Category Archives: starting over

NON SCALE VICTORIES

Happy Friday. I’m celebrating small nsv’s, that means non-scale victories. It’s week three of my #benderfitness workouts and I’m going strong and getting stronger. I’m working out 5-6 days a week, and I can see improvement in my strength. My push ups are a little bit lower, I’m holding my planks a little bit longer. My lunges are not as scary or as difficult. My flexibility is improving and my joints are no longer aching. A body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest. Newton’s law. I’m doing these workouts for either six weeks or 12 weeks, and later I will switch it up.

To me this is the beginning of success, the little improvements and the commitment to put in the hard work day after day, despite the struggles and disappointments of life. As humans we tend to only view success in the grand accomplishments. Money, cars, awards, followers; material gains and huge accolades are often looked upon as more important than the non material and smaller wins. We tend to congratulate someone without knowing the background of the blood, sweat and tears that got them there. It takes hard work to accomplish dreams and goals, but that hard work in the beginning should never be looked upon as insignificant. When someone who’s never exercised in their life finally walks a block, that’s success to me. It’s getting the guts to get up and go, to jump hurdles and leap over anything that gets in your way; and a lot of time we are tripping over our own two feet. Our insecurities hold us back, our perception of what others think holds us back. Don’t do that.

My life right now has issues, but I’m not letting that hold me back, and I understand that’s life for all of us. There is fear, uncertainty and some sadness; but through it all I’m a survivor who loves life and is grateful for another day. So each day, no matter what’s going on I will commit to my small daily goals because that’s how I’m getting to where I’m going. Small goals one day will become big accomplishments. No one is clapping when I hold my plank 1 minute at 1 am in the morning, but I’m giving my commitment to making it happen a standing ovation. That’s all the accolades I need, the satisfaction of showing up and getting it done despite what comes my way. In one year I will look back at this moment with immense pride because I refused to give up.

Do you believe in coming back after failure? Do you believe in second and third chances to get something right after falling on your face multiples times? I find it really inspiring when someone makes a come back after failure after failure. After all failure is just a word we created, and we don’t have to let that word define us. Every brand new day is a chance to try again, and get it right. Let’s get it right, let’s work hard and show ourselves we can and will do it. Let’s define and rewrite our definition of success. Most important point to remember is to remember to make time for others when you are out in the world trying to make a name for yourself. No one is an island. Kindness and giving should always be a given in the sequence of chasing success. We all are here for one another. Let’s chase success together and rise each other up. Everyone who tries deserves thunderous applause. Show up and give yourself a standing ovation. 

Love and light,
 Rose 

 

 

 

 

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

Happy Wednesday. Above is the photo of my before and after on my first part of my weight loss blog journey 2013-2017. For anyone new reading this I started my blog to lose weight and support a new charity with each ten pounds I lost in 2013.  I reached my lowest weight of 159 lbs in May 2017 and helped many charities in Los Angeles and San Francisco. In my life really got really crazy. My Mother became ill and died May 21st, 2017. Two weeks later we moved from LA to Houston TX, and in December 2017 we lost our beloved Siamese Rascal after months of trying to save him. It was a rough year to say the least.

In 2018 we had some major life challenges and my blog really came to a halt. I would start and quit, mostly because those changes left scars on me, just like the Elton John song lyrics from the Funeral for a friend song. Those lyrics really speak to me. Sometimes changes in the form of challenges result in scars. For me those scars took on the form of excuses, and I just didn’t put in the work like I did in the past. I ended up gaining half my weight back and I was truly unhappy for the first time in a long time.

Now it’s the end of 2019 and I’ve come to the conclusion there’s always going to be challenges. Scars fade eventually and you will get new challenges with new scars, that’s life. I’ve decided to go after all of my goals, beginning here with my wellness, fitness and weight loss. I’m at it every day because when the new scars fade I won’t have to feel bad for quitting. Quitting is not in my vocabulary anymore. I was strong through my move from LA to San Francisco in 2014 and I kept going, and that’s what I’m doing now. I’m taking inspiration from my former self, with new scars motivating me to overcome new challenges.

It’s my new week three and I feel wonderful. Transitioning to night workouts is a game changer for me. There’s a peace about the gym at that time. I’m up late because I work late and my energy is high, so I’m utilizing that fact to go after my fitness goals instead of using work as an excuse. Last night I noticed my planks are getting stronger, and my balance doing warrior 3 is really improving. These are the changes that start my progress. I’m very proud of getting to where I am in my mindset, and proud I’m no longer using life’s problems as excuses. I’m doing all this as an even prouder vegan, I transitioned to veganism in 2018. It’s who I am and that I got right. I’m living my most authentic life.

You can choose happiness or misery, and I choose happiness. I’m no longer an excuse maker. I’m a goal setter and getter. I’m on the road to becoming an after, taking it one mile at a time. There are no shortcuts, nor will I veer off the road and head in a different direction. This is my journey and my positive mindset gets to decide where I’m going.

Happy Wednesday to all. Love and light, Rose 

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

Today is weigh in Monday and week two of my #benderfitness workouts. I weighed in at 176  and lost 1 lb. I’m focusing on clean eating (vegan) and also balanced eating. What does balanced eating mean? For me it’s eating a 80/20 diet or 90/20. In other words the bulk of my meals are Whole Foods plant-based, using minimal oils and lower salts and sugars, always counting my WW points. It’s my WW points that help me stay balanced when I eat something that’s more processed or a treat. I’m getting my vegan nutrition in and I don’t feel deprived. It’s truly balanced eating and I feel great after my week one. Focusing also on my workouts is important too, I’m refusing to be a slave to the scale. I lost one true pound, I didn’t cut water or skip meals yesterday like I have in the past to get a better number on the scale. I am in it to win it and not taking shortcuts to get there.

Lots to do today, so that’s it for now. It’s my day off but also the first day of my second week of Melissa Bender Fitness workouts. I started my day with a vegan Vega protein bar and one cup of delicious coffee with my Silk vegan creamer, lots of water and fruit.

I hope you are having a Happy Monday and chasing all of your goals no matter what happens. Last week felt like the lowest week we experienced in a long time but I didn’t quit. I’m committed and I’m climbing over all obstacles that come my way. Happy Motivational Monday to all. Love and Light, Rose

 

 

WEEK ONE RECAP

Happy Sunday to all.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been this consistent, probably since May 2017. I followed through with Monday/Friday #benderfitness workouts and cardio. I’ve been eating really clean vegan, but counting my points to be accountable. I took a rest day Saturday, my calves were cramping a bit and I chose to listen to my body. My hubby picked me up and bought me an Impossible Whopper and onion rings Saturday night, so I chose to eat half the vegan whopper and a few onion rings. This plan has to be livable, a healthy vegan plant based lifestyle with balance. I counted the half vegan whopper and stayed within my daily points. For the first time in forever I felt satisfied and guilt free. All week my food choices were on point, I meal prepped and packed food for work. I set my week up for success.

Tonight I’m working out after work, cardio and yoga tonight. I get out at ten. Everyone’s lifestyle is different, and if you are looking to make changes do so within your own unique personal lifestyle. I work late and I come home with high energy, so it makes sense I work out after work and not before. This week had some disappointments for both my hubby James and myself, but I didn’t let those challenges get in the way of my commitments. I followed through, and that’s going to be the one change that’s going to get me to all of my goals, following through. Week one was a success in my eyes. I may not be as strong as I once was, but it’s really exciting to know I will get there. You will too if you believe you can achieve any commit to do the hard work, nothing of worth is ever easy. Happy Sunday to all, remember lifestyle changes take one meal at a time, and one workout at a time. It doesn’t happen overnight, it didn’t for me the first time in 2013 and it won’t this time. I’m not expecting quick fixes. This is a marathon and not a sprint.

Love and light, Rose

 

 

 

MOBILE MEDITATION

Happy Tuesday. Today is day two of my workout challenge and my weight loss journey, I fell off the wagon again. My weight is 177 lbs, I will keep at it until I get it right.  My workout yesterday was so inspirational, it really made me wonder why I ever stopped in the first place. I started with my outdoor cardio for 40 minutes, did two rounds of my Benderfitness Monday/Wednesday/Friday workouts,(thanks to my bff Melissa) and ended with ten minutes on the rowing machine. My muscles felt the shaking that happens after a good workout. Day one sets the bar for day two. It was like coming home. It’s truly mobile meditation.

If you live in a mild climate or the weather is nice where you are I highly recommend doing some of your workout outdoors. There is nothing like being one with nature, wildlife and all the other walkers and runners getting their miles in. As I began walking, my eyes caught a woman walking a dog with three legs. My heart felt like it would just burst as I flashed her a big smile and a hand to my heart gesture as she smiled back at me. Through the course of my cardio I saw a young man with Down’s syndrome enjoying his jogging, a runner stop his pace to assist a family out of a swan boat, wildlife basking in the beauty of a Texas autumn day. You do not get the same experience from a treadmill. 

Finally I was finished, and I sat for a moment on a park bench and met the three legged dog Frisker. His fur parents are rescuers and I was able to snap a few shots of my muse for my day.

Frisker keeps going, he doesn’t let bad days or the fact he’s running on three legs stop him. If he can do it, so can I and so can you. Today is National make a dogs day but yesterday Frisker made my day. We are all connected. You definitely don’t get that type of rush indoors. I plan to get outside daily for some or all of my daily workouts. It’s definitely the kind of natural high five that keeps you motivated to do it again on day two.

What I got out of my  Monday was the beauty of life and living, nature and the kindness of people and animals, and best friends who come to your rescue even from afar. I also learned you may have challenges but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up. There’s power in consistency. There’s power in trying despite how hard it may be.

Keep on keeping on and pay attention, there is inspiration everywhere. 

Love and Light Rose

 

 

 

 

WORKOUT CHALLENGE WITH MELISSA BENDER FITNESS

Happy Monday. I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately. I believe in the power of a positive mindset.  You can choose to be happy, or choose to be miserable. We each have a choice. I’ve also been thinking about my goals, my health, and how it pertains to my personal happiness. I realized in life there are things you can control and things you cannot control. Here’s the riddle though, sometimes when the things you cannot control pile up, you stop working on the things you can control and you end up in chaos. So my advice to you if you are going through a difficult time is to stay the course with the things you can control. You can control your mindset, what you choose to consume, your attitude, and whether or not you make the choice to workout. You can always choose to reach out to a friend or family member, we are not in this life alone.

I decided to choose my health and my happiness. I realize I need to stop worrying about the things I cannot control and let fate take its course. Today begins my return to working out, to really committing to five workouts a week plus daily cardio. Today I’m alive to commit to my wellbeing, today I will not say no. I’ve reached out to my bff friend Melissa at #melissabenderfitness #benderfitness and asked her to put together a Monday through Friday workout plan. She has wonderful free videos on YouTube( you should check her out) but I want to be able to take my mat down to our apartment gym or the local park and do my workouts. She was so kind to put this together for me. There are two workouts, all body weight since I’m back to beginner status. Monday/Wednesday/Friday and Tuesday/Thursday. For my cardio I’m beginning with speed walking until I feel like I’m getting my stamina back. I’ve not been consistent and slacked off too long, but this is my choice to not be fearful or ashamed to start over. I keep saying I’m going to post daily and well, life happens;  but I’m really going to try to post on my progress as well as my struggles with food and time management. Time is one of my biggest obstacles, or excuses. I’m trying to correct my flaws of impatience and procrastination. 

Here’s the workouts, thanks Melissa. I probably will start with ten reps for each exercise and try to get in two or three workout sessions daily. I’ve got my playlist all ready for my cardio. My mindset is positive, and no matter how far I fall I always get up again. Are you with me? Happy Monday. Let’s control our happiness. Happy Monday. Let’s do this.
Love and light, Rose

 

 

 

FINDING MY MOMENTUM

My favorite robe isn’t a real robe, but I decided to make it one. It sparks joy!!

Good Morning lovely people. It’s September 4th, can you believe it’s almost autumn?  Here in Houston it will stay hot for some time, eventually cooling down in the 70’s and 60’s. That means I can do my cardio outside or at the gym. If you are stressed out there is nothing like moving your body to an upbeat playlist. This is my non-negotiable. I plan to exercise every single damn day, even if it’s after work. I love seeing the big birds when I’m out getting my move on. They really inspire me to take flight. Today is national wildlife day!! 

I stalk birds.

I have three weight goals. My first weight goal is to get in the 160’s by the end of September. That should be easy if I focus on my willpower and fitness. My second weight loss goal is 159 lbs.  That was my weight when we moved to Houston from Los Angeles. I’m currently 174 lbs, down 15 lbs since this time last year. I have to work on my consistency. Stress got in my way, I ate too much Nada Moo( vegan ice cream). I didn’t track, because I chose to overeat. Overeating is a choice, and I’m guilty of it.

Stepping on the scale is a reset for me. I’m back to counting points. I plan to eat more zero point foods, fruits, veggies, beans and tofu. Yesterday I stayed in ww blue point range, that means I stayed within my point balance. My third weight loss goal is around 140 lbs. I also really want to not just focus on the scale, but really focus on my fitness. I need to get strong, flexible and fast. It’s been way too long. I also want to try new activities, like kayaking this beautiful waterway where I live. 

Nature and exercise is the cure to anxiety and stress.

Goals, sometimes I get so mad at myself when I think where I would be now if I didn’t slip up then. I don’t believe in looking too far back, but I need to realize my mistakes now so I don’t make them again. So when a few months goes by I can say I am in a better place then I was in early September. The key is to think about this before every bite I take. Why is it so hard to get back your willpower after a slip up? Have you struggled with this in your weight loss journey? I just have to regain my momentum beginning this week.

Well, it’s coffee time. Love and Light to all and Happy Wednesday. Let’s do this, one meal at a time. 

Spanky, coffee and a Garden of Life Protein Bar.

Lots of water after I wake up, and fruit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN WEIGHT GAIN

I was reading Mantra Wellness Magazine, (photo from the pages of the magazine). I opened the magazine and this was the first page. It totally spoke to me. I messed up, again. I gained 3 of the 13 lbs I lost. Here I am, facing the music and starting over.

Weight loss is a series of ups and downs. You begin all gun go until a holiday or other food related event comes along. All of a sudden you stop tracking and you promise yourself just one bad day. Then there’s leftovers, so one cheat day becomes two. Soon you have lost your momentum. I’ve been there when I was successful in my weight loss the first time around, and I’m there now at the beginning of my second weight loss journey. The key is to catch it, to own your slip up and get back on that weight loss wagon. Get on the scale, face it and get moving. I gained three pounds. My weight is currently 174 lbs. I’m still down ten, and I’m catching this now before I gain the whole ten back. I’m making like a GPS,  I’m yelling recalculating. Here’s how I’m going to get back at it and stop the gain cycle and continue on my wellness/weight loss/fitness journey part two.

The first thing is to access the damage, weigh yourself. You need to know where you are.It’s easy to be in denial. Better to cry over a few pounds now. I weighed myself and tracked my weight. 

My next step is to track all my food, and as a ww member I’m going to try to be in blue dots. That means stay within my healthy range of points, period. I noticed my weight went up when I didn’t track.  When I did track I went over my points. My day begins with 24 oz of water with lemon, and a banana and an apple or whatever fruit I have. I let my body digest it before my daily one cup of coffee. Then my breakfast. Lately I’m eating a garden of life plant based protein bar with my coffee. Hey, I’m on the run and it’s only 5 pts. I’m going to make oat and peanut butter protein balls too. If you are vegan I would love to know some fast and healthy breakfasts that are your favorites. 

Being accountable here helps, so I plan to try to blog daily and try to get better sleep. I have two Siamese cats, and the minute our heads touch the pillow they decide it’s time to party. We have to get better sleep, that’s number one. 

Move daily. Non negotiable. That’s my only fitness rule right now. I’ve been spotty with my fitness so I’m making this one goal to start. Move my body vigorously for 45 minutes to 1 hour daily. I will be more specific later, but that’s my rule. It could be running, walking fast, Melissa Bender Fitness workouts etc. I just have to move it for 45 minutes to 1 hour. I started this on Labor Day. Plus I’m going to also add sun salutations, stretching and legs up a wall pose for circulation. 

Eat clean 80/20. The majority of my vegan diet must be Whole Foods plant based with processed vegan food only occasionally. Tracking every bite. I stopped this and I gained three pounds. It’s ok, I’m painfully human. I may try to not eat past 8 pm, but this may be difficult with my work schedule. I’m going to try. Time to revisit vegan meal prepping. 

So this is my restart of my restart. We are still planning to go to Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary soon, definitely this month. Ive been asked by my husband James to go when he can go. I do plan to visit and volunteer regularly after our first visit. There’s a lot going on in our life but this is something I can’t wait to do. I’m also helping a friend with a bake sale for her dog that needs surgery. I will post more about that later. I’m baking vegan goodies!! I believe we are here to be of service to others. Sometimes stress gets in the way, I’m working on ways to destress naturally.

I’m off to get my daily exercise in. I want you to know the road to goal does have potholes, and an occasional thunderstorm or two that can throw you off track. The sun will shine again, just begin traveling your path as many times as need be. The destination will always be there. Love and Light. Rose

 

LOSING WEIGHT IS A PROCESS

Losing weight is a process, in the beginning it’s easy but sticking it out takes extra willpower. Life gets sticky, and it gets in the way. It’s easy to fall of the wagon and stop the healthy patterns you’ve developed in the beginning of your weight loss journey. You will know when this happens, and when you realize it nip it in the bud. 

This week was challenging to say the least. Nothing worth mentioning just adulting and all that comes with it. I didn’t track for days. I almost went for vegan whoppers at Burger King on nights when work was slow and stressful. Waitressing has bad days and bad weeks, it’s normal but when you go into work and stand around it makes you question things. In the end it’s is the way of working in a restaurant, good days and bad days. It always seems like bad days come when you are stressed. Time to reboot and recalculate, like a gps. 

So today I recalculate, I’m trying to check my mood and mindset. I’m back to tracking. I’m planning for Monday and a better and more productive week. Writing my weekly goals on Sunday night. I’m going to try to stress less and be happy in the moments, even the mundane moments that drive me mad. No reason to slip up on my weight loss goals because of a bad week. It’s a marathon and not a sprint, this road to weight loss goals. 

Love and Light

Rose

WW Weigh In Week One

Happy Monday to all. Today is my first WW weigh in, and I lost 5.4 lbs. I went from 184.4 lbs to 179 lbs. Some of this may be water weight, because now that I’m doing WW online I’m also eating cleaner which means less sodium. I’m being very consistent with my meals and I’m actually eating more frequently. I track every bite. I snack, I track, I bite, I write; well I type it on my app but you get my little rhyme.

I no longer fear food and obsess over a little olive oil. I have control over food, it doesn’t have control over me. I’m enjoying eating, I’m having my 1 teaspoon of raw sugar in my coffee every morning without worrying. As a vegan I’m already limited, so trying to cut other certain foods out 100% just made me crazy. I now practice my own version of moderation when it comes to sugar, salt, oils, and faux vegan meats and cheeses. I don’t cut them out 100% but I may have them here and there, and that’s ok. Tracking gives me back my sanity over food. My work meals are simple and plain, and that works for my lifestyle. I feel the first week of any weight loss and fitness journey sets the tone, and I’m starting strong. 

I picked what charity I would like to assist when I lose my first ten pounds and I will post that in a separate post. My trainer Bethany plans on joining me. We workout tomorrow, and today I’m doing 30 minutes of cardio and a workout. I believe today’s workout is focusing on shoulders and back. 

Are you on a wellness/weight loss or fitness journey? Did it take you forever to start? I congratulate everyone who is beginning a brand new path to heath.  Let’s do this together. 

Love and Light 

Rose