NOT A NUMBER


runme

“Life is like music on a scale, shifting up and down. When your life is over, your song has been written.”
― Peggy Toney Horton

This quote is not about the same scale I am talking about, but it is a true example of the ups and downs of life and living as well as the ups and downs of weight loss. How do you measure your worth? Are you unworthy on days when the scale tips upward? These are the questions I often ask myself as I continue on my quest of weight loss and fitness.

Today is weigh in Wednesday, and I gained three pounds. Does that mean today I am a failure?

I could go on and on about the fact I ate more sodium than usual over the holiday weekend, or the fact I got a nasty virus from my husband James that sidelined me for almost a week. I could go on and on about that one piece of cake I decided to indulge in, or the fact that I work nights and sometimes I find myself skipping meals.

I could go on and on for the reason I gained the dreaded three pounds. Or I can just say my scale is a fickle bitch and toss is aside. 

I would like to believe I have many more lyrics to compose in this life of mine, many more stanzas to the poems that make up my purpose as I walk this planet. My weight has no bearing of the reason of my existence. It is easy to self sabotage,  to self bash and follow a pattern of self destructiveness. Or I can choose the other race course, lace up my hot pink running shoes and just keep running towards my goals; even though my flat surfaced race course sometimes feels more like an extreme obstacle with barbed wire hurdles to jump over.

Am I a failure or a fighter? 

This week I begin again, as it seems I am constantly doing as of late.  My elusive weight goal is far in the future. I will fight my mythical hurdles, take them on one step at a time, one mile before the next and try to get there even if it seems to be taking forever. Barbed wire? Bring it on.  I will get there.

After all my song is far from over.

Jump that wall, run that mile, the scale does not get to decide how far you will go. Numbers don’t hold you back, only you can do that. Keep running towards your goals.

Namaste’

Rose Bruno Bailey

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