Category Archives: starting over

WW Weigh In Week One

Happy Monday to all. Today is my first WW weigh in, and I lost 5.4 lbs. I went from 184.4 lbs to 179 lbs. Some of this may be water weight, because now that I’m doing WW online I’m also eating cleaner which means less sodium. I’m being very consistent with my meals and I’m actually eating more frequently. I track every bite. I snack, I track, I bite, I write; well I type it on my app but you get my little rhyme.

I no longer fear food and obsess over a little olive oil. I have control over food, it doesn’t have control over me. I’m enjoying eating, I’m having my 1 teaspoon of raw sugar in my coffee every morning without worrying. As a vegan I’m already limited, so trying to cut other certain foods out 100% just made me crazy. I now practice my own version of moderation when it comes to sugar, salt, oils, and faux vegan meats and cheeses. I don’t cut them out 100% but I may have them here and there, and that’s ok. Tracking gives me back my sanity over food. My work meals are simple and plain, and that works for my lifestyle. I feel the first week of any weight loss and fitness journey sets the tone, and I’m starting strong. 

I picked what charity I would like to assist when I lose my first ten pounds and I will post that in a separate post. My trainer Bethany plans on joining me. We workout tomorrow, and today I’m doing 30 minutes of cardio and a workout. I believe today’s workout is focusing on shoulders and back. 

Are you on a wellness/weight loss or fitness journey? Did it take you forever to start? I congratulate everyone who is beginning a brand new path to heath.  Let’s do this together. 

Love and Light 

Rose 

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

It’s weigh in Monday, and I finally reached 180 lbs. I lost 3 lbs last week, my first week working out with my trainer Bethany.  In January I began charting my weight on my Loseitapp but I didn’t start blogging regularly again until the last few weeks. According to my app I’m down 9 lbs since January. I am very excited to see the scale move, but this is just practice. Now it’s time to really focus on my fitness as much as my food and to keep up the consistency. I’ve been a bit of a yo yo dieter, and blogger since I gained half my weight back. I’ve since retired my yo yo status. 

I took some before photos. I really took raw before photos, something I never did on this blog even when I began in 2013 when I weighed over 200 lbs. I decided to save the photos when I begin to feel fit again. I just do not have the heart to  share the photos at the moment. I’m working on regaining my confidence as well as my fitness, as I begin this new weight loss and wellness journey. To me the photos are an embarrassment, but necessary evil  to chart my progress. They are my secret motivation. 

Some of my regular weekday meals are so easy. I rely on these staples to get me through my week. Homemade black bean burgers on whole grain buns with vegetables.  Lentil soup two ways, Italian Style and chili style. Split Pea Soup. Main Dish salads with garbanzo beans and a ton of veggies. Garbanzo Bean salad sandwiches on toasted Ezekiel bread. I strive for convenience when I do my vegan meal prep.

I know I’m getting proper nutrition because I follow Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I have one vegan cheat meal once a week, within reason. On this day I experiment with vegan comfort food recipes. We do not eat out often because Houston doesn’t have many vegan options. I’m committed to the second phase of my weight loss and wellness journey and to regaining my happiness in mind and body. My body is my temple and my life is a gift, I’m repackaging it with a shiny new outlook. 

Love and Light to all. 

Rose 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose

 

WEIGH IN

I had a little bug again, it’s been so cold here and everyone around me has been sick. It was just a quick cold and I’m back feeling  like brand new. 

Things are really starting to look brighter here, and I’m very inspired and motivated. I know I said I would only weigh myself once a month, but I lied. I am currently 182 lbs. I was 190 around the holidays. I am so excited to see the scale dropping again. I’m really trying to work on my nutrition and portion control. The Loseitapp keeps me in check. I keep a food journal daily, it helps me tremendously. I’m 24 lbs away from my lowest weight I reached on this blog, before the loss of my Mom and our move to Houston. I’m finding my way back to myself now, finding my way back to true happiness and all of my plans and goals. 

The one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is no matter how motivated I am, I am not perfect. I really believe in eating a Whole Foods, plant based way of living. Sometimes, I may splurge though. Cravings happen. The one thing I won’t do, is cheat on my vegan lifestyle. This is something that has nothing to do with diet, it’s my moral compass and I strive to follow what’s in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I strive to be my authentic self. So when I speak of occasionally splurging, I am referencing vegan fun foods that I choose to only eat occasionally. My daily way of eating is clean wfpb with limited oil, salt and sugar. I have chosen to say limited instead of completely omitting these items because like I stated before, I am far from perfect. 

As I type this latest post I’m watching Madonna. She is probably my earliest inspiration and one of the reasons I chose to dance in college. I’m getting back to my fitness and I’m excited to say I’m taking the American Council of Exercise group exercise exam in September. My plan is to start with dance inspired group classes. I learned a lot after  being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, and I plan to use all my experiences in this blog as well as my classes. I’m lucky to have real women in fitness in my life, inspiring me and making a difference with their fitness careers. I’ve decided I would like to interview these wonderful real women warriors, so stay tuned. It will be a week long series, with one interview each day for seven days. My real life inspirations. I’m nothing without my influences. 

I will leave you with a snippet of an interview I saw with Jennifer Lopez. She said she remembers seeing Madonna running in Central Park. Here was this big star, but she was working hard. So if you have a dream, a goal or a plan; start by working hard. It’s the cement of the building blocks of your goals. Go get it now, but start at the base and build upon it with sweat and dedication. Don’t forget your inspirations and influences, they are there to teach you if you are willing to learn. We all uplift each other. 

If you believe you will achieve, but you have to put the work in. Nothing of worth comes for free. Believe, Achieve, Become the butterfly. 

 

PLANNING AND PLANTS

 

We should all be eating fruits and vegetables as if our lives depend on it – because they do.

Michael Greger

 

Happy Monday to all. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Last week I began my 35 days of a whole foods, plant-based lifestyle. I am vegan for the animals and planet, and wfpb for my health. It is a learning curve, but I am researching and really learning a lot. My plan is to do 35 days of my wfpb lifestyle, and allow one cheat day; then continue for another 35 days. It just so happens my cheat days coincide with holidays. My cheat days are as follows, St Patrick’s Day, Easter Sunday and Memorial day. I also will be off on all three days so that’s quite the lucky hand. I am hoping on one of those days we can drive to Austin TX and dine at one of their many vegan restaurants.

I plan on posting my grocery list, meals and recipes as I go forward. I am really feeling so energetic after just one week. Let me add, this is not difficult for me, feeling so well keeps me going. More to come in future posts. I also plan on weighing myself once a month, and have blood work done in three months. I am really curious how this will reflect in a cholesterol test.

This week I begin my cardio, yoga and stretching. I plan to start with speed walking and work my way back into running. I have more plans for March for my workouts, and I am taking the steps I need to get in the best shape I can be. February is all about nutrition and getting back to moving daily. It is heart healthy month and that is my motivation, to be heart healthy. I also have some exciting news to share soon. 

In the past on this blog I shared photos consistently, this time I am being a little more reserved. I will share photos when I feel it is time. At the moment I will be sharing the results that you cannot see. It is like Faith. I am keeping the faith and I wish you the same blessings.

Love and Light

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

 

 

It’s a Lifestyle

Happy Day after Valentine’s Day to all. I hope the special day brought you joy, whether you have a valentine or not. I work in a restaurant at night so my day was all work and no play. That’s ok, it’s my hump day and soon my my off days will be here. I’m working hard for the money and grateful for my blessings. 

It’s day 4 of my 30 day Whole Foods plant-based challenge. I’m vegan and I’m trying to lean more towards a cleaner way of taking care of my temple. Day 4 and I feel fabulous, not as fatigued from waiting tables. For a while I thought I was getting sick, or old, and now I realize I just wasn’t feeding my body correctly. I’m doing the challenge to help myself kick it into high gear, to be accountable. At the end I will have a delicious vegan cheat day and do another 30 day challenge. I’m going to do this plan going forward. I plan to check my cholesterol in a few months, to see how this is working for my body. Staying away from all oils is the biggest hurdle, but I’m sticking to it. In 30 days I will jump on the scale, and going forward I will only weigh myself once a month. 

We had a cat health scare with Max, but it was a false alarm. I will take him in to be safe soon, but it seems he was constipated. I found out today my Mom’s sister, my Aunt Elaine in Chicago had a stroke. I think she’s going to be ok, but send her lots of prayers. In life, challenges pop up when you least expect them. No matter what comes, I’m not deviating from my food plan. This is for my heath, period. My weight loss will be an added bonus. 

Next week I will post on my fitness plans, and more of what I’m eating. I’m going forward and not looking back. Onward and upward for me.

Love and Light 

Rose

Smoothie Prep

 

I bought these little containers to prep smoothies the night before. They are just simple containers, but it will be a huge factor in my success going forward. On my work days I need to be set up for success. This is my week one, and I’m beginning strong. I did a mini plant-based haul and I’m ready to rock it. My smoothie consists of spinach, kale, blueberries, banana, chia seeds plus soy milk and a little peanut butter with no salt. 

My 30 day challenge will actually be a few days longer than 30 days. I want my one cheat day to be on my day off. That will be the day I weigh in. In the next 30 or so days I will be posting what I’m eating and how it’s making me feel, including recipes. Day two and any heart burn I had from eating consistent processed food is gone.

I will also be going over my workouts, and what I’m doing this time to get in the best shape of my life. My week one is all about getting back to basics, finding my footing through clean eating nutrition. 

Have a wonderful Wednesday. It’s never too late to dream a new dream or revisit dreams you never were able to accomplish. As long as you are breathing there is time. 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Depression, I think I was depressed for a while. I’m trying to understand the idea of depression. I’m such a happy go lucky person, for me to be depressed is unheard of. The loss of my Mom, leaving my beloved Los Angeles and losing our cat; among other things left me with this void. It’s not something anyone can see, it’s like a numbness. In Los Angeles I was so alive, like life on steroids. Things here in Texas are much slower and with all of what happened I felt my vibration at an all time low. Time to choose to change and raise my vibration.

Recognizing it is the first step. Making goals again and being impeccable with my word is the second step. I am here, posting every single day. My computer crashed, but this time I make no excuses and I make it happen with my phone. I keep a food journal every single day. I can feel already changes in my body. I’m so happy to be back, this is just the beginning. I’m laying the basic groundwork for bigger goals. 

Do what you love, do all things with love. I treat others with love, I should do so with myself. That means never giving up and making the commitment to stick to starting over.

What do I love? I love to write so I keep writing and submitting my work. I want to be a healthy weight loss success story again, and I want to help others. I’m interested in motivational speaking sometime in the future.

After being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, I too want to teach classes. I’m a former dancer and I love dance as much as I love writing. My husband James paid for me to get my American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. With all that has happened I missed my exam, and I was so disappointed in myself. I hit an all time low with that one. 

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I was told I still have one year to take my exam. Do what you love. That’s my motivation for me going forward. Round two is underway and going strong. 

It’s time to study. Do all things with love, for yourself and for others. 

So much love and light.

Namaste’

Rose