Tag Archives: challenges.

WEIGH IN AND WILLPOWER

“Take a lesson from the trees, watch the way they bend with each breeze, little victories.”

— Bob Seger

Good Afternoon.That quote totally resonates with me.  I lost 2 lbs, today I weighed in at 188 lbs, There has been much frustration on my end, struggling with my willpower that seems to wane in the evenings. I am almost there, but I need to tweak some issues with willpower. I am happy about the loss but I have to correct my inconsistencies. I started over weighing in a week ago at 190 lbs. I just need to work harder, period.

I am eating a plant-based diet and trying to have mostly raw foods when possible. There are moments when my husband James asks me to make him vegan comfort foods, and it can be hard to resist vegan Bolognese and vegan tacos when I am trying to eat as clean as possible. Those foods aren’t terrible, and they are definitely better than the meat alternatives; but for someone like me who is really having a hard time losing weight they are too high in starchy carbs and sodium. They are also the kind of foods we all tend to overeat.

I have been charting my calories on the LoseItapp and even with these little vegan cheats my calories never go over 1,600. I try to stay under 1,300. I don’t believe in full on cheat days, but working some foods into your calories without overeating. I can still do better and I will.

Today is a new day and a new week, I need to practice more mindful eating.  I am tweaking some things to see what works. When I started this blog 5 years ago I was not living a plant-based lifestyle, and I ate low carb and high protein. So this is trial in error for me. I am learning what works for my body, and doing tons of research. I will start posting what I am eating when I get on a roll and find out exactly what is working for me. This really is a brand new journey in more ways than one. Celebrate small victories and work a little harder each and every day.

Love and Light

Rose

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED

Our cat Max was sleeping in his cat bed today, we call it his baby bed. We bought his bed for him months ago after we adopted him. It was a month after we lost our beloved Siamese cat Rascal when we saw an advertisement that someone was giving their Siamese cat away. We were not looking to replace Rascal, but I felt compelled to adopt this particular cat.  He was declawed on all four legs and something told me he needed us as we needed him.

Max has been a healing force in our lives and a friend to our other Siamese Spanky who was severely depressed when Rascal passed. Seeing him so happy and relaxed in his  baby bed made me so happy. It is such a little thing but probably at the same time a very profound moment. I am happiest in the simplest of moments and despite the sadness and challenges of life these moments sustain me to go on no matter what. Through the sorrows, the failures, the challenges, the loneliness for friends and family we miss; these moments sustain our happiness.

Speaking of ‘no matter what’ we got the tragic news today about the passing of my hubby’s aunt Jan. We are deeply saddened for his Mother, his uncle Keith and the children and grandchildren. Life is so precious and limited. I cannot wrap my head around loss, I can only go on the best that I can sharing love to all those closest to me and trying to make a little difference in this strange experience we call life.

I will eat clean today, and continue on with my goals despite emotions and sorrow.I am not giving up nor am I using bad news to go on an eating free for all.  Losing a loved one is a reminder to go forth with as much vigor as I can muster because life is about now. Today is now, tomorrow never shows up; it just keeps getting pushed into the mysterious void of the future. I cannot touch tomorrow, but I can feel the warmth as I sit here on my patio listening to the waterfall beneath me. The clouds here in Texas feel so close I can almost touch them. The clouds feel less elusive than tomorrowland. 

I understand for many going forward is not as easy, those who suffer from mental illness and depression. Many cannot bounce back as easy and many do not share how they really feel. Someone you may believe is a survivor and strong may be faltering. Reach out to those you know are going through challenges, you never may know how truly needed it really is.  Like everyone on social media I was shocked to hear about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Someone may seem to have it all and inside they are unraveling.  Just reach out and be there, and someday someone will do the same for you. 

Love and light to all, love and light.

Call 1800-273-8255

 

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

 

 

 

 

STARTING OVER

Happy Thursday and happy health to all.

I had an epiphany yesterday. I have been held back by my ego, my vision and memories of all my weight loss success I had on this blog. I was really doing it, than life literally kicked me in the caboose.

To move forward I have to realize it is for my health and fitness, and accept I slipped. I need to quit focusing on my appearance and do it because it is what I love and the end reward is health. Of course looking great is a bonus but I am not going to put the emphasis on my appearance. Looking at photos from one year ago just makes me sad and stagnate. I finally had my husband James take new before photos and I plan to really get to work on my fitness. These are the only before photos I will take for three months. 

It has been a year and I gained thirty of the sixty pounds I lost. I also lost my fit body because honestly I have not lifted a weight in a year and my cardio sessions have not been consistent. I own it all and now I am starting completely brand new. This blog is now my new journey with my starting weight of 188 lbs.

We got some bad news the past week,more than one bout with bad news. That’s the thing about bad news when it is about other people than yourself, you have to keep it private even on a public forum as a blog. So not only am I starting over, I am starting over after life decided to kick but again. It is ok, kick me down and I will stand back up. 

My tools for working out this time around are simple. Melissa Bender Fitness, my hubby James who works out daily, and the gym and pool where I live. Everything else is up to me this time around. Making it happen this time after all of the challenges is going to mean so much more. I am not yet on hypothyroidism meds and I am trying to tackle this without it for now.

Here are the photos, no more shame. I own this and will succeed round two. I admit looking at these brings tears to my eyes. That is motivation enough to push hard. Thank you to all for the support and I hope I can start losing weight again and help some charities along the way. Love, light and truth. 

FAILURE IS NOT MY FINAL DESTINATION

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Dreams, we all have them. It’s one of the things that motivates us to move forward in life. Dreaming feels like stepping through muddy moments and coming out refreshed on the other side, where the sun shines in a bright blue sky and rain comes down like a warm release of cleansing water. Dreams, I live for my dreams and passions and I have many dreams.

This blog was one of my dreams. It began with an idea. That’s the thing with dreams, at first they are just ideas. Our imagination concocts these thoughts called ideas, and it is up to us to either ignore them or find ways to turn thoughts into ideas and then into dreams. Sounds magical I know, and it is. I remember when my best friend suggested I write poems. Her suggestion was a thought, her thought became an idea and when she conveyed it to me it became my thoughts and ideas; and finally one of my dreams. I started writing, first with poems and later memoirs and essays. I am far from done and grateful to Melissa for her amazing idea that changed my life and my direction in which I live it.

The idea for this blog became a dream of mine. To lose weight while helping charities. It became one of my passions in my life and took me to places I had no idea I would even think of going. I had success, I lost 60 lbs and helped a lot of charities, and I was introduced to the world of fitness for the first time since my dancing days. This blog sprouted ideas that I continue to work on. I am so proud of the work I do. One of my largest dreams is to one day after I reach my goal to become a motivational speaker, helping others achieve weight loss and confidence, and encouraging them to pay it forward and help others all while achieving their own personal goals.

That same sky that brought the sunshine and the cleansing rain fell right through, more than once. In the same six months I went from achieving my lowest weight on this blog to gaining 30 lbs back six months later. I experienced the loss of my Mom, a move from LA to Houston and the sickness and loss of our beloved Siamese Rascal. I discovered I  sometimes can be an emotional eater. I did all of those things I thought were behind me, I ate unhealthy food and stopped exercising. Stress took over my life, especially during the three months I tried to save Rascal. The overeating, the lack of exercise, the stress and the grief taught me a valuable lesson. We are all human, we will fall from time to time. Our failures and falls do not define us. Our humanity and connection to each other defines us. Love defines us. What I did to try to save Rascal was love.

So back to dreams. How does one dream of doing something when they worked so hard to get to their goals and they failed? How can you continue if you failed? Where do you go from here? How do you start over? Can I ever make that dream of helping others lose weight after I myself had a setback? Am I not worthy? 

The answer is we are not defined by our failures and our setbacks, but how we stand back up; scraped knees, bruised egos and all. Facing our failure but putting it behind us as we admit we need to make a change and move forward. The key to change is facing you fell, forgiving yourself for faltering and admitting it happened. Connecting to others helps in the process, no man is an island. Connecting to other people was a huge part of my beginning of this blog and I will continue to connect and not try to go it alone. We are all connected.

I am back to blogging, back to losing weight ( with more to lose after my 30 lb weight gain), back to helping charities and working on my fitness goals; back after heartbreak and the business of being human. 

I fell hard, but I stand up again. I am alive, the sun rose today and I couldn’t think of a better way of honoring life by taking the universe up of the gift of another chance to dream and to do what I love; turning magical thoughts into inspirational ideas and dream, dream and do.

Nice to see you again,

Namaste’

Rose

TRANSITIONS IN WEIGHT LOSS

Transitions in weight loss and gaining some weight back. Pick yourself up, pick up the pieces, pick up your weights. Transitions in weight loss happen, just pick it back up where you left off. Continue the journey, you got this.

Starting Weight 220

Lowest weight loss 159

Weight Gain, Current Weight 179 

Goal Weight 130-135 By Summer

Last night I woke up from a dream. I must have been at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset Blvd near where I lived in West Hollywood. It was so real and so vivid that I woke up and decided I would go there today to work on my writing projects. Than I realized where I was and that made going there impossible. I was dreaming but awake.

I find myself living in this beautiful little community right outside of Houston Texas, and after everything James and I have been through I am grateful to have the opportunity to pick up all the broken pieces, to pay the debt from when James was unemployed. I miss West Hollywood but I have to focus on the now for now.  I can either wallow in self pity or get back to being the best me I can be, and do it here in Houston.

As I begin this blog again just like when I began in 2013 I took a new waitress job, and I am assuming it will be my last. This job is going to be a learning curve for me as far as managing my time to do my outside pursuits. As my Mother Shirley would say, suck it up kid. We need two incomes to be able to get us back on track. So this autumn I need to find a way to work on my goals and manage a full time server job. The gym in my complex is open 24 hours so I should be ok. I also plan to do all of this and some writing projects  and do it with a smile. 

If you find yourself in hot water, make like a kettle and sing. I am singing today, my official day two. I am also saying goodbye to my former self, the summer me who gained a few pounds and was just a little lost. Today is my day two and I am ready for a better version of me. I am using the lose it app to keep my portions and calories in control and writing up my ten goals for the month of October. I think slipping up one time in four years is not too bad. So here I am, downloading my running playlist, singing and cooking healthy food. Today I am making soup, here is the recipe I am making tonight. It is autumn and even though it is still so hot here James loves soups and football.

How To Make Vegetarian Split Pea Soup

 

Ain’t no use in complaining when you got a job to do. Bryan Adams

I have a lot of jobs to do but I like it that way. 

Namaste’

Love and Light

Rose

TYING THE STRINGS BACK TOGETHER

If you follow me you know since April my the strings in life started to unravel. I was able to have much weight loss success despite personal struggles because I was in control of the struggles in my life. I couldn’t control what was to come. My Mother passed away and my husband James took a position in Houston Texas and soon we left West Hollywood for Houston. It was our third move since 2014 and a big one at that. The summer for me was healing and not much else. I somewhat lost what I was working on as I tried to heal myself from the inside out. I also became vegan which was a transition for me. I since decided for now I will be vegetarian.

Today is the Autumn Equinox and day one of the second chapter of my weight loss blog, my official restart and my weigh in. I am not looking back now, I am only looking forward. For the relaunch of this blog my focus will be on health, wellness, fitness and goals. I still plan to sponsor a charity with each ten pounds I lose but I also will make a list of goals for each month beginning in October. There is going to be a give-a-way on my Facebook page, and I also promise to commit to posting if not every day every other day.

I am all in again, like I was in 2013 when I began this blog. I will not let WordPress struggles or life get in my way. I will be here and present even when things are not going my way. I will be raw, honest and forthright. I am putting all of myself out there beginning with my first weigh in today. I went from 159 to 179 in 5 months but that is ok, I got this and there is no shame in my game. 

I am human, I am me and today I am moving forward. Fall nine times, get up ten.

 

FULL CIRCLE

20472165_10155431492018617_1161137351_nWe start fresh, we get excited. We go all in, gung ho and high on our new quest. Life comes in and decides to shake us up a bit. We stumble and fall from the personal earthquake that is our life,  After the last aftershock ceases we stay still in fear and our own perceived failures, we stop moving forward. Eventually we circle back, all things are connected even our goals and the obstacles that seem to keep us at arms distance from our destination. We circle back, eventually everything comes full circle, even us.

I am in the process of circling back and finding my way. This week was my first weigh in since I dropped the ball on my fitness and weight loss journey. The ball bounced upward in my favor, as I lost five of the thirteen pounds I gained and now it is also time to re-commit to my fitness routine.

My fitness routine to begin is this:

walking every day except on my running days- one hour or more

Running three times a week

Melissa Bender Fitness 3 times a week

Sneaking in stretching and yoga to help me succeed.

Seems simple and I think it is something I can sustain as my body starts to bounce back.

Are you with me, are you circling back after dropping the ball on your goals? We are all connected, let’s circle back together.

Namaste

Love and Light

Rose

 

 

 

I GOT A NEW ATTITUDE

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

That quote sums up what I need to do since I moved from my beloved West Hollywood CA to Houston, Texas. It’s time to make radical changes in my thoughts and attitude. I am starting over fresh, in this blog and my goals; to commit to posting at least every other day and to start over in my weight loss/fitness journey. As soon as I settle in I will be looking for new charities to help again. No more complaining I miss California, as I plan to embrace all of the positives of where I am living at the moment. I have landed in Texas, but I plan to take off in my goals and dreams. This is a gift of a new beginning. There is beauty when you open your eyes and look for beauty.

20139611_10155404956903617_9036255322859341613_n

Since 2014, We moved from LA to San Francisco, from San Francisco to LA, and recently from LA to Houston. That is one move a year. My husband James was unemployed for over a year and my Mother passed away recently. Sometimes I am surprised we are both still standing. That was a lot of changes and a lot of new beginnings, but each new beginning is just that; a new beginning. Life happens, we adjust, we falter; and we finally pick up the broken pieces and put them back together again. We figure it out. I am doing that now, I am figuring it out.

For the first time since I began this blog I gained weight. It started with 6 lbs and went up to 13 lbs. I realized I needed to go back to #weightwatchersonline before it was too late. It’s been one week and tomorrow is my first weigh in day. Starting over again at 173 lbs. I went from 159 lbs up to 173 lbs but now the scale will be moving in my favor again. The goal is to treat this blog as brand new, with new excitement and ideas. 

Today I met with a friend I know from The Richard Simmons community who also happens to be an author. It was an inspirational lunch, and I got my copy of her book signed. She even brought me a copy of her children’s book that just came out. Her first book, An Exodus From Obesity is filled with so much insight from someone who lost a lot of weight. Wisdom, inspiration and life’s lessons. I also picked up a copy of The Alchemist. Everyone who read it said it was life changing literature. It is just what I need for my new tomorrow.

20264761_10155420895848617_296304958080050464_n

20258391_10155414682028617_7478675968681349067_n

To Tomorrow, and new beginnings and life’s changes. Out with the old and in with the new.

Namaste’

Rose

RUN, WALK, CRAWL

“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”
Dean Karnazes

I watched a bird walking the other day, he stepped with one foot ever so slowly, and stepped out with the other foot; walking without a care in the world at his own pace. He is not on a schedule, he is just walking tuned into his own rhythm. No worrying about the pace of another bird, he is just free in his graceful moment. 

20179937_10155395036538617_721763984_n (1)

I feel in weight loss, fitness and running we often compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we feel we cannot compete so why bother. I am here to tell you it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Yes, we should cheer them on and be happy for them, but at the same time everyone has a different journey.  If you commit to something just commit to doing it to the best of your ability. Do not mind what others think, and I think you will be surprised at the amount of support you get on your road to fitness and new health. 

Today I joined a Monday running club. I have navigated so many changes recently it left my head spinning, than I took a spill last week and that almost left me down for the count. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to run today but with the help of my new Saucony running shoes I was able to run a 5K this evening. Of course I ran at my own speed and listened to my body. I also met one of the veteran runners and she gave me a piece of runner’s wisdom; there is no fast or slow just your own personal pace. She also runs a Thursday running club I may join soon.

Tonight I will ice my knee and stretch but I am so proud I ran my first personal 5K since the move to Houston. There will be time for me to work on my speed, but today I am happy that I ran 3.1 miles without stopping. I am happy in the moment. No matter what your level is, be happy in the moment. You are doing more than you did yesterday, be proud and pat yourself on the back. I am working with Melissa Bender Fitness to get back to a formal workout and running schedule. Today I am proud in my moment, I put one foot in front of the other and ran to my own rhythm.

If you spend your time looking back at everyone else you will never cover any distance, keep your eye on your path. You can do it and I can do it. Here is to the beginners, the novices, the people who are starting over as well to those who are faster and inspire us to keep going. Here’s to each and every one of us.  Hurrah to day one. Are you with me? Let’s see where this new path goes. Happy Monday to all.  Let’s do this.

Namaste’ 

Rose

20182665_10155395037438617_340793734_n20179886_10155395037023617_1680747748_n20136762_10155395035613617_313498342_n

WEIGHT LOSS AFTER LOSS

15841776_10154786151543617_2143646322_n

Losing a loved one knocks you down,and then you get back up and the memories knock you over again. It is a never-ending cycle, this grief stuff. I guess I just need to navigate my way around the emotional grenades and go on, and we must go on. 

Losing weight after losing a loved one, this is what is on my mind at the moment. Nothing knocked me down, nothing until I lost my Mother. I made it to my lowest weight on this journey, 159 lbs and I did it through a move from LA to San Francisco, my husband’s job loss and a move back to LA. I kept going through all of those life changes, and life did not break me and I never gained a pound. I kept losing and I am proud to say I did it, until the last month.

Now life after losing my Mother left me with a few pounds of extra weight. I admit I fell of the wagon. That’s the thing about wagons, they keep going, you just have to catch up and jump back on. I am committing to my healthy lifestyle and workouts and goals, it is not easy now. Our new kitchen is barely set up but I can do this. It starts today, I know how to do this and I know how to get to where I am going. I am back on the wagon and on the road to all of my goals. I will lose the 10 lbs I gained and get to my goals.

I am about to run to the grocery store, my hubby James is working and we need something healthy to eat. I am going to wear my runners belt and run there even with this heat and humidity. I plan on making a schedule soon, and tomorrow I have an interview to work in a local restaurant for some extra cash for my goals and our new life. I will post my workout/running/yoga schedule once I begin my job and new routine. No more slacking off. 

18920276_10155255878553617_6227207059609535930_n

I would love to know how you kept working towards your goals through a life crisis. What tips do you follow to keep at it? We are all here to inspire each other.

So much love and Light

Rose