Category Archives: clean eating

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption

 

 

 

CHEAT DAYS

Happy Wednesday to all. I had two cheat days this week, Easter’s vegan meal and leftovers the day after. I did not overeat at all, but the high fat vegan food just made me feel awful. It was high sodium and it caused me high anxiety. This made me realize it’s too soon in my new weight loss journey for cheat days. 

Do cheat days help or harm? Do they throw off your mindset of wellness and health? For me, at this moment they do. I feel cheat days in the beginning of my weight loss journey just put me back where I started. I have not yet earned my wellness, fitness and health. Down the line when I’ve mastered my plans I can have the occasional splurge , but for now it’s a big no. I don’t get cravings when I’m consistent. Health is just too important to me. 

Are cheat days a yay or nay for you? How far along are you in your weight loss/fitness/ wellness journey? For now I staying the course with my whole foods plant based lifestyle. Vegan junk food will always be there for when I need it. 

Current weight week of 4/22/2019 is 180lbs, after a 9 lbs loss since January 2019

Love and Light

Rose 

WEIGH IN DAY

Happy Monday to all. It is spring and Easter week. A time for rebirth. I weighed in this morning and I stayed at 183 lbs, which is fine for me. My food choices have been erratic and I ate vegan processed foods and skipped meals. I didn’t plan and I realized how important it is to plan going forward. 

I am beginning to do some meal prepping and I started bringing food with me to work, no more eating at midnight after work. I’m really planning on focusing on my nutrition and getting in most of Dr Greger’s Daily Dozen. I’m also keeping a food journal, I started yesterday. 

I’m starting completely over with my weight loss and my fitness journey. My past successes and past failures mean nothing to me now. I’m looking forward and my number one goal is health and fitness. I admit to feeling terrible about gaining half my weight back. My ego is bruised, I feel the f word and it doesn’t feel good. So today I begin with a healthy narrative,  only positive vocabulary. No fat shaming myself, no more feeling like a big fat ugly failure.

I’m focusing on the beauty that is life and the wonderful opportunities I have because I am alive. I’m moving forward with kindness for myself. I live with a kindness motto but I’ve been less than kind to me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to really try to be on this blog daily and share everything. 

This was yesterday’s food journal. My work days will look like this, for me it’s easier to keep it simple on my work days. Cooking and experimenting with recipes will be saved for days off. I plan to have one vegan cheat day ( within reason) once a week. This week my cheat day is Easter Sunday.  The food journal below was around 1,500 calories and over 60 grams of protein. I’m starting this all again, same blog since 2013 but with a vegan brand new vibe. Up next, my new fitness journey. Treat yourself kind as you begin to be healthy.

Namaste, love and Light

Breakfast:

Vegan protein bar, coffee with soy creamer and 1 tablespoon Black strap molasses.

Lunch

Smoothie with 8 oz. organic soy milk, 2 cups spinach, 1/2 cup berries, half banana, 1 tbs flax seed, 2 tbs peanut butter, 1/2 cup carrots.  Half cup of unsalted garbanzo beans.

Dinner

2 cups romaine, 1/2 cup tomatoes, 1/4 cup red onions, 1 baked potato, 1/2 cup garbanzo beans. Topped with red wine vinegar and 1 tablespoon of champagne vinaigrette.

Snack

1 slice low sodium Ezekiel bread with 1 tablespoon Polaner all fruit strawberry spread.

Lots of water and fresh lemon.

 

WEIGH IN MONDAY

Happy St Patty’s Day. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday. This weekend I splurged a little on a veggie burger, tater tots, and Nada Moo Chocolate Chip Mint. My hubby made me a splurge meal, and the vegan ice cream was my version of a vegan shamrock shake. 

i rarely eat salt, and I try to not eat vegan processed foods on a regular basis. I weighed in this morning up a pound. I understand it’s water weight and I’m ok with it. I don’t plan to eat salty foods on a regular basis. I’m trying to eat mostly Whole Foods, plant based most of my days. I’m also trying to find balance with food. My aim is good nutrition, but I don’t want to become obsessive. I want my focus to be on fitness and health. I also occasionally think it’s ok to live a little. 

This week my plan is to focus on Whole Foods, with just one treat. My treat will be a small pastry or item from a new vegan bakery I’m hoping to try. I will let you know if I do. A vegan bakery and cafe opening up where I live in The Woodlands TX is a rare occurrence. I’m so excited to go there. 

I plan to eat to my standards, my vegan stance is a personal moral decision. There is no cheating, it’s a lifestyle not a diet. My weight loss/health Whole Foods plant based journey is a process, one where I may splurge from time to time. There’s a difference with the two, but I’m trying to balance it all. After all I’m human. 

Weigh in today up 1lb 183

Short term goal is 159 ( my weight before I moved from Los Angeles to Texas in May 2017) 

Next stop beginning my fitness journey all over again. Stay tuned. 

Love and light and Irish Blessings 

Rose 

 

 

 

 

 

WEIGH IN

I had a little bug again, it’s been so cold here and everyone around me has been sick. It was just a quick cold and I’m back feeling  like brand new. 

Things are really starting to look brighter here, and I’m very inspired and motivated. I know I said I would only weigh myself once a month, but I lied. I am currently 182 lbs. I was 190 around the holidays. I am so excited to see the scale dropping again. I’m really trying to work on my nutrition and portion control. The Loseitapp keeps me in check. I keep a food journal daily, it helps me tremendously. I’m 24 lbs away from my lowest weight I reached on this blog, before the loss of my Mom and our move to Houston. I’m finding my way back to myself now, finding my way back to true happiness and all of my plans and goals. 

The one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is no matter how motivated I am, I am not perfect. I really believe in eating a Whole Foods, plant based way of living. Sometimes, I may splurge though. Cravings happen. The one thing I won’t do, is cheat on my vegan lifestyle. This is something that has nothing to do with diet, it’s my moral compass and I strive to follow what’s in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I strive to be my authentic self. So when I speak of occasionally splurging, I am referencing vegan fun foods that I choose to only eat occasionally. My daily way of eating is clean wfpb with limited oil, salt and sugar. I have chosen to say limited instead of completely omitting these items because like I stated before, I am far from perfect. 

As I type this latest post I’m watching Madonna. She is probably my earliest inspiration and one of the reasons I chose to dance in college. I’m getting back to my fitness and I’m excited to say I’m taking the American Council of Exercise group exercise exam in September. My plan is to start with dance inspired group classes. I learned a lot after  being in the Richard Simmons video and taking his classes, and I plan to use all my experiences in this blog as well as my classes. I’m lucky to have real women in fitness in my life, inspiring me and making a difference with their fitness careers. I’ve decided I would like to interview these wonderful real women warriors, so stay tuned. It will be a week long series, with one interview each day for seven days. My real life inspirations. I’m nothing without my influences. 

I will leave you with a snippet of an interview I saw with Jennifer Lopez. She said she remembers seeing Madonna running in Central Park. Here was this big star, but she was working hard. So if you have a dream, a goal or a plan; start by working hard. It’s the cement of the building blocks of your goals. Go get it now, but start at the base and build upon it with sweat and dedication. Don’t forget your inspirations and influences, they are there to teach you if you are willing to learn. We all uplift each other. 

If you believe you will achieve, but you have to put the work in. Nothing of worth comes for free. Believe, Achieve, Become the butterfly. 

 

PLANNING AND PLANTS

 

We should all be eating fruits and vegetables as if our lives depend on it – because they do.

Michael Greger

 

Happy Monday to all. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Last week I began my 35 days of a whole foods, plant-based lifestyle. I am vegan for the animals and planet, and wfpb for my health. It is a learning curve, but I am researching and really learning a lot. My plan is to do 35 days of my wfpb lifestyle, and allow one cheat day; then continue for another 35 days. It just so happens my cheat days coincide with holidays. My cheat days are as follows, St Patrick’s Day, Easter Sunday and Memorial day. I also will be off on all three days so that’s quite the lucky hand. I am hoping on one of those days we can drive to Austin TX and dine at one of their many vegan restaurants.

I plan on posting my grocery list, meals and recipes as I go forward. I am really feeling so energetic after just one week. Let me add, this is not difficult for me, feeling so well keeps me going. More to come in future posts. I also plan on weighing myself once a month, and have blood work done in three months. I am really curious how this will reflect in a cholesterol test.

This week I begin my cardio, yoga and stretching. I plan to start with speed walking and work my way back into running. I have more plans for March for my workouts, and I am taking the steps I need to get in the best shape I can be. February is all about nutrition and getting back to moving daily. It is heart healthy month and that is my motivation, to be heart healthy. I also have some exciting news to share soon. 

In the past on this blog I shared photos consistently, this time I am being a little more reserved. I will share photos when I feel it is time. At the moment I will be sharing the results that you cannot see. It is like Faith. I am keeping the faith and I wish you the same blessings.

Love and Light

Namaste’

Rose

 

 

 

 

It’s a Lifestyle

Happy Day after Valentine’s Day to all. I hope the special day brought you joy, whether you have a valentine or not. I work in a restaurant at night so my day was all work and no play. That’s ok, it’s my hump day and soon my my off days will be here. I’m working hard for the money and grateful for my blessings. 

It’s day 4 of my 30 day Whole Foods plant-based challenge. I’m vegan and I’m trying to lean more towards a cleaner way of taking care of my temple. Day 4 and I feel fabulous, not as fatigued from waiting tables. For a while I thought I was getting sick, or old, and now I realize I just wasn’t feeding my body correctly. I’m doing the challenge to help myself kick it into high gear, to be accountable. At the end I will have a delicious vegan cheat day and do another 30 day challenge. I’m going to do this plan going forward. I plan to check my cholesterol in a few months, to see how this is working for my body. Staying away from all oils is the biggest hurdle, but I’m sticking to it. In 30 days I will jump on the scale, and going forward I will only weigh myself once a month. 

We had a cat health scare with Max, but it was a false alarm. I will take him in to be safe soon, but it seems he was constipated. I found out today my Mom’s sister, my Aunt Elaine in Chicago had a stroke. I think she’s going to be ok, but send her lots of prayers. In life, challenges pop up when you least expect them. No matter what comes, I’m not deviating from my food plan. This is for my heath, period. My weight loss will be an added bonus. 

Next week I will post on my fitness plans, and more of what I’m eating. I’m going forward and not looking back. Onward and upward for me.

Love and Light 

Rose

Smoothie Prep

 

I bought these little containers to prep smoothies the night before. They are just simple containers, but it will be a huge factor in my success going forward. On my work days I need to be set up for success. This is my week one, and I’m beginning strong. I did a mini plant-based haul and I’m ready to rock it. My smoothie consists of spinach, kale, blueberries, banana, chia seeds plus soy milk and a little peanut butter with no salt. 

My 30 day challenge will actually be a few days longer than 30 days. I want my one cheat day to be on my day off. That will be the day I weigh in. In the next 30 or so days I will be posting what I’m eating and how it’s making me feel, including recipes. Day two and any heart burn I had from eating consistent processed food is gone.

I will also be going over my workouts, and what I’m doing this time to get in the best shape of my life. My week one is all about getting back to basics, finding my footing through clean eating nutrition. 

Have a wonderful Wednesday. It’s never too late to dream a new dream or revisit dreams you never were able to accomplish. As long as you are breathing there is time. 

30 Day Challenge

Good Day to all. Today is the first day of my wellness journey 2.0. I’m really starting over this time. I choose now because a lot of the struggles and stresses are quieting down, and I’m open for change. Sometimes you must wait until you are ready to commit to change. This is that moment for me. 

I am vegan for ethical beliefs, and I do believe it’s the healthy way to wellness. With that said, I’ve been kind of a vegan junk food addict.  I am happy all of my fave vegan comfort food exists, but I’m taking on the Whole Foods plant-based lifestyle again. My plan is to eat completely clean for 30 days, no oil with limited salt and sugar. To be honest the sugar will just be in my coffee each morning, that’s it.

I have so many reasons why I’m doing a 30 day wfpb challenge. I feel ill, my stomach aches. I’m bloated. I feel for me vegan convenience food should be rare treats like any convenience comfort food. In 30 days I will have one cheat day after my weigh in and I will do another 30 day wfpb challenge. Stay tuned for what I will be eating with recipes. I’m just starting new on this blog and finding my footing again after a long time of not being consistent. I’m starting my cardio this week with yoga and stretching. Workouts will follow, and daily updates on my blog. 

One of my favorite vegan influences I follow is Tabitha Brown. She said don’t wait until you are sick to make changes in your nutrition. That really resonated with me, so let my 30 day challenge begin. It’s the perfect way to start again on my blog.

This blog will be all about wellness, weight loss, veganism, plant-based life, workouts etc. Charities and giving back won’t be featured here anymore. I’m launching a brand new sister blog for all of that goodness. 

Let my challenge begin. 

Happy Brand New Beginnings 

Love, light, and good health to you

Rose

 

 

 

WEIGH IN UPDATE

Happy Monday to all. I would first like to begin by expressing my sorrow regarding the California fires. I lived in Los Angeles twice and we spent our weekends in beautiful Malibu, and we also lived in San Francisco. I’m just heartbroken for the people and animals and those in the wake of the fire. California is my adopted home and my friends there are my family. 

Update on my progress in the last week. I weighed in today, and for the second week my weight stayed the same. I weigh 182 lbs. in August I was 192 lbs so I’m happy I lost ten pounds. I admit last week I didn’t focus as much as I should on a clean diet, I stayed within my calories but I ate a little more vegan junk food than I should have. I try to only eat vegan convenience food once or twice a week but I gave in and had a veggie burger or two. It’s ok, this week I will do better. I’m planning to focus on routine, fitness and nutrition this week. 

We are moving into the holiday season, and even as a vegan it’s not easy to focus and not gain weight. My goal is to be in the mid 170’s by Christmas. We are having our first vegan Thanksgiving. I’m really excited to be living my most authentic life.

Our food drive for the Houston Food Bank is in full swing, as is the toy drive for Toys for Tots; courtesy of the kind people I get the pleasure to work beside. These are my last two charities for this particular project. After these two charities I plan to continue this blog as a vegan weight loss and fitness blog, but I will no longer be doing charities with each ten pounds. I’m planning a new project to help others,  and I will be posting about that at a later date. My plans to launch this new giving project are in February 2019. My goals are to really focus on changing my health and fitness on this blog, and keep my philanthropic goals separate with my new project.

We have been through a lot the last few years, but I feel the tide is about to change. A lot of good things are happening and we may be in transition again. I’m excited about the future and all new opportunities for both of us.

Life is definitely a road trip of hills and valleys, but it’s the people you meet along the journey that matter. They are with you as you navigate the lows and highs. Drive steady my friends. We all are here for one another to take the wheel when needed. 

So much love and light and prayers for my beloved California and to my California family we are with you in heart and spirit.