Category Archives: overcoming challenges

Weight Watchers Online

Sometimes you need help and guidance. I recently started working out with my personal trainer Bethany, my best friend Melissa Benderfitness has amazing fitness and yoga videos I follow, but I was struggling with food. I finally caved in after realizing I can’t do it alone and I joined Weight Watchers Online and downloaded the app. They now call themselves WW and their latest program is called freestyle. It focuses on good nutrition but no food is outlawed.

I’m vegan but occasionally I like vegan fun foods, I can lose weight, have my vegan cake and eat it too. Portion control will help me feel in control, and I will learn to focus again on clean nutrition but not freak out if I have a little vegan treat once in a while. For me WW gives me power over food, anyone who suffers eating disorders understands the power food can have over you. I can’t live like that any longer. Today is my day two and I feel great. This program is livable and sustainable.

My  journey includes fitness. I am doing cardio five to six days a week. I’m working out with my trainer once a week, but soon as I learn what she’s teaching me I will do the workouts 2-3 times a week plus Melissa Benderfitness videos and yoga. I’m on this. I try to do my cardio outdoors when I can, there’s nothing like mobile meditation with nature as your backdrop. Below is me in May 2017 right before my Mom passed away and our move from LA to Houston.  I was in great shape, I did it once, I’m going to do it again. 

Well I’m off for now. I picked a charity for my next ten pound weight loss. I will post soon, I want to use the laptop for that so I can include all of their links. Monday I weighed in at 184.4. It’s ok, I got this. Love and Light to all. We are on this journey together, we can lift each other up as we each go about trying to reach our destinations. The journey is the reward. 

 

 

 

GOALS

Happy Friday to all. As I start anew I’m starting to set goals again. Im fighting some fatigue this second time around, I work late and usually I don’t get to bed late. I may do a lot of my workouts at 11 or 12 midnight since I’m so wired after work. My fatigue only hits me in the morning when I wake up, so prepping meals and giving myself time to wake up and have a morning routine before work is easier for me and my schedule. 

I am so blessed to have Bethany as my trainer, and to have Melissa Bender Fitness videos and guidance. I may join WW online to help me with my food monitoring. It’s a great program and it takes the fear away of food being good vs bad, it’s all food. As a vegan I’m trying to make sure I get everything I need, but WW will help with little splurges within reason. It helps keep me from binges. I’m signing up Monday. Today I weighed in at 183 lbs. 

My trainer Bethany and Melissa Bender Fitness are the experts,  but as a former dancer and this being my second go at fitness, I do have a lot of knowledge about proper form and the body. I’m beginning my studying for the American Council of Exercise group exercise certification, and I hope to take the exam in the fall. After being in the Richard Simmons Video, and taking two classes with him weekly I was so inspired. I thought, this is what I love, I can do this to. So my plan is to pass the exam and teach upbeat, inspirational dance aerobics classes like he did. I’m a dancer and this is in my heart and soul, it’s the one thing missing from my life. Once a dancer, always a dancer. I will leave the heavy exercise to the professionals, and do that only as a student and not a teacher. My plan is to learn to teach all the areas I excel in, stretching, dance, etc. I’m really excited about this new chapter and I have quite a lot of work to do to get there. 

I have chosen a new charity to get involved with once I lose ten pounds. I’m going to first lose 3 more pounds since I went up 3 lbs since Easter. So when I reach 170 lbs I will be volunteering alongside my trainer Bethany at a local non-profit near and dear to my heart. I will announce this Monday, the day I join WW online and do another weigh in. We also plan to register for a 5k locally and take a yoga class. I’m dying to study ballroom but unfortunately that’s not on my budget at the moment. More goals to come but I think this is a good head start.

It’s Mothers Day weekend and I wish everyone who is a Mother a Happy Mothers Day. That includes all the wonderful women who take care and love their companion animals. It’s your Mothers Day too. Happy Unconditional Love Day. Mothers Day and May 21st are not easy days for me, since I lost my Mom May 21st 2017. I send love and hugs to my sisters who feel exactly like I do, and all of you who also lost a beloved Mother. My Mother would expect me to keep going and never give up on my goals. She would always say to keep trying, all they can say is no. 

Love and Light 

Rose

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

CHEAT DAYS

Happy Wednesday to all. I had two cheat days this week, Easter’s vegan meal and leftovers the day after. I did not overeat at all, but the high fat vegan food just made me feel awful. It was high sodium and it caused me high anxiety. This made me realize it’s too soon in my new weight loss journey for cheat days. 

Do cheat days help or harm? Do they throw off your mindset of wellness and health? For me, at this moment they do. I feel cheat days in the beginning of my weight loss journey just put me back where I started. I have not yet earned my wellness, fitness and health. Down the line when I’ve mastered my plans I can have the occasional splurge , but for now it’s a big no. I don’t get cravings when I’m consistent. Health is just too important to me. 

Are cheat days a yay or nay for you? How far along are you in your weight loss/fitness/ wellness journey? For now I staying the course with my whole foods plant based lifestyle. Vegan junk food will always be there for when I need it. 

Current weight week of 4/22/2019 is 180lbs, after a 9 lbs loss since January 2019

Love and Light

Rose 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all. Today was weigh in and I went up a pound. I’m currently 183 lbs. Last week was not a stellar food week for me, I didn’t plan and I skipped a lot of meals. I would literally go to work on empty and eat afterwards. Unfortunately what I ate after was pasta. This week I’m going to focus on planning and prepping and keeping my food journal. It was a minor slip and not a fall. 

So continuing on I’m going to focus on fitness and better planning. It was only one pound and I’m ok with that. That’s why I went back to weighing in once a week. Each week you see if there is something you can improve upon. If I went weeks without weighing in I might have found I gained more than one pound. I still have 24 lbs to go to get to the lowest weight I reached on this blog. This means I really need to start working a lot harder than I have recently. It’s harder for me since my DR said it’s looking like I have hypothyroidism, but I’m choosing ( just for now) to go at this without meds. 

I would love to hear your stories of struggling with weight loss over 40, stories of weight loss through hypothyroidism. I did this once, and I will do it again. I’m learning how to balance my weight loss journey, starting my new fitness journey; and all of my writing and submitting I’m doing. I have a lot going on, lots of wonderful opportunities and I’m nothing but grateful to be alive. The weight will come off, I just need to put the hard work in. Nothing of worth ever comes easy. 

Love and Light

Rose

 

It’s a Lifestyle

Happy Day after Valentine’s Day to all. I hope the special day brought you joy, whether you have a valentine or not. I work in a restaurant at night so my day was all work and no play. That’s ok, it’s my hump day and soon my my off days will be here. I’m working hard for the money and grateful for my blessings. 

It’s day 4 of my 30 day Whole Foods plant-based challenge. I’m vegan and I’m trying to lean more towards a cleaner way of taking care of my temple. Day 4 and I feel fabulous, not as fatigued from waiting tables. For a while I thought I was getting sick, or old, and now I realize I just wasn’t feeding my body correctly. I’m doing the challenge to help myself kick it into high gear, to be accountable. At the end I will have a delicious vegan cheat day and do another 30 day challenge. I’m going to do this plan going forward. I plan to check my cholesterol in a few months, to see how this is working for my body. Staying away from all oils is the biggest hurdle, but I’m sticking to it. In 30 days I will jump on the scale, and going forward I will only weigh myself once a month. 

We had a cat health scare with Max, but it was a false alarm. I will take him in to be safe soon, but it seems he was constipated. I found out today my Mom’s sister, my Aunt Elaine in Chicago had a stroke. I think she’s going to be ok, but send her lots of prayers. In life, challenges pop up when you least expect them. No matter what comes, I’m not deviating from my food plan. This is for my heath, period. My weight loss will be an added bonus. 

Next week I will post on my fitness plans, and more of what I’m eating. I’m going forward and not looking back. Onward and upward for me.

Love and Light 

Rose

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy Monday to all? Today is weigh in Monday and I lost 2 lbs, cue happy dance. That brings me to 182 lbs. I’m down 7.6 lbs. I’m keeping a journal of my meals and calories on the Loseitapp and I’m using Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen App to keep track of my vegan nutrition. I’m doing this six days a week and one day a week I allow a vegan cheat day. On that day I eat whatever vegan foods I like, but I do my best to keep my calories in check. 

Losing weight through stress or when you are in a personal crisis is not easy. For me what’s working this second try around is I’m focusing on my nutrition and my fitness. My meal plan six days a week is very clean, with very low salt, no oils and just a bit of raw sugar in my coffee. Using both apps keeps me accountable. My energy is definitely up since I started the Dr Greger Daily Dozen. My one vegan cheat day a week allows me to eat the vegan foods I love. This week I’m choosing that day to be Halloween.

Another bonus is how incredibly inexpensive this way of eating is. Lentils, tofu, split peas, canned beans no salt, fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables, quinoa, Ezekiel bread, oats, flax seeds, no salt peanuts and no salt peanut butter. It’s not always easy to tick off everybox, yesterday  I missed cruciferous vegetables; but that’s ok. I strive to each day do better. 

I am also working on some new and exciting projects, I also plan to waitress more than usual, and I’m continuing forward with this blog with the intent to post more regularly and I plan more videos in YouTube.

Dr Greger recommends exercise daily and I may start my workouts in the evening on my work days to be able to manage everything I’m working on. I bought an amazing planner from Barnes and Noble to keep everything organized.

It is all about a positive mindset. Stress gets me, and sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in it; than I remember I’m a good swimmer. Right now im treading water through my struggles and my eye is on my health, fitness, strength, flexibility, and longevity. I’m proud to be a plant eater. 

Stay tuned for next post when I announce how I’m doing my small part to help others in the community I live in with the wonderful people I work with.

When you find yourself struggling, it helps to help others.

Namaste’

Rose

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Depression, I think I was depressed for a while. I’m trying to understand the idea of depression. I’m such a happy go lucky person, for me to be depressed is unheard of. The loss of my Mom, leaving my beloved Los Angeles and losing our cat; among other things left me with this void. It’s not something anyone can see, it’s like a numbness. In Los Angeles I was so alive, like life on steroids. Things here in Texas are much slower and with all of what happened I felt my vibration at an all time low. Time to choose to change and raise my vibration.

Recognizing it is the first step. Making goals again and being impeccable with my word is the second step. I am here, posting every single day. My computer crashed, but this time I make no excuses and I make it happen with my phone. I keep a food journal every single day. I can feel already changes in my body. I’m so happy to be back, this is just the beginning. I’m laying the basic groundwork for bigger goals. 

Do what you love, do all things with love. I treat others with love, I should do so with myself. That means never giving up and making the commitment to stick to starting over.

What do I love? I love to write so I keep writing and submitting my work. I want to be a healthy weight loss success story again, and I want to help others. I’m interested in motivational speaking sometime in the future.

After being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, I too want to teach classes. I’m a former dancer and I love dance as much as I love writing. My husband James paid for me to get my American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. With all that has happened I missed my exam, and I was so disappointed in myself. I hit an all time low with that one. 

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I was told I still have one year to take my exam. Do what you love. That’s my motivation for me going forward. Round two is underway and going strong. 

It’s time to study. Do all things with love, for yourself and for others. 

So much love and light.

Namaste’

Rose


 

 

WEIGHT LOSS THROUGH STRESS

Happy Friday to all. I’m doing a lot of soul searching and thinking this week. If you know me, I’m a firm believer of the law of attraction. This week seemed to spiral in the negative direction. Once we started to focus on something that happened early in the week everything just seemed to go downward. It’s like they say, if you wake up and stub your toe and believe it will be a bad day it will. You are what you believe. I’m trying to change that. Fall nine times, get up ten. 

Time to make like a GPS and yell recalculating as loud as I can. One thing that has been positive is I’ve stayed true to my word to blog and to stick to my weight loss and health regimen. I lost 5 lbs my first week and I’m very dedicated. I’m working out again. I’m taking my frustrations out on the treadmill.No matter what happens I’m not giving up. Goal or bust. 

We can’t change the outcome of certain circumstances but we can change our thought process. We even may find some clarity to take necessary risks with our future. Sometimes you have to just jump and see where you land.

Breathe in, breathe out 

love and light

Namaste’

Rose