Category Archives: starting over

FINDING MY MOMENTUM

My favorite robe isn’t a real robe, but I decided to make it one. It sparks joy!!

Good Morning lovely people. It’s September 4th, can you believe it’s almost autumn?  Here in Houston it will stay hot for some time, eventually cooling down in the 70’s and 60’s. That means I can do my cardio outside or at the gym. If you are stressed out there is nothing like moving your body to an upbeat playlist. This is my non-negotiable. I plan to exercise every single damn day, even if it’s after work. I love seeing the big birds when I’m out getting my move on. They really inspire me to take flight. Today is national wildlife day!! 

I stalk birds.

I have three weight goals. My first weight goal is to get in the 160’s by the end of September. That should be easy if I focus on my willpower and fitness. My second weight loss goal is 159 lbs.  That was my weight when we moved to Houston from Los Angeles. I’m currently 174 lbs, down 15 lbs since this time last year. I have to work on my consistency. Stress got in my way, I ate too much Nada Moo( vegan ice cream). I didn’t track, because I chose to overeat. Overeating is a choice, and I’m guilty of it.

Stepping on the scale is a reset for me. I’m back to counting points. I plan to eat more zero point foods, fruits, veggies, beans and tofu. Yesterday I stayed in ww blue point range, that means I stayed within my point balance. My third weight loss goal is around 140 lbs. I also really want to not just focus on the scale, but really focus on my fitness. I need to get strong, flexible and fast. It’s been way too long. I also want to try new activities, like kayaking this beautiful waterway where I live. 

Nature and exercise is the cure to anxiety and stress.

Goals, sometimes I get so mad at myself when I think where I would be now if I didn’t slip up then. I don’t believe in looking too far back, but I need to realize my mistakes now so I don’t make them again. So when a few months goes by I can say I am in a better place then I was in early September. The key is to think about this before every bite I take. Why is it so hard to get back your willpower after a slip up? Have you struggled with this in your weight loss journey? I just have to regain my momentum beginning this week.

Well, it’s coffee time. Love and Light to all and Happy Wednesday. Let’s do this, one meal at a time. 

Spanky, coffee and a Garden of Life Protein Bar.

Lots of water after I wake up, and fruit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN WEIGHT GAIN

I was reading Mantra Wellness Magazine, (photo from the pages of the magazine). I opened the magazine and this was the first page. It totally spoke to me. I messed up, again. I gained 3 of the 13 lbs I lost. Here I am, facing the music and starting over.

Weight loss is a series of ups and downs. You begin all gun go until a holiday or other food related event comes along. All of a sudden you stop tracking and you promise yourself just one bad day. Then there’s leftovers, so one cheat day becomes two. Soon you have lost your momentum. I’ve been there when I was successful in my weight loss the first time around, and I’m there now at the beginning of my second weight loss journey. The key is to catch it, to own your slip up and get back on that weight loss wagon. Get on the scale, face it and get moving. I gained three pounds. My weight is currently 174 lbs. I’m still down ten, and I’m catching this now before I gain the whole ten back. I’m making like a GPS,  I’m yelling recalculating. Here’s how I’m going to get back at it and stop the gain cycle and continue on my wellness/weight loss/fitness journey part two.

The first thing is to access the damage, weigh yourself. You need to know where you are.It’s easy to be in denial. Better to cry over a few pounds now. I weighed myself and tracked my weight. 

My next step is to track all my food, and as a ww member I’m going to try to be in blue dots. That means stay within my healthy range of points, period. I noticed my weight went up when I didn’t track.  When I did track I went over my points. My day begins with 24 oz of water with lemon, and a banana and an apple or whatever fruit I have. I let my body digest it before my daily one cup of coffee. Then my breakfast. Lately I’m eating a garden of life plant based protein bar with my coffee. Hey, I’m on the run and it’s only 5 pts. I’m going to make oat and peanut butter protein balls too. If you are vegan I would love to know some fast and healthy breakfasts that are your favorites. 

Being accountable here helps, so I plan to try to blog daily and try to get better sleep. I have two Siamese cats, and the minute our heads touch the pillow they decide it’s time to party. We have to get better sleep, that’s number one. 

Move daily. Non negotiable. That’s my only fitness rule right now. I’ve been spotty with my fitness so I’m making this one goal to start. Move my body vigorously for 45 minutes to 1 hour daily. I will be more specific later, but that’s my rule. It could be running, walking fast, Melissa Bender Fitness workouts etc. I just have to move it for 45 minutes to 1 hour. I started this on Labor Day. Plus I’m going to also add sun salutations, stretching and legs up a wall pose for circulation. 

Eat clean 80/20. The majority of my vegan diet must be Whole Foods plant based with processed vegan food only occasionally. Tracking every bite. I stopped this and I gained three pounds. It’s ok, I’m painfully human. I may try to not eat past 8 pm, but this may be difficult with my work schedule. I’m going to try. Time to revisit vegan meal prepping. 

So this is my restart of my restart. We are still planning to go to Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary soon, definitely this month. Ive been asked by my husband James to go when he can go. I do plan to visit and volunteer regularly after our first visit. There’s a lot going on in our life but this is something I can’t wait to do. I’m also helping a friend with a bake sale for her dog that needs surgery. I will post more about that later. I’m baking vegan goodies!! I believe we are here to be of service to others. Sometimes stress gets in the way, I’m working on ways to destress naturally.

I’m off to get my daily exercise in. I want you to know the road to goal does have potholes, and an occasional thunderstorm or two that can throw you off track. The sun will shine again, just begin traveling your path as many times as need be. The destination will always be there. Love and Light. Rose

 

LOSING WEIGHT IS A PROCESS

Losing weight is a process, in the beginning it’s easy but sticking it out takes extra willpower. Life gets sticky, and it gets in the way. It’s easy to fall of the wagon and stop the healthy patterns you’ve developed in the beginning of your weight loss journey. You will know when this happens, and when you realize it nip it in the bud. 

This week was challenging to say the least. Nothing worth mentioning just adulting and all that comes with it. I didn’t track for days. I almost went for vegan whoppers at Burger King on nights when work was slow and stressful. Waitressing has bad days and bad weeks, it’s normal but when you go into work and stand around it makes you question things. In the end it’s is the way of working in a restaurant, good days and bad days. It always seems like bad days come when you are stressed. Time to reboot and recalculate, like a gps. 

So today I recalculate, I’m trying to check my mood and mindset. I’m back to tracking. I’m planning for Monday and a better and more productive week. Writing my weekly goals on Sunday night. I’m going to try to stress less and be happy in the moments, even the mundane moments that drive me mad. No reason to slip up on my weight loss goals because of a bad week. It’s a marathon and not a sprint, this road to weight loss goals. 

Love and Light

Rose

WW Weigh In Week One

Happy Monday to all. Today is my first WW weigh in, and I lost 5.4 lbs. I went from 184.4 lbs to 179 lbs. Some of this may be water weight, because now that I’m doing WW online I’m also eating cleaner which means less sodium. I’m being very consistent with my meals and I’m actually eating more frequently. I track every bite. I snack, I track, I bite, I write; well I type it on my app but you get my little rhyme.

I no longer fear food and obsess over a little olive oil. I have control over food, it doesn’t have control over me. I’m enjoying eating, I’m having my 1 teaspoon of raw sugar in my coffee every morning without worrying. As a vegan I’m already limited, so trying to cut other certain foods out 100% just made me crazy. I now practice my own version of moderation when it comes to sugar, salt, oils, and faux vegan meats and cheeses. I don’t cut them out 100% but I may have them here and there, and that’s ok. Tracking gives me back my sanity over food. My work meals are simple and plain, and that works for my lifestyle. I feel the first week of any weight loss and fitness journey sets the tone, and I’m starting strong. 

I picked what charity I would like to assist when I lose my first ten pounds and I will post that in a separate post. My trainer Bethany plans on joining me. We workout tomorrow, and today I’m doing 30 minutes of cardio and a workout. I believe today’s workout is focusing on shoulders and back. 

Are you on a wellness/weight loss or fitness journey? Did it take you forever to start? I congratulate everyone who is beginning a brand new path to heath.  Let’s do this together. 

Love and Light 

Rose 

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

It’s weigh in Monday, and I finally reached 180 lbs. I lost 3 lbs last week, my first week working out with my trainer Bethany.  In January I began charting my weight on my Loseitapp but I didn’t start blogging regularly again until the last few weeks. According to my app I’m down 9 lbs since January. I am very excited to see the scale move, but this is just practice. Now it’s time to really focus on my fitness as much as my food and to keep up the consistency. I’ve been a bit of a yo yo dieter, and blogger since I gained half my weight back. I’ve since retired my yo yo status. 

I took some before photos. I really took raw before photos, something I never did on this blog even when I began in 2013 when I weighed over 200 lbs. I decided to save the photos when I begin to feel fit again. I just do not have the heart to  share the photos at the moment. I’m working on regaining my confidence as well as my fitness, as I begin this new weight loss and wellness journey. To me the photos are an embarrassment, but necessary evil  to chart my progress. They are my secret motivation. 

Some of my regular weekday meals are so easy. I rely on these staples to get me through my week. Homemade black bean burgers on whole grain buns with vegetables.  Lentil soup two ways, Italian Style and chili style. Split Pea Soup. Main Dish salads with garbanzo beans and a ton of veggies. Garbanzo Bean salad sandwiches on toasted Ezekiel bread. I strive for convenience when I do my vegan meal prep.

I know I’m getting proper nutrition because I follow Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I have one vegan cheat meal once a week, within reason. On this day I experiment with vegan comfort food recipes. We do not eat out often because Houston doesn’t have many vegan options. I’m committed to the second phase of my weight loss and wellness journey and to regaining my happiness in mind and body. My body is my temple and my life is a gift, I’m repackaging it with a shiny new outlook. 

Love and Light to all. 

Rose 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose

 

WEIGH IN

I had a little bug again, it’s been so cold here and everyone around me has been sick. It was just a quick cold and I’m back feeling  like brand new. 

Things are really starting to look brighter here, and I’m very inspired and motivated. I know I said I would only weigh myself once a month, but I lied. I am currently 182 lbs. I was 190 around the holidays. I am so excited to see the scale dropping again. I’m really trying to work on my nutrition and portion control. The Loseitapp keeps me in check. I keep a food journal daily, it helps me tremendously. I’m 24 lbs away from my lowest weight I reached on this blog, before the loss of my Mom and our move to Houston. I’m finding my way back to myself now, finding my way back to true happiness and all of my plans and goals. 

The one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is no matter how motivated I am, I am not perfect. I really believe in eating a Whole Foods, plant based way of living. Sometimes, I may splurge though. Cravings happen. The one thing I won’t do, is cheat on my vegan lifestyle. This is something that has nothing to do with diet, it’s my moral compass and I strive to follow what’s in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I strive to be my authentic self. So when I speak of occasionally splurging, I am referencing vegan fun foods that I choose to only eat occasionally. My daily way of eating is clean wfpb with limited oil, salt and sugar. I have chosen to say limited instead of completely omitting these items because like I stated before, I am far from perfect. 

As I type this latest post I’m watching Madonna. She is probably my earliest inspiration and one of the reasons I chose to dance in college. I’m getting back to my fitness and I’m excited to say I’m taking the American Council of Exercise group exercise exam in September. My plan is to start with dance inspired group classes. I learned a lot after  being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, and I plan to use all my experiences in this blog as well as my classes. I’m lucky to have real women in fitness in my life, inspiring me and making a difference with their fitness careers. I’ve decided I would like to interview these wonderful real women warriors, so stay tuned. It will be a week long series, with one interview each day for seven days. My real life inspirations. I’m nothing without my influences. 

I will leave you with a snippet of an interview I saw with Jennifer Lopez. She said she remembers seeing Madonna running in Central Park. Here was this big star, but she was working hard. So if you have a dream, a goal or a plan; start by working hard. It’s the cement of the building blocks of your goals. Go get it now, but start at the base and build upon it with sweat and dedication. Don’t forget your inspirations and influences, they are there to teach you if you are willing to learn. We all uplift each other. 

If you believe you will achieve, but you have to put the work in. Nothing of worth comes for free. Believe, Achieve, Become the butterfly. 

 

PLANNING AND PLANTS

 

We should all be eating fruits and vegetables as if our lives depend on it – because they do.

Michael Greger

 

Happy Monday to all. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Last week I began my 35 days of a whole foods, plant-based lifestyle. I am vegan for the animals and planet, and wfpb for my health. It is a learning curve, but I am researching and really learning a lot. My plan is to do 35 days of my wfpb lifestyle, and allow one cheat day; then continue for another 35 days. It just so happens my cheat days coincide with holidays. My cheat days are as follows, St Patrick’s Day, Easter Sunday and Memorial day. I also will be off on all three days so that’s quite the lucky hand. I am hoping on one of those days we can drive to Austin TX and dine at one of their many vegan restaurants.

I plan on posting my grocery list, meals and recipes as I go forward. I am really feeling so energetic after just one week. Let me add, this is not difficult for me, feeling so well keeps me going. More to come in future posts. I also plan on weighing myself once a month, and have blood work done in three months. I am really curious how this will reflect in a cholesterol test.

This week I begin my cardio, yoga and stretching. I plan to start with speed walking and work my way back into running. I have more plans for March for my workouts, and I am taking the steps I need to get in the best shape I can be. February is all about nutrition and getting back to moving daily. It is heart healthy month and that is my motivation, to be heart healthy. I also have some exciting news to share soon. 

In the past on this blog I shared photos consistently, this time I am being a little more reserved. I will share photos when I feel it is time. At the moment I will be sharing the results that you cannot see. It is like Faith. I am keeping the faith and I wish you the same blessings.

Love and Light

Namaste’

Rose