/Wednesday/Friday

Tuesday/Thursday

Happy Friday, I made it to day five of week one. I am on it not no matter what comes my way. I got some bad news this week, not health bad news but the kind of bad news that can stop you in your tracks and derail all of your goals. I’m telling you now that’s not happening this time. I’m on the road to being an after, no matter what life throws at me. I will duck and dodge those pesky curveballs. I will follow through with all my commitments and I will do it with a smile.  I’m planning to visit the horse sanctuary soon and do everything I can to give back. I won’t let life’s disappointments get in my way or take my joy.

It all starts with this blog, my health and gratitude to be able to focus on my goals. I’m alive and able. My workout schedule Monday through Friday is two rounds of my scheduled Melissa Bender Workouts plus 30 minutes of cardio, finishing off with the rowing machine. On Saturday and Sunday it’s yoga ( ten sun salutations) and cardio on Saturday. This is my plan going forward and I will not falter. The plan is to switch it up as I get stronger.  I’m just speed walking for my cardio for now but eventually I will add running. Another commitment is to post Monday through Friday and stay on top of all of my goals, including Monday weigh in. I  admit I’m sore but I’m actually so excited about this new journey.

I’m meal prepping and eating healthy vegan food, counting  my WW points and staying away from vegan junk most of the time, especially on my work days. Are you with me? What obstacles get in your way?  Let’s stop letting that happen. Week one is a success and week one sets the bar for week two! We can choose to be happy, healthy and fit. Midnight workouts make me happy.
Love and light, Rose

Midnight workouts. Get it done on your schedule.

 

 

MOBILE MEDITATION

Happy Tuesday. Today is day two of my workout challenge and my weight loss journey, I fell off the wagon again. My weight is 177 lbs, I will keep at it until I get it right.  My workout yesterday was so inspirational, it really made me wonder why I ever stopped in the first place. I started with my outdoor cardio for 40 minutes, did two rounds of my Benderfitness Monday/Wednesday/Friday workouts,(thanks to my bff Melissa) and ended with ten minutes on the rowing machine. My muscles felt the shaking that happens after a good workout. Day one sets the bar for day two. It was like coming home. It’s truly mobile meditation.

If you live in a mild climate or the weather is nice where you are I highly recommend doing some of your workout outdoors. There is nothing like being one with nature, wildlife and all the other walkers and runners getting their miles in. As I began walking, my eyes caught a woman walking a dog with three legs. My heart felt like it would just burst as I flashed her a big smile and a hand to my heart gesture as she smiled back at me. Through the course of my cardio I saw a young man with Down’s syndrome enjoying his jogging, a runner stop his pace to assist a family out of a swan boat, wildlife basking in the beauty of a Texas autumn day. You do not get the same experience from a treadmill. 

Finally I was finished, and I sat for a moment on a park bench and met the three legged dog Frisker. His fur parents are rescuers and I was able to snap a few shots of my muse for my day.

Frisker keeps going, he doesn’t let bad days or the fact he’s running on three legs stop him. If he can do it, so can I and so can you. Today is National make a dogs day but yesterday Frisker made my day. We are all connected. You definitely don’t get that type of rush indoors. I plan to get outside daily for some or all of my daily workouts. It’s definitely the kind of natural high five that keeps you motivated to do it again on day two.

What I got out of my  Monday was the beauty of life and living, nature and the kindness of people and animals, and best friends who come to your rescue even from afar. I also learned you may have challenges but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up. There’s power in consistency. There’s power in trying despite how hard it may be.

Keep on keeping on and pay attention, there is inspiration everywhere. 

Love and Light Rose

 

 

 

 

Focus on Fitness

I’m always starting over, but that’s ok. I will continue to start over until I get it right. There is no failure, everything is a learning lesson. For me losing weight is not linear, it’s a zig zag line of ups and downs. Part of the problem is I’ve been focusing on the numbers and not so much on fitness. The scale isn’t the problem, it’s me. So how do I correct my past mistakes and get on the road to weight loss and fitness success like I was when I started this blog in 2013?  Let’s start with health and wellness, and less emphasis on numbers.

I weighed in today at 175 lbs. That is 5 lbs up from what I was a few weeks ago, but here’s the deal. I did crazy things the day before weigh in to help me weigh less. I do not recommend doing anything that’s unhealthy to get a better number on weigh in day. You are not a number, repeat that firmly and loudly. You are not a number. 170 lbs probably was not my true weight anyway, since I fasted and cut water on Sundays. I have a hard time admitting I did such unhealthy steps just to get a better number on Monday when I stepped on the scale. Repeat this too, health is your number one priority. I weighed 170 lbs and I ended up with a kidney infection probably due to dehydration. It’s just not worth hurting yourself over. I had eating disorders when I was younger, and it’s quite obvious those old ghosts still haunt me. It’s ok, I’m haunting them back. Here’s a big boo to my ghosts of eating disorders past, and how I’m going to get it right finally. 

I will weigh in once a week, it’s important to know where you are but not obsess with the number on the scale. It’s sounds contradictory, but for me I need to know where I stand. No more doing unhealthy steps the day before weigh in, Sunday’s with be healthy vegan food. No fasting, no water cutting, it’s business as usual. I will post in the following weeks my food plan, always vegan but always needing to portion control and stay accountable. What I put in my temple should be fuel not trash, of course within balance. I’ve discovered when my balance is off I tend to binge eat. 

I asked Melissa from Melissa Bender Fitness to help me with personal workouts to get me started, and my workouts will be Monday-Friday and cardio daily. I’m going to focus on moving more and obsessing less. I’m going to find the joy I once had in exercising and quit procrastinating. It’s not that hard. My thanks to Melissa Bender Fitness for helping me on my new journey.

That’s it for now. Today I begin again in gratitude because I’m healthy enough to be able to begin again. Remember this, it’s really all you need to get started. My new emphasis will be wellness, fitness, strength, agility, flexibility and my mind and body connection. Weight loss will be the bonus. A quick mention for the volunteering I promised for Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary, I’m still planning to go. My husband James is doing a lot of traveling and as soon as that settles we will be volunteering together. He asked me to wait for him, so I’m giving him time to follow through with his appointments first. 

Love and Light to you. Take care of your temple, nurture your body and soul. If something does not serve you do not do it. You are beautiful, but beauty on the inside is so much more sustainable. Let’s get healthy and well so we can tackle our goals and take on the world. That’s a beautiful thing.

Rose

 

 

I REJOINED WW ONLINE( after two week break)

Before I get into my post I wanted to address Tropical Storm Imelda. We are in Houston and we are safe. I pray for all of those around me affected by another devastating storm. I’m so grateful to the rescuers, the businesses and churches opening their doors for shelter.  Thinking about my friends at Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary. A big shout out to Mattress Mack. I would love to meet him someday. He always ways opens his door to those in need. 

I was doing so well with my food, I was down 13 lbs since joining WW online. Two weeks ago I believed I could go it without WW so I let go of my membership. In that two weeks life happened, it always does. One comfort food meal turned into another and all of a sudden I was out of control. I could feel my fear of food and my eating disorder issues creep back into my psyche. It took a pasta and vegan key lime pie binge, and the sickness I felt after to send me back to WW online. I rejoined at 2 am. 

I woke up with peace with food. I felt my support was there. I started tracking my day and I made healthy choices. I feel back in control despite the fact I went up 6 lbs in two weeks. Better to catch it now and begin the process of losing and getting fit before I gain even more weight. Healing in mind, body, and spirit and giving back. Those are my goals on this blog. I made a delicious tofu scramble with spinach and veggies, no oil. I split my whole grain Dave’s bagel with my husband. I ate, I’m satisfied and I have zero guilt. That’s worth every penny of my monthly WW fee if $19.99. Love and Light to all and  stay safe if you are in Houston. Rose

 

WEIGH IN WEIGHT GAIN

I was reading Mantra Wellness Magazine, (photo from the pages of the magazine). I opened the magazine and this was the first page. It totally spoke to me. I messed up, again. I gained 3 of the 13 lbs I lost. Here I am, facing the music and starting over.

Weight loss is a series of ups and downs. You begin all gun go until a holiday or other food related event comes along. All of a sudden you stop tracking and you promise yourself just one bad day. Then there’s leftovers, so one cheat day becomes two. Soon you have lost your momentum. I’ve been there when I was successful in my weight loss the first time around, and I’m there now at the beginning of my second weight loss journey. The key is to catch it, to own your slip up and get back on that weight loss wagon. Get on the scale, face it and get moving. I gained three pounds. My weight is currently 174 lbs. I’m still down ten, and I’m catching this now before I gain the whole ten back. I’m making like a GPS,  I’m yelling recalculating. Here’s how I’m going to get back at it and stop the gain cycle and continue on my wellness/weight loss/fitness journey part two.

The first thing is to access the damage, weigh yourself. You need to know where you are.It’s easy to be in denial. Better to cry over a few pounds now. I weighed myself and tracked my weight. 

My next step is to track all my food, and as a ww member I’m going to try to be in blue dots. That means stay within my healthy range of points, period. I noticed my weight went up when I didn’t track.  When I did track I went over my points. My day begins with 24 oz of water with lemon, and a banana and an apple or whatever fruit I have. I let my body digest it before my daily one cup of coffee. Then my breakfast. Lately I’m eating a garden of life plant based protein bar with my coffee. Hey, I’m on the run and it’s only 5 pts. I’m going to make oat and peanut butter protein balls too. If you are vegan I would love to know some fast and healthy breakfasts that are your favorites. 

Being accountable here helps, so I plan to try to blog daily and try to get better sleep. I have two Siamese cats, and the minute our heads touch the pillow they decide it’s time to party. We have to get better sleep, that’s number one. 

Move daily. Non negotiable. That’s my only fitness rule right now. I’ve been spotty with my fitness so I’m making this one goal to start. Move my body vigorously for 45 minutes to 1 hour daily. I will be more specific later, but that’s my rule. It could be running, walking fast, Melissa Bender Fitness workouts etc. I just have to move it for 45 minutes to 1 hour. I started this on Labor Day. Plus I’m going to also add sun salutations, stretching and legs up a wall pose for circulation. 

Eat clean 80/20. The majority of my vegan diet must be Whole Foods plant based with processed vegan food only occasionally. Tracking every bite. I stopped this and I gained three pounds. It’s ok, I’m painfully human. I may try to not eat past 8 pm, but this may be difficult with my work schedule. I’m going to try. Time to revisit vegan meal prepping. 

So this is my restart of my restart. We are still planning to go to Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary soon, definitely this month. Ive been asked by my husband James to go when he can go. I do plan to visit and volunteer regularly after our first visit. There’s a lot going on in our life but this is something I can’t wait to do. I’m also helping a friend with a bake sale for her dog that needs surgery. I will post more about that later. I’m baking vegan goodies!! I believe we are here to be of service to others. Sometimes stress gets in the way, I’m working on ways to destress naturally.

I’m off to get my daily exercise in. I want you to know the road to goal does have potholes, and an occasional thunderstorm or two that can throw you off track. The sun will shine again, just begin traveling your path as many times as need be. The destination will always be there. Love and Light. Rose

 

LOSING WEIGHT IS A PROCESS

Losing weight is a process, in the beginning it’s easy but sticking it out takes extra willpower. Life gets sticky, and it gets in the way. It’s easy to fall of the wagon and stop the healthy patterns you’ve developed in the beginning of your weight loss journey. You will know when this happens, and when you realize it nip it in the bud. 

This week was challenging to say the least. Nothing worth mentioning just adulting and all that comes with it. I didn’t track for days. I almost went for vegan whoppers at Burger King on nights when work was slow and stressful. Waitressing has bad days and bad weeks, it’s normal but when you go into work and stand around it makes you question things. In the end it’s is the way of working in a restaurant, good days and bad days. It always seems like bad days come when you are stressed. Time to reboot and recalculate, like a gps. 

So today I recalculate, I’m trying to check my mood and mindset. I’m back to tracking. I’m planning for Monday and a better and more productive week. Writing my weekly goals on Sunday night. I’m going to try to stress less and be happy in the moments, even the mundane moments that drive me mad. No reason to slip up on my weight loss goals because of a bad week. It’s a marathon and not a sprint, this road to weight loss goals. 

Love and Light

Rose

GOALS

Happy Friday to all. As I start anew I’m starting to set goals again. Im fighting some fatigue this second time around, I work late and usually I don’t get to bed late. I may do a lot of my workouts at 11 or 12 midnight since I’m so wired after work. My fatigue only hits me in the morning when I wake up, so prepping meals and giving myself time to wake up and have a morning routine before work is easier for me and my schedule. 

I am so blessed to have Bethany as my trainer, and to have Melissa Bender Fitness videos and guidance. I may join WW online to help me with my food monitoring. It’s a great program and it takes the fear away of food being good vs bad, it’s all food. As a vegan I’m trying to make sure I get everything I need, but WW will help with little splurges within reason. It helps keep me from binges. I’m signing up Monday. Today I weighed in at 183 lbs. 

My trainer Bethany and Melissa Bender Fitness are the experts,  but as a former dancer and this being my second go at fitness, I do have a lot of knowledge about proper form and the body. I’m beginning my studying for the American Council of Exercise group exercise certification, and I hope to take the exam in the fall. After being in the Richard Simmons Video, and taking two classes with him weekly I was so inspired. I thought, this is what I love, I can do this to. So my plan is to pass the exam and teach upbeat, inspirational dance aerobics classes like he did. I’m a dancer and this is in my heart and soul, it’s the one thing missing from my life. Once a dancer, always a dancer. I will leave the heavy exercise to the professionals, and do that only as a student and not a teacher. My plan is to learn to teach all the areas I excel in, stretching, dance, etc. I’m really excited about this new chapter and I have quite a lot of work to do to get there. 

I have chosen a new charity to get involved with once I lose ten pounds. I’m going to first lose 3 more pounds since I went up 3 lbs since Easter. So when I reach 170 lbs I will be volunteering alongside my trainer Bethany at a local non-profit near and dear to my heart. I will announce this Monday, the day I join WW online and do another weigh in. We also plan to register for a 5k locally and take a yoga class. I’m dying to study ballroom but unfortunately that’s not on my budget at the moment. More goals to come but I think this is a good head start.

It’s Mothers Day weekend and I wish everyone who is a Mother a Happy Mothers Day. That includes all the wonderful women who take care and love their companion animals. It’s your Mothers Day too. Happy Unconditional Love Day. Mothers Day and May 21st are not easy days for me, since I lost my Mom May 21st 2017. I send love and hugs to my sisters who feel exactly like I do, and all of you who also lost a beloved Mother. My Mother would expect me to keep going and never give up on my goals. She would always say to keep trying, all they can say is no. 

Love and Light 

Rose

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose