Tag Archives: challenges.

GOALS

Happy Friday to all. As I start anew I’m starting to set goals again. Im fighting some fatigue this second time around, I work late and usually I don’t get to bed late. I may do a lot of my workouts at 11 or 12 midnight since I’m so wired after work. My fatigue only hits me in the morning when I wake up, so prepping meals and giving myself time to wake up and have a morning routine before work is easier for me and my schedule. 

I am so blessed to have Bethany as my trainer, and to have Melissa Bender Fitness videos and guidance. I may join WW online to help me with my food monitoring. It’s a great program and it takes the fear away of food being good vs bad, it’s all food. As a vegan I’m trying to make sure I get everything I need, but WW will help with little splurges within reason. It helps keep me from binges. I’m signing up Monday. Today I weighed in at 183 lbs. 

My trainer Bethany and Melissa Bender Fitness are the experts,  but as a former dancer and this being my second go at fitness, I do have a lot of knowledge about proper form and the body. I’m beginning my studying for the American Council of Exercise group exercise certification, and I hope to take the exam in the fall. After being in the Richard Simmons Video, and taking two classes with him weekly I was so inspired. I thought, this is what I love, I can do this to. So my plan is to pass the exam and teach upbeat, inspirational dance aerobics classes like he did. I’m a dancer and this is in my heart and soul, it’s the one thing missing from my life. Once a dancer, always a dancer. I will leave the heavy exercise to the professionals, and do that only as a student and not a teacher. My plan is to learn to teach all the areas I excel in, stretching, dance, etc. I’m really excited about this new chapter and I have quite a lot of work to do to get there. 

I have chosen a new charity to get involved with once I lose ten pounds. I’m going to first lose 3 more pounds since I went up 3 lbs since Easter. So when I reach 170 lbs I will be volunteering alongside my trainer Bethany at a local non-profit near and dear to my heart. I will announce this Monday, the day I join WW online and do another weigh in. We also plan to register for a 5k locally and take a yoga class. I’m dying to study ballroom but unfortunately that’s not on my budget at the moment. More goals to come but I think this is a good head start.

It’s Mothers Day weekend and I wish everyone who is a Mother a Happy Mothers Day. That includes all the wonderful women who take care and love their companion animals. It’s your Mothers Day too. Happy Unconditional Love Day. Mothers Day and May 21st are not easy days for me, since I lost my Mom May 21st 2017. I send love and hugs to my sisters who feel exactly like I do, and all of you who also lost a beloved Mother. My Mother would expect me to keep going and never give up on my goals. She would always say to keep trying, all they can say is no. 

Love and Light 

Rose

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose

 

30 Day Challenge

Good Day to all. Today is the first day of my wellness journey 2.0. I’m really starting over this time. I choose now because a lot of the struggles and stresses are quieting down, and I’m open for change. Sometimes you must wait until you are ready to commit to change. This is that moment for me. 

I am vegan for ethical beliefs, and I do believe it’s the healthy way to wellness. With that said, I’ve been kind of a vegan junk food addict.  I am happy all of my fave vegan comfort food exists, but I’m taking on the Whole Foods plant-based lifestyle again. My plan is to eat completely clean for 30 days, no oil with limited salt and sugar. To be honest the sugar will just be in my coffee each morning, that’s it.

I have so many reasons why I’m doing a 30 day wfpb challenge. I feel ill, my stomach aches. I’m bloated. I feel for me vegan convenience food should be rare treats like any convenience comfort food. In 30 days I will have one cheat day after my weigh in and I will do another 30 day wfpb challenge. Stay tuned for what I will be eating with recipes. I’m just starting new on this blog and finding my footing again after a long time of not being consistent. I’m starting my cardio this week with yoga and stretching. Workouts will follow, and daily updates on my blog. 

One of my favorite vegan influences I follow is Tabitha Brown. She said don’t wait until you are sick to make changes in your nutrition. That really resonated with me, so let my 30 day challenge begin. It’s the perfect way to start again on my blog.

This blog will be all about wellness, weight loss, veganism, plant-based life, workouts etc. Charities and giving back won’t be featured here anymore. I’m launching a brand new sister blog for all of that goodness. 

Let my challenge begin. 

Happy Brand New Beginnings 

Love, light, and good health to you

Rose

 

 

 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Depression, I think I was depressed for a while. I’m trying to understand the idea of depression. I’m such a happy go lucky person, for me to be depressed is unheard of. The loss of my Mom, leaving my beloved Los Angeles and losing our cat; among other things left me with this void. It’s not something anyone can see, it’s like a numbness. In Los Angeles I was so alive, like life on steroids. Things here in Texas are much slower and with all of what happened I felt my vibration at an all time low. Time to choose to change and raise my vibration.

Recognizing it is the first step. Making goals again and being impeccable with my word is the second step. I am here, posting every single day. My computer crashed, but this time I make no excuses and I make it happen with my phone. I keep a food journal every single day. I can feel already changes in my body. I’m so happy to be back, this is just the beginning. I’m laying the basic groundwork for bigger goals. 

Do what you love, do all things with love. I treat others with love, I should do so with myself. That means never giving up and making the commitment to stick to starting over.

What do I love? I love to write so I keep writing and submitting my work. I want to be a healthy weight loss success story again, and I want to help others. I’m interested in motivational speaking sometime in the future.

After being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, I too want to teach classes. I’m a former dancer and I love dance as much as I love writing. My husband James paid for me to get my American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. With all that has happened I missed my exam, and I was so disappointed in myself. I hit an all time low with that one. 

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I was told I still have one year to take my exam. Do what you love. That’s my motivation for me going forward. Round two is underway and going strong. 

It’s time to study. Do all things with love, for yourself and for others. 

So much love and light.

Namaste’

Rose


 

 

WEIGHT LOSS THROUGH STRESS

Happy Friday to all. I’m doing a lot of soul searching and thinking this week. If you know me, I’m a firm believer of the law of attraction. This week seemed to spiral in the negative direction. Once we started to focus on something that happened early in the week everything just seemed to go downward. It’s like they say, if you wake up and stub your toe and believe it will be a bad day it will. You are what you believe. I’m trying to change that. Fall nine times, get up ten. 

Time to make like a GPS and yell recalculating as loud as I can. One thing that has been positive is I’ve stayed true to my word to blog and to stick to my weight loss and health regimen. I lost 5 lbs my first week and I’m very dedicated. I’m working out again. I’m taking my frustrations out on the treadmill.No matter what happens I’m not giving up. Goal or bust. 

We can’t change the outcome of certain circumstances but we can change our thought process. We even may find some clarity to take necessary risks with our future. Sometimes you have to just jump and see where you land.

Breathe in, breathe out 

love and light

Namaste’

Rose 

 

MINDSET

Happy Thursday to all. I’m still blogging from my phone. Not having a working computer is not a setback for me. I’m just adjusting to whatever tools I have on hand. I committed to blogging daily again, and I will do so no matter the obstacles. It’s really helping me stay on track with my food. I’m on it, I’m accountable, I’m not perfect, but I’m doing it every single day. It’s not easy to do this on the phone, the keyboard is sensitive so if things look less than stellar my apologies. 

Mindset. Even though I’m really doing great with my food I admit this week my mindset is struggling. So much stress this week since we got back, so much to think about and decisions to be made. I admit I’m completely overwhelmed and had quite a few crying moments this week. I’m trying to pull myself out of this quagmire I’m in. That means exercise and sleep. This week my sleep has been compromised and when you are fatigued you cannot think clearly. 

I had a chat with one of my dear friends. He reminded me how strong I am. He said for me to be able to stay so focused on eating clean is a big accomplishment. I have to admit he’s right. I’m staying the course, I did the standard American diet crime and gained the weight but that’s in the past. I’m getting back to being the person who started this blog; strong yet not perfect, but one who doesn’t give in or give up. 

Day seven since I’m back. Seven days at being accountable to my word. I love the book the four agreements and the quote from the author. I will leave you with this. 

Always be impeccable with your word. 

Don Miguel Ruiz

Love and light

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

 

 

HEALTHY VEGAN

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford

Starting over, how often do we do this again and again? I hit my lowest weight on this blog over a year ago, and then life took over my will power and drive. I have spent the last six months visualizing what I want going forward, but not yet grasping what I did before that gave me weight loss success. In essence I talked about starting over, but I let life still rule my will. Now it’s time I talk the talk again, and walk the walk. It’s never easy, life does keep throwing us curve balls; but it’s time I start playing dodge ball and dodging those damn obstacles to make it happen despite the challenges. Today I weighed in at a whopping 192.8, but I own that because I believe I can achieve my goals the second time around. That quote is my hubby’s favorite, and now mine too. I think I can.

If you follow my blog you know I have chosen a vegan lifestyle, This is for the animals, and the environment. Is it a journey finding how to lose weight again since I gained my weight back? Yes, it’s a brand new journey but I am a work in progress. I am living my most authentic self, staying true to my convictions.

This new journey has a learning curve but I am up for the challenge. In the beginning I ate a lot of vegan convenience foods. I love these alternatives and I will have them occasionally, but going forward I am planning a whole foods and plant based diet. Still vegan for the animals, but cleaner eating for me. It’s a win win. I can have those vegan alternatives occasionally as a treat, but my day to day diet will be clean. I lost all my weight eating clean, but this time I am vegan. I am relearning everything I did the first time around but with a compassionate twist. Today is day one, and I will be sharing everything I learn on this brand new journey. 

So I am back, back to daily blogging, back to being me one day at a time. We just flew in from Delaware and today we are grocery shopping and working out, and spending time with our Siamese cats. Today is a brand new day, and I am grateful to be alive to have the opportunity to start over. There are obstacles and challenges as always, but every time a curve balls comes my way, I will duck and keep going because I think I can. 

Love and light,

Rose

 

WEIGH IN AND WILLPOWER

“Take a lesson from the trees, watch the way they bend with each breeze, little victories.”

— Bob Seger

Good Afternoon.That quote totally resonates with me.  I lost 2 lbs, today I weighed in at 188 lbs, There has been much frustration on my end, struggling with my willpower that seems to wane in the evenings. I am almost there, but I need to tweak some issues with willpower. I am happy about the loss but I have to correct my inconsistencies. I started over weighing in a week ago at 190 lbs. I just need to work harder, period.

I am eating a plant-based diet and trying to have mostly raw foods when possible. There are moments when my husband James asks me to make him vegan comfort foods, and it can be hard to resist vegan Bolognese and vegan tacos when I am trying to eat as clean as possible. Those foods aren’t terrible, and they are definitely better than the meat alternatives; but for someone like me who is really having a hard time losing weight they are too high in starchy carbs and sodium. They are also the kind of foods we all tend to overeat.

I have been charting my calories on the LoseItapp and even with these little vegan cheats my calories never go over 1,600. I try to stay under 1,300. I don’t believe in full on cheat days, but working some foods into your calories without overeating. I can still do better and I will.

Today is a new day and a new week, I need to practice more mindful eating.  I am tweaking some things to see what works. When I started this blog 5 years ago I was not living a plant-based lifestyle, and I ate low carb and high protein. So this is trial in error for me. I am learning what works for my body, and doing tons of research. I will start posting what I am eating when I get on a roll and find out exactly what is working for me. This really is a brand new journey in more ways than one. Celebrate small victories and work a little harder each and every day.

Love and Light

Rose