Tag Archives: challenges.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Depression, I think I was depressed for a while. I’m trying to understand the idea of depression. I’m such a happy go lucky person, for me to be depressed is unheard of. The loss of my Mom, leaving my beloved Los Angeles and losing our cat; among other things left me with this void. It’s not something anyone can see, it’s like a numbness. In Los Angeles I was so alive, like life on steroids. Things here in Texas are much slower and with all of what happened I felt my vibration at an all time low. Time to choose to change and raise my vibration.

Recognizing it is the first step. Making goals again and being impeccable with my word is the second step. I am here, posting every single day. My computer crashed, but this time I make no excuses and I make it happen with my phone. I keep a food journal every single day. I can feel already changes in my body. I’m so happy to be back, this is just the beginning. I’m laying the basic groundwork for bigger goals. 

Do what you love, do all things with love. I treat others with love, I should do so with myself. That means never giving up and making the commitment to stick to starting over.

What do I love? I love to write so I keep writing and submitting my work. I want to be a healthy weight loss success story again, and I want to help others. I’m interested in motivational speaking sometime in the future.

After being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, I too want to teach classes. I’m a former dancer and I love dance as much as I love writing. My husband James paid for me to get my American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. With all that has happened I missed my exam, and I was so disappointed in myself. I hit an all time low with that one. 

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I was told I still have one year to take my exam. Do what you love. That’s my motivation for me going forward. Round two is underway and going strong. 

It’s time to study. Do all things with love, for yourself and for others. 

So much love and light.

Namaste’

Rose


 

 

WEIGHT LOSS THROUGH STRESS

Happy Friday to all. I’m doing a lot of soul searching and thinking this week. If you know me, I’m a firm believer of the law of attraction. This week seemed to spiral in the negative direction. Once we started to focus on something that happened early in the week everything just seemed to go downward. It’s like they say, if you wake up and stub your toe and believe it will be a bad day it will. You are what you believe. I’m trying to change that. Fall nine times, get up ten. 

Time to make like a GPS and yell recalculating as loud as I can. One thing that has been positive is I’ve stayed true to my word to blog and to stick to my weight loss and health regimen. I lost 5 lbs my first week and I’m very dedicated. I’m working out again. I’m taking my frustrations out on the treadmill.No matter what happens I’m not giving up. Goal or bust. 

We can’t change the outcome of certain circumstances but we can change our thought process. We even may find some clarity to take necessary risks with our future. Sometimes you have to just jump and see where you land.

Breathe in, breathe out 

love and light

Namaste’

Rose 

 

MINDSET

Happy Thursday to all. I’m still blogging from my phone. Not having a working computer is not a setback for me. I’m just adjusting to whatever tools I have on hand. I committed to blogging daily again, and I will do so no matter the obstacles. It’s really helping me stay on track with my food. I’m on it, I’m accountable, I’m not perfect, but I’m doing it every single day. It’s not easy to do this on the phone, the keyboard is sensitive so if things look less than stellar my apologies. 

Mindset. Even though I’m really doing great with my food I admit this week my mindset is struggling. So much stress this week since we got back, so much to think about and decisions to be made. I admit I’m completely overwhelmed and had quite a few crying moments this week. I’m trying to pull myself out of this quagmire I’m in. That means exercise and sleep. This week my sleep has been compromised and when you are fatigued you cannot think clearly. 

I had a chat with one of my dear friends. He reminded me how strong I am. He said for me to be able to stay so focused on eating clean is a big accomplishment. I have to admit he’s right. I’m staying the course, I did the standard American diet crime and gained the weight but that’s in the past. I’m getting back to being the person who started this blog; strong yet not perfect, but one who doesn’t give in or give up. 

Day seven since I’m back. Seven days at being accountable to my word. I love the book the four agreements and the quote from the author. I will leave you with this. 

Always be impeccable with your word. 

Don Miguel Ruiz

Love and light

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

 

 

HEALTHY VEGAN

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford

Starting over, how often do we do this again and again? I hit my lowest weight on this blog over a year ago, and then life took over my will power and drive. I have spent the last six months visualizing what I want going forward, but not yet grasping what I did before that gave me weight loss success. In essence I talked about starting over, but I let life still rule my will. Now it’s time I talk the talk again, and walk the walk. It’s never easy, life does keep throwing us curve balls; but it’s time I start playing dodge ball and dodging those damn obstacles to make it happen despite the challenges. Today I weighed in at a whopping 192.8, but I own that because I believe I can achieve my goals the second time around. That quote is my hubby’s favorite, and now mine too. I think I can.

If you follow my blog you know I have chosen a vegan lifestyle, This is for the animals, and the environment. Is it a journey finding how to lose weight again since I gained my weight back? Yes, it’s a brand new journey but I am a work in progress. I am living my most authentic self, staying true to my convictions.

This new journey has a learning curve but I am up for the challenge. In the beginning I ate a lot of vegan convenience foods. I love these alternatives and I will have them occasionally, but going forward I am planning a whole foods and plant based diet. Still vegan for the animals, but cleaner eating for me. It’s a win win. I can have those vegan alternatives occasionally as a treat, but my day to day diet will be clean. I lost all my weight eating clean, but this time I am vegan. I am relearning everything I did the first time around but with a compassionate twist. Today is day one, and I will be sharing everything I learn on this brand new journey. 

So I am back, back to daily blogging, back to being me one day at a time. We just flew in from Delaware and today we are grocery shopping and working out, and spending time with our Siamese cats. Today is a brand new day, and I am grateful to be alive to have the opportunity to start over. There are obstacles and challenges as always, but every time a curve balls comes my way, I will duck and keep going because I think I can. 

Love and light,

Rose

 

WEIGH IN AND WILLPOWER

“Take a lesson from the trees, watch the way they bend with each breeze, little victories.”

— Bob Seger

Good Afternoon.That quote totally resonates with me.  I lost 2 lbs, today I weighed in at 188 lbs, There has been much frustration on my end, struggling with my willpower that seems to wane in the evenings. I am almost there, but I need to tweak some issues with willpower. I am happy about the loss but I have to correct my inconsistencies. I started over weighing in a week ago at 190 lbs. I just need to work harder, period.

I am eating a plant-based diet and trying to have mostly raw foods when possible. There are moments when my husband James asks me to make him vegan comfort foods, and it can be hard to resist vegan Bolognese and vegan tacos when I am trying to eat as clean as possible. Those foods aren’t terrible, and they are definitely better than the meat alternatives; but for someone like me who is really having a hard time losing weight they are too high in starchy carbs and sodium. They are also the kind of foods we all tend to overeat.

I have been charting my calories on the LoseItapp and even with these little vegan cheats my calories never go over 1,600. I try to stay under 1,300. I don’t believe in full on cheat days, but working some foods into your calories without overeating. I can still do better and I will.

Today is a new day and a new week, I need to practice more mindful eating.  I am tweaking some things to see what works. When I started this blog 5 years ago I was not living a plant-based lifestyle, and I ate low carb and high protein. So this is trial in error for me. I am learning what works for my body, and doing tons of research. I will start posting what I am eating when I get on a roll and find out exactly what is working for me. This really is a brand new journey in more ways than one. Celebrate small victories and work a little harder each and every day.

Love and Light

Rose

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED

Our cat Max was sleeping in his cat bed today, we call it his baby bed. We bought his bed for him months ago after we adopted him. It was a month after we lost our beloved Siamese cat Rascal when we saw an advertisement that someone was giving their Siamese cat away. We were not looking to replace Rascal, but I felt compelled to adopt this particular cat.  He was declawed on all four legs and something told me he needed us as we needed him.

Max has been a healing force in our lives and a friend to our other Siamese Spanky who was severely depressed when Rascal passed. Seeing him so happy and relaxed in his  baby bed made me so happy. It is such a little thing but probably at the same time a very profound moment. I am happiest in the simplest of moments and despite the sadness and challenges of life these moments sustain me to go on no matter what. Through the sorrows, the failures, the challenges, the loneliness for friends and family we miss; these moments sustain our happiness.

Speaking of ‘no matter what’ we got the tragic news today about the passing of my hubby’s aunt Jan. We are deeply saddened for his Mother, his uncle Keith and the children and grandchildren. Life is so precious and limited. I cannot wrap my head around loss, I can only go on the best that I can sharing love to all those closest to me and trying to make a little difference in this strange experience we call life.

I will eat clean today, and continue on with my goals despite emotions and sorrow.I am not giving up nor am I using bad news to go on an eating free for all.  Losing a loved one is a reminder to go forth with as much vigor as I can muster because life is about now. Today is now, tomorrow never shows up; it just keeps getting pushed into the mysterious void of the future. I cannot touch tomorrow, but I can feel the warmth as I sit here on my patio listening to the waterfall beneath me. The clouds here in Texas feel so close I can almost touch them. The clouds feel less elusive than tomorrowland. 

I understand for many going forward is not as easy, those who suffer from mental illness and depression. Many cannot bounce back as easy and many do not share how they really feel. Someone you may believe is a survivor and strong may be faltering. Reach out to those you know are going through challenges, you never may know how truly needed it really is.  Like everyone on social media I was shocked to hear about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Someone may seem to have it all and inside they are unraveling.  Just reach out and be there, and someday someone will do the same for you. 

Love and light to all, love and light.

Call 1800-273-8255

 

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

 

 

 

 

STARTING OVER

Happy Thursday and happy health to all.

I had an epiphany yesterday. I have been held back by my ego, my vision and memories of all my weight loss success I had on this blog. I was really doing it, than life literally kicked me in the caboose.

To move forward I have to realize it is for my health and fitness, and accept I slipped. I need to quit focusing on my appearance and do it because it is what I love and the end reward is health. Of course looking great is a bonus but I am not going to put the emphasis on my appearance. Looking at photos from one year ago just makes me sad and stagnate. I finally had my husband James take new before photos and I plan to really get to work on my fitness. These are the only before photos I will take for three months. 

It has been a year and I gained thirty of the sixty pounds I lost. I also lost my fit body because honestly I have not lifted a weight in a year and my cardio sessions have not been consistent. I own it all and now I am starting completely brand new. This blog is now my new journey with my starting weight of 188 lbs.

We got some bad news the past week,more than one bout with bad news. That’s the thing about bad news when it is about other people than yourself, you have to keep it private even on a public forum as a blog. So not only am I starting over, I am starting over after life decided to kick but again. It is ok, kick me down and I will stand back up. 

My tools for working out this time around are simple. Melissa Bender Fitness, my hubby James who works out daily, and the gym and pool where I live. Everything else is up to me this time around. Making it happen this time after all of the challenges is going to mean so much more. I am not yet on hypothyroidism meds and I am trying to tackle this without it for now.

Here are the photos, no more shame. I own this and will succeed round two. I admit looking at these brings tears to my eyes. That is motivation enough to push hard. Thank you to all for the support and I hope I can start losing weight again and help some charities along the way. Love, light and truth. 

FAILURE IS NOT MY FINAL DESTINATION

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Dreams, we all have them. It’s one of the things that motivates us to move forward in life. Dreaming feels like stepping through muddy moments and coming out refreshed on the other side, where the sun shines in a bright blue sky and rain comes down like a warm release of cleansing water. Dreams, I live for my dreams and passions and I have many dreams.

This blog was one of my dreams. It began with an idea. That’s the thing with dreams, at first they are just ideas. Our imagination concocts these thoughts called ideas, and it is up to us to either ignore them or find ways to turn thoughts into ideas and then into dreams. Sounds magical I know, and it is. I remember when my best friend suggested I write poems. Her suggestion was a thought, her thought became an idea and when she conveyed it to me it became my thoughts and ideas; and finally one of my dreams. I started writing, first with poems and later memoirs and essays. I am far from done and grateful to Melissa for her amazing idea that changed my life and my direction in which I live it.

The idea for this blog became a dream of mine. To lose weight while helping charities. It became one of my passions in my life and took me to places I had no idea I would even think of going. I had success, I lost 60 lbs and helped a lot of charities, and I was introduced to the world of fitness for the first time since my dancing days. This blog sprouted ideas that I continue to work on. I am so proud of the work I do. One of my largest dreams is to one day after I reach my goal to become a motivational speaker, helping others achieve weight loss and confidence, and encouraging them to pay it forward and help others all while achieving their own personal goals.

That same sky that brought the sunshine and the cleansing rain fell right through, more than once. In the same six months I went from achieving my lowest weight on this blog to gaining 30 lbs back six months later. I experienced the loss of my Mom, a move from LA to Houston and the sickness and loss of our beloved Siamese Rascal. I discovered I  sometimes can be an emotional eater. I did all of those things I thought were behind me, I ate unhealthy food and stopped exercising. Stress took over my life, especially during the three months I tried to save Rascal. The overeating, the lack of exercise, the stress and the grief taught me a valuable lesson. We are all human, we will fall from time to time. Our failures and falls do not define us. Our humanity and connection to each other defines us. Love defines us. What I did to try to save Rascal was love.

So back to dreams. How does one dream of doing something when they worked so hard to get to their goals and they failed? How can you continue if you failed? Where do you go from here? How do you start over? Can I ever make that dream of helping others lose weight after I myself had a setback? Am I not worthy? 

The answer is we are not defined by our failures and our setbacks, but how we stand back up; scraped knees, bruised egos and all. Facing our failure but putting it behind us as we admit we need to make a change and move forward. The key to change is facing you fell, forgiving yourself for faltering and admitting it happened. Connecting to others helps in the process, no man is an island. Connecting to other people was a huge part of my beginning of this blog and I will continue to connect and not try to go it alone. We are all connected.

I am back to blogging, back to losing weight ( with more to lose after my 30 lb weight gain), back to helping charities and working on my fitness goals; back after heartbreak and the business of being human. 

I fell hard, but I stand up again. I am alive, the sun rose today and I couldn’t think of a better way of honoring life by taking the universe up of the gift of another chance to dream and to do what I love; turning magical thoughts into inspirational ideas and dream, dream and do.

Nice to see you again,

Namaste’

Rose

TRANSITIONS IN WEIGHT LOSS

Transitions in weight loss and gaining some weight back. Pick yourself up, pick up the pieces, pick up your weights. Transitions in weight loss happen, just pick it back up where you left off. Continue the journey, you got this.

Starting Weight 220

Lowest weight loss 159

Weight Gain, Current Weight 179 

Goal Weight 130-135 By Summer

Last night I woke up from a dream. I must have been at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset Blvd near where I lived in West Hollywood. It was so real and so vivid that I woke up and decided I would go there today to work on my writing projects. Than I realized where I was and that made going there impossible. I was dreaming but awake.

I find myself living in this beautiful little community right outside of Houston Texas, and after everything James and I have been through I am grateful to have the opportunity to pick up all the broken pieces, to pay the debt from when James was unemployed. I miss West Hollywood but I have to focus on the now for now.  I can either wallow in self pity or get back to being the best me I can be, and do it here in Houston.

As I begin this blog again just like when I began in 2013 I took a new waitress job, and I am assuming it will be my last. This job is going to be a learning curve for me as far as managing my time to do my outside pursuits. As my Mother Shirley would say, suck it up kid. We need two incomes to be able to get us back on track. So this autumn I need to find a way to work on my goals and manage a full time server job. The gym in my complex is open 24 hours so I should be ok. I also plan to do all of this and some writing projects  and do it with a smile. 

If you find yourself in hot water, make like a kettle and sing. I am singing today, my official day two. I am also saying goodbye to my former self, the summer me who gained a few pounds and was just a little lost. Today is my day two and I am ready for a better version of me. I am using the lose it app to keep my portions and calories in control and writing up my ten goals for the month of October. I think slipping up one time in four years is not too bad. So here I am, downloading my running playlist, singing and cooking healthy food. Today I am making soup, here is the recipe I am making tonight. It is autumn and even though it is still so hot here James loves soups and football.

How To Make Vegetarian Split Pea Soup

 

Ain’t no use in complaining when you got a job to do. Bryan Adams

I have a lot of jobs to do but I like it that way. 

Namaste’

Love and Light

Rose

TYING THE STRINGS BACK TOGETHER

If you follow me you know since April my the strings in life started to unravel. I was able to have much weight loss success despite personal struggles because I was in control of the struggles in my life. I couldn’t control what was to come. My Mother passed away and my husband James took a position in Houston Texas and soon we left West Hollywood for Houston. It was our third move since 2014 and a big one at that. The summer for me was healing and not much else. I somewhat lost what I was working on as I tried to heal myself from the inside out. I also became vegan which was a transition for me. I since decided for now I will be vegetarian.

Today is the Autumn Equinox and day one of the second chapter of my weight loss blog, my official restart and my weigh in. I am not looking back now, I am only looking forward. For the relaunch of this blog my focus will be on health, wellness, fitness and goals. I still plan to sponsor a charity with each ten pounds I lose but I also will make a list of goals for each month beginning in October. There is going to be a give-a-way on my Facebook page, and I also promise to commit to posting if not every day every other day.

I am all in again, like I was in 2013 when I began this blog. I will not let WordPress struggles or life get in my way. I will be here and present even when things are not going my way. I will be raw, honest and forthright. I am putting all of myself out there beginning with my first weigh in today. I went from 159 to 179 in 5 months but that is ok, I got this and there is no shame in my game. 

I am human, I am me and today I am moving forward. Fall nine times, get up ten.