Category Archives: life’s lessons

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

Happy Wednesday. Above is the photo of my before and after on my first part of my weight loss blog journey 2013-2017. For anyone new reading this I started my blog to lose weight and support a new charity with each ten pounds I lost in 2013.  I reached my lowest weight of 159 lbs in May 2017 and helped many charities in Los Angeles and San Francisco. In my life really got really crazy. My Mother became ill and died May 21st, 2017. Two weeks later we moved from LA to Houston TX, and in December 2017 we lost our beloved Siamese Rascal after months of trying to save him. It was a rough year to say the least.

In 2018 we had some major life challenges and my blog really came to a halt. I would start and quit, mostly because those changes left scars on me, just like the Elton John song lyrics from the Funeral for a friend song. Those lyrics really speak to me. Sometimes changes in the form of challenges result in scars. For me those scars took on the form of excuses, and I just didn’t put in the work like I did in the past. I ended up gaining half my weight back and I was truly unhappy for the first time in a long time.

Now it’s the end of 2019 and I’ve come to the conclusion there’s always going to be challenges. Scars fade eventually and you will get new challenges with new scars, that’s life. I’ve decided to go after all of my goals, beginning here with my wellness, fitness and weight loss. I’m at it every day because when the new scars fade I won’t have to feel bad for quitting. Quitting is not in my vocabulary anymore. I was strong through my move from LA to San Francisco in 2014 and I kept going, and that’s what I’m doing now. I’m taking inspiration from my former self, with new scars motivating me to overcome new challenges.

It’s my new week three and I feel wonderful. Transitioning to night workouts is a game changer for me. There’s a peace about the gym at that time. I’m up late because I work late and my energy is high, so I’m utilizing that fact to go after my fitness goals instead of using work as an excuse. Last night I noticed my planks are getting stronger, and my balance doing warrior 3 is really improving. These are the changes that start my progress. I’m very proud of getting to where I am in my mindset, and proud I’m no longer using life’s problems as excuses. I’m doing all this as an even prouder vegan, I transitioned to veganism in 2018. It’s who I am and that I got right. I’m living my most authentic life.

You can choose happiness or misery, and I choose happiness. I’m no longer an excuse maker. I’m a goal setter and getter. I’m on the road to becoming an after, taking it one mile at a time. There are no shortcuts, nor will I veer off the road and head in a different direction. This is my journey and my positive mindset gets to decide where I’m going.

Happy Wednesday to all. Love and light, Rose 

MOBILE MEDITATION

Happy Tuesday. Today is day two of my workout challenge and my weight loss journey, I fell off the wagon again. My weight is 177 lbs, I will keep at it until I get it right.  My workout yesterday was so inspirational, it really made me wonder why I ever stopped in the first place. I started with my outdoor cardio for 40 minutes, did two rounds of my Benderfitness Monday/Wednesday/Friday workouts,(thanks to my bff Melissa) and ended with ten minutes on the rowing machine. My muscles felt the shaking that happens after a good workout. Day one sets the bar for day two. It was like coming home. It’s truly mobile meditation.

If you live in a mild climate or the weather is nice where you are I highly recommend doing some of your workout outdoors. There is nothing like being one with nature, wildlife and all the other walkers and runners getting their miles in. As I began walking, my eyes caught a woman walking a dog with three legs. My heart felt like it would just burst as I flashed her a big smile and a hand to my heart gesture as she smiled back at me. Through the course of my cardio I saw a young man with Down’s syndrome enjoying his jogging, a runner stop his pace to assist a family out of a swan boat, wildlife basking in the beauty of a Texas autumn day. You do not get the same experience from a treadmill. 

Finally I was finished, and I sat for a moment on a park bench and met the three legged dog Frisker. His fur parents are rescuers and I was able to snap a few shots of my muse for my day.

Frisker keeps going, he doesn’t let bad days or the fact he’s running on three legs stop him. If he can do it, so can I and so can you. Today is National make a dogs day but yesterday Frisker made my day. We are all connected. You definitely don’t get that type of rush indoors. I plan to get outside daily for some or all of my daily workouts. It’s definitely the kind of natural high five that keeps you motivated to do it again on day two.

What I got out of my  Monday was the beauty of life and living, nature and the kindness of people and animals, and best friends who come to your rescue even from afar. I also learned you may have challenges but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up. There’s power in consistency. There’s power in trying despite how hard it may be.

Keep on keeping on and pay attention, there is inspiration everywhere. 

Love and Light Rose

 

 

 

 

44 Day Challenge

Did you know it’s 44 days until Halloween arrives? This really begins the Autumn/Holiday season for many. My hubby James and I always have our little tradition. We eat burgers ( now vegan)  and carve pumpkins and drink cider, all watching scary movies. It’s a tradition we honored since our Pittsburgh days. This year we will not let that tradition slide by.

Today I’m starting a 44 day challenge. I’m going to try to show up here daily and share what I’m doing. I’m going to take it Day by day because I may change things up, but my plan is to focus on nutrition, fitness and goals. To show up daily despite my work schedule. I’ve lost 23 lbs but in my opinion I’ve been not working as hard as I can. I watched a video with Tao-Porchon Lynch and she really inspired me. So today begins my challenge. It’s 44 days until Halloween. Let’s do this!! 

No cheat days until Halloween. No pasta. Only whole grain foods in moderation. A little dark chocolate is ok. I’m really going to try to not eat my goodies at our bake sale, just the vegan healthy cookies but in moderation. No refined junk of any kind. I’m going to eat clean vegan. 

Daily Yoga Sun Salutations, and some other workouts. I’m using Melissa Bender Fitness, and my cardio will be walking, running etc. I plan to move 60 minutes a day plus ten sun salutations daily. Legs up a wall before bed. I don’t care if my workout before or after work, if I have time to sit and watch tv I have time to without. 1 hour plus ten sun salutations. Like that Pizza Guy on YouTube says, that’s the rules. Everybody knows the rules, everybody being me. 

The other things I will be adding will be addressed in future posts. What I’m reading, writing, who I’m watching for inspiration. Fun classes I may take, plus tools for self development. Products I use to help me heal and make me feel well again. I’m not sick but my body can be my temple again. Lots of personal goals I’m going to tackle. No procrastination. Today is the day. As I type this we found out an old friend in Pittsburgh PA lost his battle with Lung Cancer. He was only 38. Life is short. Do what you dream of doing today. RIP Chris Pierce. Thank you for your kindness.

RIP Chris

 

FINDING MY MOMENTUM

My favorite robe isn’t a real robe, but I decided to make it one. It sparks joy!!

Good Morning lovely people. It’s September 4th, can you believe it’s almost autumn?  Here in Houston it will stay hot for some time, eventually cooling down in the 70’s and 60’s. That means I can do my cardio outside or at the gym. If you are stressed out there is nothing like moving your body to an upbeat playlist. This is my non-negotiable. I plan to exercise every single damn day, even if it’s after work. I love seeing the big birds when I’m out getting my move on. They really inspire me to take flight. Today is national wildlife day!! 

I stalk birds.

I have three weight goals. My first weight goal is to get in the 160’s by the end of September. That should be easy if I focus on my willpower and fitness. My second weight loss goal is 159 lbs.  That was my weight when we moved to Houston from Los Angeles. I’m currently 174 lbs, down 15 lbs since this time last year. I have to work on my consistency. Stress got in my way, I ate too much Nada Moo( vegan ice cream). I didn’t track, because I chose to overeat. Overeating is a choice, and I’m guilty of it.

Stepping on the scale is a reset for me. I’m back to counting points. I plan to eat more zero point foods, fruits, veggies, beans and tofu. Yesterday I stayed in ww blue point range, that means I stayed within my point balance. My third weight loss goal is around 140 lbs. I also really want to not just focus on the scale, but really focus on my fitness. I need to get strong, flexible and fast. It’s been way too long. I also want to try new activities, like kayaking this beautiful waterway where I live. 

Nature and exercise is the cure to anxiety and stress.

Goals, sometimes I get so mad at myself when I think where I would be now if I didn’t slip up then. I don’t believe in looking too far back, but I need to realize my mistakes now so I don’t make them again. So when a few months goes by I can say I am in a better place then I was in early September. The key is to think about this before every bite I take. Why is it so hard to get back your willpower after a slip up? Have you struggled with this in your weight loss journey? I just have to regain my momentum beginning this week.

Well, it’s coffee time. Love and Light to all and Happy Wednesday. Let’s do this, one meal at a time. 

Spanky, coffee and a Garden of Life Protein Bar.

Lots of water after I wake up, and fruit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOSING WEIGHT IS A PROCESS

Losing weight is a process, in the beginning it’s easy but sticking it out takes extra willpower. Life gets sticky, and it gets in the way. It’s easy to fall of the wagon and stop the healthy patterns you’ve developed in the beginning of your weight loss journey. You will know when this happens, and when you realize it nip it in the bud. 

This week was challenging to say the least. Nothing worth mentioning just adulting and all that comes with it. I didn’t track for days. I almost went for vegan whoppers at Burger King on nights when work was slow and stressful. Waitressing has bad days and bad weeks, it’s normal but when you go into work and stand around it makes you question things. In the end it’s is the way of working in a restaurant, good days and bad days. It always seems like bad days come when you are stressed. Time to reboot and recalculate, like a gps. 

So today I recalculate, I’m trying to check my mood and mindset. I’m back to tracking. I’m planning for Monday and a better and more productive week. Writing my weekly goals on Sunday night. I’m going to try to stress less and be happy in the moments, even the mundane moments that drive me mad. No reason to slip up on my weight loss goals because of a bad week. It’s a marathon and not a sprint, this road to weight loss goals. 

Love and Light

Rose

PERSPECTIVE

Happy Tuesday to all. It’s day two of my 30 day yoga challenge, and as I step onto my mat I’m contemplating perspective. My practice begins with setting intentions, and each day I do 10 sun salutations. Afterwards, I may or may not practice savasana. I’m having issues with my toes, so I cannot roll them as I transition from up dog to down dog. Melissa from Melissa Bender Fitness told me yoga is not about rolling your toes, and for me to personalize and modify my practice to make it my own. 

This brings me to perspective as I muse my bodies strengths and limitations. A year ago I was visiting friends in Los Angeles, and I had lunch with one of my dearest friends. She was in recovery from surgery for a brain tumor. The doctors told her recovery would be weeks, but it was much longer and definitely much more challenging. She’s a dancer and Pilates instructor, and she showed up to physical therapy with self-pity because her life had radically changed. She walks with a cane and her body has spasms and tremors. She looked around physical therapy and realized she was the only person in the room who had all of her limbs, and she told me it taught her perspective. Very deep and enlightening.  I was in awe of her strength and resilience, and the fact she was able to learn something from the terrible ordeal of brain surgery. 

Today another friend of mine posted almost the exact experience, physical therapy after an ankle injury and how she noticed a man with artificial limbs in the room, she even hashtagged the same exact word, perspective.

Her story parallels the story from my other friend, and I realized this is a life lesson. A lot of us go through life, we start our fitness journeys with self loathing, or we are not content where we are in life. We constantly compare our progress to others. We look at others and sometimes we feel inadequate, the comparing game is very dangerous to your own personal fulfillment and happiness. It’s ok to look to others to gain inspiration, but not to make you feel any less. You are more than enough. 

These stories teach us to be happy in the present moment, and to understand our journey is unique to only us. We all should be grateful to be alive and to experience  whatever opportunities we have each and every day as we awaken. The person who doesn’t have limbs may be grateful they lived to see another day, and survived whatever it was that brought them to where they are today. 

Contemplate perspective each and every day and be present in this moment now, setting your intentions beginning with gratitude. It’s definitely very enlightening when we shift our negative thoughts into positive ones, choosing happiness despite the journey of life’s rocky roads. Just be sure to step over the rocks and move forward with perspective and self-love. Happy brand new beginnings to all, after all each day is a brand new beginning. 

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

National Scribble Day

It’s National Scribble Day, so this blog post is going to be the blog equivalent of scribbling. My thoughts are all scrambled, but not in a bad way. My job, ( waitressing) sometimes exhausts me and I admit to procrastinating in the things that are important to me. There is a new documentary on Netflix I really want to watch called Heal. It’s all about healing from a mind body perspective. This gets me thinking. Is my exhaustion real? Can I do things that make me feel more energized and ready to take on tasks that are important to me? I think the answer is a big yes. No excuses.

Posting more than once a week is definitely one of my many goals. I’m going to really work on my state of mind like I’m working on my nutrition and fitness. Yes, I work a very physical job, but I believe I can make it softer on my body with positivity and possibly some tools to help me along the way. Good shoe inserts, better pillows for sleep, a foot bath at the end of the night. No longer using my job as an excuse is a biggie. A massage now and then wouldn’t hurt. 

I did say it National Scribble Day, and I’m truly all over the place. I’m so excited for this brand new chapter in my blog/journey. I’m going to be doing a wonderful interview series with real influencers in fitness who focus on achieving goals and teaching others through a positive mindset. These are the women I look to for inspiration. Just in time since I have six months until I take my exam for The American Council of Exercise group exercise certification. Time to get fit again, study and get things done.

I didn’t weigh in today, I gave my mind a break. A budget friendly vegan grocery haul is needed, as I’m trying to get my hubby James to eat clean. He claims he cannot do it until I set him up. We’ve  been working on a positive mindset and it’s totally working. You are what you believe, you achieve only when you believe. We believe, we believe. 

Happy National Scribble Day. Go out and Scribble the vision board if your dreams. I know I am. I’m following a well lit path. 

love and light 

Rose

 

WEIGH IN

I had a little bug again, it’s been so cold here and everyone around me has been sick. It was just a quick cold and I’m back feeling  like brand new. 

Things are really starting to look brighter here, and I’m very inspired and motivated. I know I said I would only weigh myself once a month, but I lied. I am currently 182 lbs. I was 190 around the holidays. I am so excited to see the scale dropping again. I’m really trying to work on my nutrition and portion control. The Loseitapp keeps me in check. I keep a food journal daily, it helps me tremendously. I’m 24 lbs away from my lowest weight I reached on this blog, before the loss of my Mom and our move to Houston. I’m finding my way back to myself now, finding my way back to true happiness and all of my plans and goals. 

The one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is no matter how motivated I am, I am not perfect. I really believe in eating a Whole Foods, plant based way of living. Sometimes, I may splurge though. Cravings happen. The one thing I won’t do, is cheat on my vegan lifestyle. This is something that has nothing to do with diet, it’s my moral compass and I strive to follow what’s in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I strive to be my authentic self. So when I speak of occasionally splurging, I am referencing vegan fun foods that I choose to only eat occasionally. My daily way of eating is clean wfpb with limited oil, salt and sugar. I have chosen to say limited instead of completely omitting these items because like I stated before, I am far from perfect. 

As I type this latest post I’m watching Madonna. She is probably my earliest inspiration and one of the reasons I chose to dance in college. I’m getting back to my fitness and I’m excited to say I’m taking the American Council of Exercise group exercise exam in September. My plan is to start with dance inspired group classes. I learned a lot after  being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, and I plan to use all my experiences in this blog as well as my classes. I’m lucky to have real women in fitness in my life, inspiring me and making a difference with their fitness careers. I’ve decided I would like to interview these wonderful real women warriors, so stay tuned. It will be a week long series, with one interview each day for seven days. My real life inspirations. I’m nothing without my influences. 

I will leave you with a snippet of an interview I saw with Jennifer Lopez. She said she remembers seeing Madonna running in Central Park. Here was this big star, but she was working hard. So if you have a dream, a goal or a plan; start by working hard. It’s the cement of the building blocks of your goals. Go get it now, but start at the base and build upon it with sweat and dedication. Don’t forget your inspirations and influences, they are there to teach you if you are willing to learn. We all uplift each other. 

If you believe you will achieve, but you have to put the work in. Nothing of worth comes for free. Believe, Achieve, Become the butterfly.