Category Archives: Mindset

NSV’s

I’m sitting in our courtyard waiting for my husband James. I’m so excited, we are going to see the film Rocket Man. We really loved Bohemian Rhapsody, and since we are such Elton John fans I’m sure we will love this film. Elton John is one of my favorites, and as a poet/writer I love lyricist Bernie Taupin. I often wish I can meet a musician so my words can become lyrics. 

As I sit here with my feet up, listening  to the mesmerizing sound of the fountain, I am so grateful to be back on my health journey. Yesterday I received my WW 5 lb key chain, and as I sit here in a tee shirt and jeans that I haven’t worn in over a year, I’m grateful for nsv’s ( non scale victories). 

NSV’s are the little moments that keep you going on a weight loss journey. Fitting into clothes you haven’t worn in forever, stepping away from late night cravings or second helpings you do not really need. For me, eating fruit instead of a vegan ice cream bar is a nsv, especially when I used up all of my daily points.

NSV’s are those simple yet wonderful achievements that keep you going. They set the tone of your wellness journey. They do not take the stage in dramatic fashion like before and after photos. They quietly cheer you on, and they are just as important to your weight loss quest as getting to your goal. They are the pebbles that line your path. Celebrate them, and cheer yourself on. You are doing a fantastic thing for yourself. What a victory that is. Congratulations on your simple and grand moments, and live in joy today. Love and Light. Rose 

 

 

WEIGHING IN ON WEIGHING IN

Take a laxative. Someone I know said that to me when I was discussing my Monday morning weigh in. It’s an old school way of prepping for the scale, something I’m all too familiar with from back in my teen years. It was probably a half joke and half serious statement, most dieters in bygone eras went to drastic measurements to reduce their size. What’s frightening is for a nano second I contemplated running to the grocery store after work to do just that.  

I didn’t buy laxatives, these days I understand the goal of losing weight is health, wellness and fitness. My scale is my guideline and my focus is on my fitness, my strength, flexibility and endurance. I understand working out combined with healthy eating can change the way I look, but more importantly; how I feel. I weigh myself to be accountable, and I believe it’s so important to get to a healthy BMI. I’m a work in progress, and sometimes those die-hard warped eating disorder thoughts creep in.   I recognize them, and I take action to lose weight with a healthy state of mind, mindset is so important when setting goals and choosing happiness.  

i lost another pound and my weight is currently 177 lbs. The changes on the scale are slow, and that’s perfect for me. I’m looking to change my lifestyle for good, not in some  unhealthy crash diet shortcut or in ways that could damage my health. I joined WW online because tracking helps me stay the course, and it helps keep me from obsessing about food. It’s so wonderful for someone like me, it keeps me from extreme dieting and bingeing. I’m losing weight for myself, and I’m accountable to the charity I picked, which keeps me really on point. I’m really looking forward to going to Henry’s Home and Horse Sanctuary. I’m really looking forward to progressing into the best version of myself. No laxatives, no weight loss crutches; only good old-fashioned hard work, sweat and a little patience. 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

CHEAT DAYS

Happy Wednesday to all. I had two cheat days this week, Easter’s vegan meal and leftovers the day after. I did not overeat at all, but the high fat vegan food just made me feel awful. It was high sodium and it caused me high anxiety. This made me realize it’s too soon in my new weight loss journey for cheat days. 

Do cheat days help or harm? Do they throw off your mindset of wellness and health? For me, at this moment they do. I feel cheat days in the beginning of my weight loss journey just put me back where I started. I have not yet earned my wellness, fitness and health. Down the line when I’ve mastered my plans I can have the occasional splurge , but for now it’s a big no. I don’t get cravings when I’m consistent. Health is just too important to me. 

Are cheat days a yay or nay for you? How far along are you in your weight loss/fitness/ wellness journey? For now I staying the course with my whole foods plant based lifestyle. Vegan junk food will always be there for when I need it. 

Current weight week of 4/22/2019 is 180lbs, after a 9 lbs loss since January 2019

Love and Light

Rose 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

It’s weigh in Monday, and I finally reached 180 lbs. I lost 3 lbs last week, my first week working out with my trainer Bethany.  In January I began charting my weight on my Loseitapp but I didn’t start blogging regularly again until the last few weeks. According to my app I’m down 9 lbs since January. I am very excited to see the scale move, but this is just practice. Now it’s time to really focus on my fitness as much as my food and to keep up the consistency. I’ve been a bit of a yo yo dieter, and blogger since I gained half my weight back. I’ve since retired my yo yo status. 

I took some before photos. I really took raw before photos, something I never did on this blog even when I began in 2013 when I weighed over 200 lbs. I decided to save the photos when I begin to feel fit again. I just do not have the heart to  share the photos at the moment. I’m working on regaining my confidence as well as my fitness, as I begin this new weight loss and wellness journey. To me the photos are an embarrassment, but necessary evil  to chart my progress. They are my secret motivation. 

Some of my regular weekday meals are so easy. I rely on these staples to get me through my week. Homemade black bean burgers on whole grain buns with vegetables.  Lentil soup two ways, Italian Style and chili style. Split Pea Soup. Main Dish salads with garbanzo beans and a ton of veggies. Garbanzo Bean salad sandwiches on toasted Ezekiel bread. I strive for convenience when I do my vegan meal prep.

I know I’m getting proper nutrition because I follow Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I have one vegan cheat meal once a week, within reason. On this day I experiment with vegan comfort food recipes. We do not eat out often because Houston doesn’t have many vegan options. I’m committed to the second phase of my weight loss and wellness journey and to regaining my happiness in mind and body. My body is my temple and my life is a gift, I’m repackaging it with a shiny new outlook. 

Love and Light to all. 

Rose 

 

 

 

National Scribble Day

It’s National Scribble Day, so this blog post is going to be the blog equivalent of scribbling. My thoughts are all scrambled, but not in a bad way. My job, ( waitressing) sometimes exhausts me and I admit to procrastinating in the things that are important to me. There is a new documentary on Netflix I really want to watch called Heal. It’s all about healing from a mind body perspective. This gets me thinking. Is my exhaustion real? Can I do things that make me feel more energized and ready to take on tasks that are important to me? I think the answer is a big yes. No excuses.

Posting more than once a week is definitely one of my many goals. I’m going to really work on my state of mind like I’m working on my nutrition and fitness. Yes, I work a very physical job, but I believe I can make it softer on my body with positivity and possibly some tools to help me along the way. Good shoe inserts, better pillows for sleep, a foot bath at the end of the night. No longer using my job as an excuse is a biggie. A massage now and then wouldn’t hurt. 

I did say it National Scribble Day, and I’m truly all over the place. I’m so excited for this brand new chapter in my blog/journey. I’m going to be doing a wonderful interview series with real influencers in fitness who focus on achieving goals and teaching others through a positive mindset. These are the women I look to for inspiration. Just in time since I have six months until I take my exam for The American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. Time to get fit again, study and get things done.

I didn’t weigh in today, I gave my mind a break. A budget friendly vegan grocery haul is needed, as I’m trying to get my hubby James to eat clean. He claims he cannot do it until I set him up. We’ve  been working on a positive mindset and it’s totally working. You are what you believe, you achieve only when you believe. We believe, we believe. 

Happy National Scribble Day. Go out and Scribble the vision board if your dreams. I know I am. I’m following a well lit path. 

love and light 

Rose