Category Archives: female weight struggles

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WEIGHT LOSS AFTER LOSS

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Losing a loved one knocks you down,and then you get back up and the memories knock you over again. It is a never-ending cycle, this grief stuff. I guess I just need to navigate my way around the emotional grenades and go on, and we must go on. 

Losing weight after losing a loved one, this is what is on my mind at the moment. Nothing knocked me down, nothing until I lost my Mother. I made it to my lowest weight on this journey, 159 lbs and I did it through a move from LA to San Francisco, my husband’s job loss and a move back to LA. I kept going through all of those life changes, and life did not break me and I never gained a pound. I kept losing and I am proud to say I did it, until the last month.

Now life after losing my Mother left me with a few pounds of extra weight. I admit I fell of the wagon. That’s the thing about wagons, they keep going, you just have to catch up and jump back on. I am committing to my healthy lifestyle and workouts and goals, it is not easy now. Our new kitchen is barely set up but I can do this. It starts today, I know how to do this and I know how to get to where I am going. I am back on the wagon and on the road to all of my goals. I will lose the 10 lbs I gained and get to my goals.

I am about to run to the grocery store, my hubby James is working and we need something healthy to eat. I am going to wear my runners belt and run there even with this heat and humidity. I plan on making a schedule soon, and tomorrow I have an interview to work in a local restaurant for some extra cash for my goals and our new life. I will post my workout/running/yoga schedule once I begin my job and new routine. No more slacking off. 

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I would love to know how you kept working towards your goals through a life crisis. What tips do you follow to keep at it? We are all here to inspire each other.

So much love and Light

Rose

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WEIGH IN DAY

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Good Morning to all, and what a beautiful Monday it is here in West Hollywood. I am off today and tomorrow, wrapping up my days of cat sitting two beautiful Lilac Siamese. Noodles and Peaches are my other Siamese loves, and my cats have been missing me so it will be time to go home. 

It is weigh in day and I am so happy I stayed the same at 159 lbs, I skipped the last few weeks. My scale broke, and I got frustrated with things. I am still 24 lbs to goal, and with everything going on in my life I admit to having just a few cheat days. Friday night I ate a huge tuna sub from subway, and I definitely felt ill the day after. It made me realize that my eating plan is not just about weight and appearance. It is about how I feel, my health and well-being. I had heartburn for the first time in a very long time, and I didn’t even recognize the symptoms. If you can see from the graph above I have plateaued again since February, but that is ok, No  weight gains is great for me.

I decided on Sunday to get back on track, still counting my points but going back to an anti-inflammation diet and every Monday I can deviate just a little. That way I am eating not to lose weight only, but to continue to feel good and energetic. Mondays will be the only day I consume things like flour. I believe in this type of program but I also know it is good to allow treats and deviations, just not all the time.

Here is a link to a good list of food for this type of eating from Melissa Bender Fitness.  http://www.benderfitness.com/2017/01/anti-inflammatory-diet-grocery-list.html

Today I am reveling in the fact the scale stayed the same. I feel good, and I will not be deviating this day because I am getting back on track. Next Monday will be my semi cheat day. Today it is all non processed foods with lots of produce.

My knee is healing and I feel my shoulder is too, so soon I will hit the pavement running again and start my work out schedule. I decided to rest so I would not be down for the count for longer than need be. I listened to my body even though I wanted to ignore it, and I am feeling so much better now. I have weaned myself off any pain pills for my knee too, I do not need them anymore and they made me feel awful. The last few weeks I have been walking but that is it. It is hard to slow down but I am healing.

That is all for today. I am going to go down to the pool and take a dip, or if it is too cold go in the jacuzzi.  I am celebrating that the scale stayed the same, it will be much easier now to get back on track.

It’s a lifestyle not a diet. Love and Light to all.

Rose

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

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Happy Monday to all. Today is Weigh in Monday and I decided to skip my weigh in, and weight til next Monday. Notice the spelling of wait? I need to step away from the scale, scale back from the stress of the numbers. I had a really rough week, and there are some extra stresses at the moment in my life, and I am no stranger to chaos, stress and change. How I will handle these changes will be determined in the weeks to come, but today I am breathing and just taking one moment at a time. That is all you can do anyway.

Last week I went to the ER, fell and injured my knee days later, and had a personal crisis put upon my plate. I did not track my food, I really just lost interest in logging, but I caught myself and today I begin anew, and next week I will jump back on the scale with renewed vigor no matter what the outcome is. One of the keys to losing weight is staying consistent even when life throws you lemons. Take those lemons, make lemon bars and share with others. Kindness to others always makes you feel better when you are down.

I also had a lot of positives happen this week too. I got my hair done and I am so happy with it.

My next story I pitched for Mt Lebanon Magazine was accepted. Here is the link to the first essay they published about me and Melissa from Melissa Bender Fitness. (http://lebomag.com/a-newfound-friendship/) I sent off more submissions to other magazines and websites in regards to my writing, my poetry, and my weight loss story. My book Camellia in Snow, here is the link,  (https://www.amazon.com/Camellia-Snow-Rose-Bruno-Bailey/dp/1515347141/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 )  will be at Books Soup and Vroman’s in May.

Every day is an opportunity for success, even if the success is just a tiny glimpse of success that is to come. Keep dreaming no matter what is going on around you.

Now I wait and look for more places to write for and to submit. If I fall and tumble, I will pick myself off, dust my ego and keep moving forward no matter how slow. When I am down I will write, and when I am up I will run. No matter what life throws at me, I will channel it into something positive. I don’t know where I am going, but I know I am a go getter.

Namaste’ 

Love and Light

Rose

 

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NOT A NUMBER

 

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What is a number? Are we defined by numbers? Think about it, how many times a day does someone ask for your bank number, your credit number, your age, weight and phone number? Do we have names or numbers? I admit sometimes I wonder if people think differently about me after I share with them my age number. I admit to being so excited about my weight loss and the fact I finally weigh in the 150’s. Does that mean I am different than what I once was? There is a fine line between past and present, here and then. At the end I choose to be Rose. Not better but not worse, just the same me who is just so grateful to see yet another day. I’m just getting stronger and healthier. I will never lose sight of any of my dreams and goals just because society has deemed me a number. Names not numbers.

Rose Bruno Bailey

 

Happy Monday to all. Monday is my Saturday, since I am off Mondays and Tuesdays. It is also my weigh in day, and the day I allow a little wiggle room into my healthy eating plan after I jump on the scale. Today my treat of choice is Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake from Canter’s Deli in Los Angeles. They bake everything homemade and the Russian Chocolate Coffee Cake is my favorite. Of course with some delicious cinnamon coffee from Dunkin Donuts my day is dusted with sugar and spice and everything that is nice about the simpler moments of life. A little quiet time to enjoy my treat, and retreat into the cavern of my mind and do a little writing. Even the most extroverted person needs a bit of solace found in silence.

Weigh in day, my updates have been the same for over a month. It seems my body has decided 159 feels good, 159 feels strong. My body is telling me to get off the scale and focus on fitness; work on your running, flexibility and yoga practice and I will get back to you when I am good and ready. That is the message I am getting from my body after one month of stepping on a scale that is not cooperating. I have finally deciphered the translation in the numbers, get off the scale and get moving.  YOU ARE NOT THIS NUMBER. 

Message heard loud and clear. I am not a number. I am still going to pay attention to the scale, because even in maintaining weight loss it is good to know where you stand; just don’t stand on the scale more than once a week. Jump on, mentally record where you are and get moving. This week I am back to focusing on my fitness now that my toe is on the mend. I have also found a way to do my Yoga Sun Salutations without injuring my rotator cuff any further, and I will post about it in a few weeks. 

I love life, and that means loving the body I am in. I am not chasing a new body, but a body that is stronger and healthier to allow me to achieve all of the goals I set for myself and to keep living my best life.

I have come a long way from where I was in 2013 and I am grateful, and I will continue on this journey; losing weight without getting to caught up on the numbers on the scale. The numbers are there to guide me, but not to define me.

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Love and Light and Happy Monday,

Rose 17308904_1436309309747864_4383739146682615547_n

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TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY

Good morning to all. Happy Transformation Tuesday. Yesterday was my weigh in day, and I stayed the same holding steady at 159 lbs. Being at this weight gives me a little anxiety. You may ask why being the lowest weight since I began my weight loss would cause anxiety. This is the reason: I know that weight can go up and down, even during a weight loss journey. I stayed the same for two weeks, and I lost 9 lbs since the middle of January. I know there will be a time when I do everything right and the scale will stay the same or tip back up. I just do not want it to go up when I am in the high 150’s. This may seem silly, but I am so proud to make it to the 150’s, and I want to stay here for some time. Since I broke my plateau in January 2017  I lost 10% of my body weight. That is a win to me.

This photo was me in 2013, well above 210. This is me today at 159 lbs and so proud.17190854_1425955677449894_8538028883844596331_n

This begins a brand new week. I am really loving Weight Watchers Online and having the app on my phone. It is freedom and totally liberating to me. I eat healthy and have done so since 2013, but the little bit of wiggle room I have now makes this feel more like a lifestyle than deprivation. If you remember I went six months without a cheat day, and that drove me crazy, and I didn’t lose a pound in those six months. Balance, I am finding my balance. Yesterday I had a inspirational brunch with a friend Emily at Mel’s Drive in West Hollywood. Eating out doesn’t have to be impossible. We split our entree and made healthy choices. The omelette was egg whites with veggies, cooked dry with no cheese. I had a few of the grilled potatoes. It was all about the coffee and conversation. Balance is key to life, and enjoying yourself makes it worth living.

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Speaking of balance, I am working on my fitness, my yoga and my running. I am also a bit of a klutz and I bruised my toe. I do not know how, but I have injured two toes in the last few years, and bruised one toe I previously injured. I did not trip on my own feet, it was choreography. They say dancers and former dancers tend to be klutzy, and I am here to say that is a true fact for me. Today I feel so much better, so I will get out for a walk and perhaps a run. I do really need proper running shoes. I have learned that shoes make all the difference. I prefer Saucony. Do you have a favorite running shoe?

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I am learning that weight loss and fitness is not linear. It is up and down, and back up again. There will be times when your body tells you slow down, and times when you kick it up a notch. The key is to listen to your body. Don’t let setbacks stop you, take a rest than keep moving forward. It is Transformation Tuesday and for me transformation would be impossible without the day in, day out daily hustle to get to my goals. Have fun while you are out killing it.

Lee Strasberg once said, It’s about the work. 

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MAKE IT COUNT MONDAY

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“Don’t give up! It’s not over. The universe is balanced. Every set-back bears with it the seeds of a come-back.”
Steve Maraboli

Good Day to all, it is  Weigh In Monday and I am off for two days. I love to use my days off to catch up on my writing and my plans. I am always redesigning my life, even when set backs happen. I continue to forge forward always, and I never give up. I love this quote above, it truly speaks to me.

I think I am going to call Weigh in Day “MAKE IT COUNT MONDAY.” It has a special kind of hopeful ring to it.

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This week the scale did not budge, but I expected that. I stayed at 159 lbs. I know the scale can sometimes be that fickle friend, one day it shows you love and the next day it stands you up. There you are, standing on the scale with all the hopes of the hard work you put in the previous week, and then nothing. Not one bit of movement, no matter how many times you step on the darn contraption. 

Weighing in should not cause that much drama, do not view the scale as a frenemy; someone you love to hate. Instead embrace the process, weight loss is just like life; you will have your ups and downs. Each week is a brand new chance to reinvent your approach. This week I did not feel well, I felt a bladder infection coming on and I drank all my extra points in cranberry juice. I knew the extra calories of all that juice could alter my outcome on the scale, but my body needed healing. I recently discovered cranberry pills, highly recommended by friends and I am now on the mend. Remember, this is all for your health and wellness. I am completely fine with the scale staying the same this week.

I am embracing the process of the journey. I am going to work harder on my fitness this week, and keep my food clean and keep my points on point. Monday is my splurge day, but I will not go overboard. Splurging within my point range.I will make an effort to get at least 6-8 fruits and vegetables a day. Maybe I should begin making smoothies with veggies again. I will stay motivated and put in the work, it is all about the work.

My workout schedule for this week:

The 3 W’s. Four days a week on my work days after work, I will do my workouts by #benderfitness. I am tailoring them to the fact I have a shoulder injury, and I will also be doing exercises for my shoulder to help myself heal. I will complete two walks a day on my work days. This is all easy to remember, if I work, I workout and walk. The 3 W’s, walk, workout on work days.  http://www.benderfitness.com

Three days a week I will run, I will work up to 3 miles each day. I will also do home yoga and flexibility training 3 days a week. Again, 3 days off equals 3 miles. No way I can forget this plan. Here is my yoga, flexibility and running plans.

http://www.benderfitness.com/2015/05/5k-training-for-new-runners.html

http://www.benderfitness.com/2016/10/daily-yoga-challenge-10-sun-salutations.html

http://www.benderfitness.com/category/flexibility-training

I will work on sleeping better, and not stressing even though life can sometimes throw a pie in your face, and trust me I have dodged a lot of pies lately. Willpower, a good attitude and a smile works wonders; and perhaps just a taste of the pie. 

I am off for now. Namaste’ Love and Light.

Happy Monday,

Make it Count

Rose

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WEIGHT LOSS MILESTONE

16387009_1393904893988306_2621029889834396704_nMy weigh in day is on Monday. I am working so hard, and I really get excited for weighing in. This week I finally made it into the 150’s, a milestone I have been chasing for over a year. I finally broke my long time plateau with Weight Watchers Online and I lost 9 lbs in a little over a month. That is 10% of my body weight.

I lost my initial weight between the summer of 2013 and 2016 and than the scale just stopped moving. I continued to work hard on my fitness and I continued to eat healthy but nothing could get the numbers to go down. I even kept off every pound through an ongoing crisis. I never gave up nor will I ever give up. One day I will write about the crisis I am in, but for now I keep all of that private.

I can officially say I am 24 lbs from my goal weight of 135 lbs.

Cue Happy Happy face.
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I CHEATED ( this is what happened)

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

Marilu Henner

The dreaded scale after the holidays, how many of you faced it today? I did, and I gained five pounds. I knew I put on a few pounds so I felt there was no reason to avoid the scale. Better to know now, as I begin anew in 2017 with my weight loss and fitness goals.  One of the reasons I feel this happened because I went so extreme on my diet for five months.  than I ate whatever I felt like eating off and on in between Thanksgiving and New Years. I did not plan to eat with abandon, it just happened. I am human.

My plan for my next 10 lb charity is to deliver the blankets I am collecting for the homeless to the Midnight Mission when I lose 10 lbs and finally make it into the 150’s. 159 I am coming for you.

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I am here to tell you one or two cheat meals are ok, but every day cheating for a few weeks left me feeling as crappy as the food I ate. I thought maybe I would feel the joy of the holidays if I indulged, I worked every holiday and I was trying to find my joy elsewhere. This year the holidays lacked sparkle for me. I am here to remind you and remind myself that food is not the answer to happiness. A little moderation is better than an all out binge. It left me feeling empty and not healthy. I felt bloated, ill and my stomach and joints felt off kilter. It did not bring me the joy I was seeking, it did the opposite.

Marilu Henner got it right on the nose, but I was lucky I only gained five pounds since Thanksgiving. Now I have to back track a little, but no complaining. I got this. Lesson learned for the future. Back to the 80/20 rule. Eat healthy almost all the time, but leave room for occasional treats, of course within portion control. 

Life is not linear; you have ups and downs. It’s how you deal with the troughs that defines you.

Michael Lee-Chin

Back to the drawing board, as I sketch the 2017 I envision. I need to do some grocery shopping and I am reading health magazines for ideas. I am on day three of Melissa Bender Fitness 30 day Challenge. ( I am behind so I am doing one round of day two and one round of day three so I can be in sync with Melissa.I am also going to join her and work on my flexibility.  Here is the link. I got 2017 by the collar and I am showing this year whose the boss. Who is with me? Let’s do this. 15870575_10154786151473617_1135422458_n

http://www.benderfitness.com/2017/01/muffin-top-meltdown-body-weight-exercises-to-burn-fat-strengthen-your-core.html

 

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FINDING BALANCE

Happy Monday to all. If you have been following my progress you know I challenged myself to go from the summer solstice to the winter solstice without a cheat on my diet. I was eating clean, and I was going strong. Five months I pulled this off, five months of looking away at every thing that tempted my resolve. Five months of ups and downs in my life, and never once did I drown my problems with food. I am proud of this fact.

To blame my break in my challenge on someone else is weak, but it is the truth that my husband James really wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner with him. So on Thanksgiving I cheated on my diet. I didn’t overeat, but I ate foods I had deemed unhealthy, and I realized. There was no balance in my approach to losing weight anymore. I was again in a position of all or nothing. This taught me a lesson. It is ok to have the occasional cheat day, the occasional cookie, the occasional french fry. It is not ok to fill your body all the time with junk, but to occasionally eat off program is ok. There is no good and bad food, there is just food and the choices you make. 

Where did five months of eating completely strict get me? Honestly I am at my lowest weight since I started this blog but I have not lost a pound in weeks. Yes, I kept my weight off with diet and exercise but I could have done just as great following portion control and the 80/20 rule. Eat healthy 80 percent of the time and allow for those occasional treats. Going to the extreme leads to eating disorders and creates imbalance in your life. It creates a mind body struggle that is not positive. So I am moving forward with balance all while still maintaining my healthy lifestyle. I still believe in eating clean and whole foods, and I will move forward doing so. With that said I will be watching my portions and using the loseit app to count my calories. And yes, there will be occasional splurges within this new program of mine. I plan to get to my goal weight in 2017 and all of my fitness goals, without driving myself insane. After all a mere half of a muffin never hurt anyone. 

I am proud of all of my accomplishments, and as I approach my milestone birthday in less than two weeks I am motivated for all that is to come in the brand new year. I am going to stop having a love/hate relationship with food and learn to accept it into my life with gratitude as I continue with my healthy food and fitness lifestyle.

As I type this I realized I did not eat today, sometimes that happens to me but not often. I am human and with that comes flaws. As I type I “eye spy” a muffin and I am thinking of buying it and eating half or maybe a quarter. This new balance lifestyle is so weird but I feel confident I can continue by counting it in with my loseit app. and keep the majority of my food plan clean and healthy. I will soar with the 80/20 rule. I am 164 lbs and dropping. 

As I eat this beautiful sweet treat, I will savor it slowly and have gratitude for all the abundant blessings in my life. Life is sweeter when you find balance. 15357064_10154683100663617_1585865817_n

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CRISIS CHALENGES

It is Thanksgiving week and it never escapes me how lucky I am, despite being in what seems to be a long-term financial crisis. I keep dieting and exercising through my challenges. This week we had yet another disappointment, but I am not going to allow myself to wallow in my woes. I took a moment yesterday, cried in my coffee over conversation with my dear friend Mary. I shared with her some things that concern me about being in a financial crisis as a weight loss blogger. My friend is a fixer type of friend, she is completely giving and the kind of person who tries to come up with solutions to your issues. She is amazing and I am lucky to have her around the corner. I am thankful indeed for all of my friends, family, my husband James and our beloved Siamese cats Rascal and Spanky. I am thankful for life.

I decided to do a quick post and share my thoughts and concerns about being in a financial crisis and how it affects my blog, These thoughts are ridiculous to me when I type them up, but they are my feelings. Being in a financial crisis puts a limit on a lot of spending. If you know me, you know I am more interested in helping others, in reveling in nature than I am about material possessions. With that said, everyone likes nice things, and I am not immune to that fact. If you follow fellow weight loss bloggers and well as fitness bloggers it seems a lot of the things they post I cannot post because of my situation. I feel like I do not measure up. This is not a pity statement, rather a way to get it out and share and to come up with other ways to be a motivational weight loss blogger during my lean time. I love that I said lean, because despite my crisis, I can say I accomplished my lowest weight on my blog. I did it even though there were times I wanted to dive head first in a vat of chocolate cake batter. It has been five months without a cheat day, and I have one more month to go. My workouts are at www.benderfitness.com which are all free. My equipment is weights, a mat and again a pair of worn shoes. Here are my silly concerns and how I am moving past them. I keep moving.a02b9032-b84b-415f-b804-150a63cc676414705636_1268334023212061_7219886695795970552_n

  1. My running shoes have seen their best day. I almost did not go to the last Richard Simmons Slimmons class out of embarrassment. I shared this in a private group, and the beautiful support that came my way through the Slimmons family taught me I am not an embarrassment. Someone even kindly offered to mail me shoes his wife has never worn. That touched me but it was not why I posted it, I just felt the need to vent. I am grateful to him and the whole Slimmons family, and as I type I am sporting my proudly worn Asics. They still feel good when I walk and run, and I am proud of all my steps. I am proud where these shoes have been, and where I am going.15073486_10154639242963617_6508711910709230700_n15078580_10154628087623617_8586468506395100455_n
  2. Instagram is filled with photos of people posting work out gear. I love nice work out clothes too, so I love liking the photos. I cannot do that now, and that is OK. I will find other ways to share my journey. So I am at my lowest weight on my blog and I am not clothes shopping. It will come soon enough, perhaps when I hit my ultimate weight loss goal. For now I keep keeping on and staring as trees as I run in my worn shoes. This gives me something to work for and something to look forward to. Perhaps a fun photo shoot when I finally reach that elusive weight loss goal of 135 lbs. The new clothes can wait, I am refocusing on the work. It is all about the hard work, the health and the wellness. And of course the connections with people.12592393_10153807006948617_2827822076568560780_n
  3. Races. I have done a few and I wish to do more. They are not cheap.  I  hope to run in a race in the new year. In the meantime, I will maybe do a virtual race and ask my followers to run along with me virtually. In 2015 I ran across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and that was such a high on national 4/20 day. I can find another place to do a run here in LA, some place that really is special. As long as I keep running in my worn shoes I will reach my dream destination. I am a work in progress.unnamed-15
  4. Recipes and Food. Lately I have fallen off the wagon with cooking and shopping for groceries. We are keeping our diet simple, and I eat a lot of my meals at work. I tend to rely on the same fast and healthy options. It does not leave me much time or money to make elaborate recipes and that is OK. We have food, we eat healthy, we are grateful. Tonight I am off and trying a couple of healthier autumn treats. I am going to bake apples and make a baked sweet potato with just a few pecans, marshmallows and banana. I will post these budget friendly recipes. I can do one or two new recipes a week. I love shopping at thrift stores and finding treasures on a dime. This is my vintage Cuisinart food processor that I made black bean brownies with. 13731689_1191796280865836_7205266471736481432_n
  5. My Blanket Drive. I wanted to hold a boot camp to raise blankets for the Midnight Mission in LA for the Homeless. This is my next charity. I ended up sick and I have an injured rotator cuff so this felt like a failure to me. The game may have changed, but the prize is still the same. I am collecting blankets for the homeless and I will continue to do so from now until I deliver them to The Midnight Mission in December. It is getting Cold here in LA and the blankets are needed. Here are my thoughts on blankets for the homeless.http://mychangeforaten.com/1750-2/ I am getting to my goals despite the issues and nuances of life. My best friend Melissa Bender called me Mulan today. I am a warrior fighting my metaphorical huns. Much love and light, I am thankful for you. Happy Thanksgiving to all. Remember to treat your body like a temple but still enjoy life. It is the holiday so it is totally acceptable to indulge and share delicious fare with family and friends. Try to watch your portions and maybe get out for a walk or run. xocirque11