Category Archives: Challenges

NON SCALE VICTORIES

Happy Friday. I’m celebrating small nsv’s, that means non-scale victories. It’s week three of my #benderfitness workouts and I’m going strong and getting stronger. I’m working out 5-6 days a week, and I can see improvement in my strength. My push ups are a little bit lower, I’m holding my planks a little bit longer. My lunges are not as scary or as difficult. My flexibility is improving and my joints are no longer aching. A body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest. Newton’s law. I’m doing these workouts for either six weeks or 12 weeks, and later I will switch it up.

To me this is the beginning of success, the little improvements and the commitment to put in the hard work day after day, despite the struggles and disappointments of life. As humans we tend to only view success in the grand accomplishments. Money, cars, awards, followers; material gains and huge accolades are often looked upon as more important than the non material and smaller wins. We tend to congratulate someone without knowing the background of the blood, sweat and tears that got them there. It takes hard work to accomplish dreams and goals, but that hard work in the beginning should never be looked upon as insignificant. When someone who’s never exercised in their life finally walks a block, that’s success to me. It’s getting the guts to get up and go, to jump hurdles and leap over anything that gets in your way; and a lot of time we are tripping over our own two feet. Our insecurities hold us back, our perception of what others think holds us back. Don’t do that.

My life right now has issues, but I’m not letting that hold me back, and I understand that’s life for all of us. There is fear, uncertainty and some sadness; but through it all I’m a survivor who loves life and is grateful for another day. So each day, no matter what’s going on I will commit to my small daily goals because that’s how I’m getting to where I’m going. Small goals one day will become big accomplishments. No one is clapping when I hold my plank 1 minute at 1 am in the morning, but I’m giving my commitment to making it happen a standing ovation. That’s all the accolades I need, the satisfaction of showing up and getting it done despite what comes my way. In one year I will look back at this moment with immense pride because I refused to give up.

Do you believe in coming back after failure? Do you believe in second and third chances to get something right after falling on your face multiples times? I find it really inspiring when someone makes a come back after failure after failure. After all failure is just a word we created, and we don’t have to let that word define us. Every brand new day is a chance to try again, and get it right. Let’s get it right, let’s work hard and show ourselves we can and will do it. Let’s define and rewrite our definition of success. Most important point to remember is to remember to make time for others when you are out in the world trying to make a name for yourself. No one is an island. Kindness and giving should always be a given in the sequence of chasing success. We all are here for one another. Let’s chase success together and rise each other up. Everyone who tries deserves thunderous applause. Show up and give yourself a standing ovation. 

Love and light,
 Rose 

 

 

 

 

Weekly Workout Schedule

Monday/Wednesday/Friday

Tuesday/Thursday

Happy Friday, I made it to day five of week one. I am on it not no matter what comes my way. I got some bad news this week, not health bad news but the kind of bad news that can stop you in your tracks and derail all of your goals. I’m telling you now that’s not happening this time. I’m on the road to being an after, no matter what life throws at me. I will duck and dodge those pesky curveballs. I will follow through with all my commitments and I will do it with a smile.  I’m planning to visit the horse sanctuary soon and do everything I can to give back. I won’t let life’s disappointments get in my way or take my joy.

It all starts with this blog, my health and gratitude to be able to focus on my goals. I’m alive and able. My workout schedule Monday through Friday is two rounds of my scheduled Melissa Bender Workouts plus 30 minutes of cardio, finishing off with the rowing machine. On Saturday and Sunday it’s yoga ( ten sun salutations) and cardio on Saturday. This is my plan going forward and I will not falter. The plan is to switch it up as I get stronger.  I’m just speed walking for my cardio for now but eventually I will add running. Another commitment is to post Monday through Friday and stay on top of all of my goals, including Monday weigh in. I  admit I’m sore but I’m actually so excited about this new journey.

I’m meal prepping and eating healthy vegan food, counting  my WW points and staying away from vegan junk most of the time, especially on my work days. Are you with me? What obstacles get in your way?  Let’s stop letting that happen. Week one is a success and week one sets the bar for week two! We can choose to be happy, healthy and fit. Midnight workouts make me happy.
Love and light, Rose

Midnight workouts. Get it done on your schedule.

 

 

CONSISTENCY

Everyone has a starting point, it’s ok to begin again. Start where you are, no matter how many times you may have faltered in the past. I’m really good at wobbling and losing my focus and getting it back again. So much so that my dear friend Kristen and I call it being a weeble, like that 70’s toy Weebles. Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down. I may wobble, but I refuse to fall down, and even if I do I will stand back up again. You can’t knock me down.

Today is my day three of really going after my goals. I’m really going to work on consistency and commitment. Monday through Friday I will do my #benderfitness scheduled workouts, cardio, and blog every day. I’m going to get my weight in the 160’s ( short term goal) and go volunteer at the Horse Sanctuary. I’m going to work hard at my job because I’m grateful for it, and I’m going to work around it to make my goals a reality.  Like I said in a previous post, control the things you can control when life seems to literally be out of your control. You can control what you eat, how you move your body and your mindset.

I took new before photos and dated them. It’s actually quite liberating to face where you are. I have done just that, faced where I am as I work on where I am going. Where are you going? Make sure you pack a positive outlook, it will take you farther then you ever imagined. Love and light.

Rose

 

 

44 Day Challenge

Did you know it’s 44 days until Halloween arrives? This really begins the Autumn/Holiday season for many. My hubby James and I always have our little tradition. We eat burgers ( now vegan)  and carve pumpkins and drink cider, all watching scary movies. It’s a tradition we honored since our Pittsburgh days. This year we will not let that tradition slide by.

Today I’m starting a 44 day challenge. I’m going to try to show up here daily and share what I’m doing. I’m going to take it Day by day because I may change things up, but my plan is to focus on nutrition, fitness and goals. To show up daily despite my work schedule. I’ve lost 23 lbs but in my opinion I’ve been not working as hard as I can. I watched a video with Tao-Porchon Lynch and she really inspired me. So today begins my challenge. It’s 44 days until Halloween. Let’s do this!! 

No cheat days until Halloween. No pasta. Only whole grain foods in moderation. A little dark chocolate is ok. I’m really going to try to not eat my goodies at our bake sale, just the vegan healthy cookies but in moderation. No refined junk of any kind. I’m going to eat clean vegan. 

Daily Yoga Sun Salutations, and some other workouts. I’m using Melissa Bender Fitness, and my cardio will be walking, running etc. I plan to move 60 minutes a day plus ten sun salutations daily. Legs up a wall before bed. I don’t care if my workout before or after work, if I have time to sit and watch tv I have time to without. 1 hour plus ten sun salutations. Like that Pizza Guy on YouTube says, that’s the rules. Everybody knows the rules, everybody being me. 

The other things I will be adding will be addressed in future posts. What I’m reading, writing, who I’m watching for inspiration. Fun classes I may take, plus tools for self development. Products I use to help me heal and make me feel well again. I’m not sick but my body can be my temple again. Lots of personal goals I’m going to tackle. No procrastination. Today is the day. As I type this we found out an old friend in Pittsburgh PA lost his battle with Lung Cancer. He was only 38. Life is short. Do what you dream of doing today. RIP Chris Pierce. Thank you for your kindness.

RIP Chris

 

FINDING MY MOMENTUM

My favorite robe isn’t a real robe, but I decided to make it one. It sparks joy!!

Good Morning lovely people. It’s September 4th, can you believe it’s almost autumn?  Here in Houston it will stay hot for some time, eventually cooling down in the 70’s and 60’s. That means I can do my cardio outside or at the gym. If you are stressed out there is nothing like moving your body to an upbeat playlist. This is my non-negotiable. I plan to exercise every single damn day, even if it’s after work. I love seeing the big birds when I’m out getting my move on. They really inspire me to take flight. Today is national wildlife day!! 

I stalk birds.

I have three weight goals. My first weight goal is to get in the 160’s by the end of September. That should be easy if I focus on my willpower and fitness. My second weight loss goal is 159 lbs.  That was my weight when we moved to Houston from Los Angeles. I’m currently 174 lbs, down 15 lbs since this time last year. I have to work on my consistency. Stress got in my way, I ate too much Nada Moo( vegan ice cream). I didn’t track, because I chose to overeat. Overeating is a choice, and I’m guilty of it.

Stepping on the scale is a reset for me. I’m back to counting points. I plan to eat more zero point foods, fruits, veggies, beans and tofu. Yesterday I stayed in ww blue point range, that means I stayed within my point balance. My third weight loss goal is around 140 lbs. I also really want to not just focus on the scale, but really focus on my fitness. I need to get strong, flexible and fast. It’s been way too long. I also want to try new activities, like kayaking this beautiful waterway where I live. 

Nature and exercise is the cure to anxiety and stress.

Goals, sometimes I get so mad at myself when I think where I would be now if I didn’t slip up then. I don’t believe in looking too far back, but I need to realize my mistakes now so I don’t make them again. So when a few months goes by I can say I am in a better place then I was in early September. The key is to think about this before every bite I take. Why is it so hard to get back your willpower after a slip up? Have you struggled with this in your weight loss journey? I just have to regain my momentum beginning this week.

Well, it’s coffee time. Love and Light to all and Happy Wednesday. Let’s do this, one meal at a time. 

Spanky, coffee and a Garden of Life Protein Bar.

Lots of water after I wake up, and fruit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOSING WEIGHT IS A PROCESS

Losing weight is a process, in the beginning it’s easy but sticking it out takes extra willpower. Life gets sticky, and it gets in the way. It’s easy to fall of the wagon and stop the healthy patterns you’ve developed in the beginning of your weight loss journey. You will know when this happens, and when you realize it nip it in the bud. 

This week was challenging to say the least. Nothing worth mentioning just adulting and all that comes with it. I didn’t track for days. I almost went for vegan whoppers at Burger King on nights when work was slow and stressful. Waitressing has bad days and bad weeks, it’s normal but when you go into work and stand around it makes you question things. In the end it’s is the way of working in a restaurant, good days and bad days. It always seems like bad days come when you are stressed. Time to reboot and recalculate, like a gps. 

So today I recalculate, I’m trying to check my mood and mindset. I’m back to tracking. I’m planning for Monday and a better and more productive week. Writing my weekly goals on Sunday night. I’m going to try to stress less and be happy in the moments, even the mundane moments that drive me mad. No reason to slip up on my weight loss goals because of a bad week. It’s a marathon and not a sprint, this road to weight loss goals. 

Love and Light

Rose

CHANGING MY HABITS

I’ve been thinking a lot of habits. Everything begins with a habit, and those habits can be positive or negative. I’ve been meaning to begin blogging daily, but I’m yet to actually start the habit of signing in daily. It’s something I really want to commit to, so today is day one. Habits sometimes happen when you adopt other habits which become your routine. Changing for the better is not easy, but the first steps to change is the willingness to do so. 

Habits can make or break our goals. There are healthy habits that become life changing routines, or unhealthy habits that develop when we are busy grinding through the mundane chores of life. Our business of being so busy often gets in the way of developing healthy habits and routines. We reward our hard day with fast food instead of taking the time to grocery shop and meal prep. The drive through is convenient, it’s open late. There is no clean up, or thought that has to go into it. It’s fast, delicious, and takes almost no effort. Changing your habits is especially difficult when you are strapped under financial and time constraints. 

My unhealthy habit is sleeping in late. My schedule and routine has altered in the last year when I began working nights waiting tables. I often do not get home until 11 pm and sometimes later, and I tend to stay up until 3-4 am. If I’m suffering through anxiety induced insomnia I will even fall asleep even later. I need my sleep, that’s a non negotiable, but I also have a laundry list of goals I wish to accomplish to change my life for the better. It all begins with slowly beginning new habits and adopting a routine which can work for my schedule and my goals. It all comes back to habits. 

My husband James explained to be my hours are not that unusual. When a person works 9-5 they pretty much do the same as I do. They get home around 6 pm, have dinner, and they normally unwind for hours doing what they enjoy before bedtime. I get that I’m doing the normal things, but because my shift is different, I do it at an abnormal hour.

I also have friends that tell me to be gentle with myself, and treat myself with grace. These things are true but being too easy on myself won’t get me to where I’m going.  Sometimes putting in the work to accomplish goals takes great sacrifice. I’m a work in progress but I’m trying to figure it all out. Habits, it all comes back to my habits. I want to be a habitual go getter, so going forward my routines are going to be changing, and that’s all the better for me.

 

Here are some of my goals that cannot happen if I do not change.

Blog daily, track food, lose weight, incorporate fitness through cardio, flexibility and yoga and strength training, help charities, study for American Council of Exercise group exercise certification exam, take exam in the fall, write more, submit writing to be published, work on marketing for books, blogs and do social media. Not to mention personal goals like financial, family, travel etc. This list can get out of control but I’m putting it out there. Tomorrow is Monday, and I love a new beginning. I’m beginning my Monday with weigh in, blog post, workout and study.

Ok, now I’m tired but I feel good. Time for a delicious cup of coffee to begin fueling my day.

What are your goals? Do you have a routine? Is it a morning routine? I would love to hear how you get it done. With much love and Light. Let’s be goal getters together.

Namaste’

Rose  

GOALS

Happy Friday to all. As I start anew I’m starting to set goals again. Im fighting some fatigue this second time around, I work late and usually I don’t get to bed late. I may do a lot of my workouts at 11 or 12 midnight since I’m so wired after work. My fatigue only hits me in the morning when I wake up, so prepping meals and giving myself time to wake up and have a morning routine before work is easier for me and my schedule. 

I am so blessed to have Bethany as my trainer, and to have Melissa Bender Fitness videos and guidance. I may join WW online to help me with my food monitoring. It’s a great program and it takes the fear away of food being good vs bad, it’s all food. As a vegan I’m trying to make sure I get everything I need, but WW will help with little splurges within reason. It helps keep me from binges. I’m signing up Monday. Today I weighed in at 183 lbs. 

My trainer Bethany and Melissa Bender Fitness are the experts,  but as a former dancer and this being my second go at fitness, I do have a lot of knowledge about proper form and the body. I’m beginning my studying for the American Council of Exercise group exercise certification, and I hope to take the exam in the fall. After being in the Richard Simmons Video, and taking two classes with him weekly I was so inspired. I thought, this is what I love, I can do this to. So my plan is to pass the exam and teach upbeat, inspirational dance aerobics classes like he did. I’m a dancer and this is in my heart and soul, it’s the one thing missing from my life. Once a dancer, always a dancer. I will leave the heavy exercise to the professionals, and do that only as a student and not a teacher. My plan is to learn to teach all the areas I excel in, stretching, dance, etc. I’m really excited about this new chapter and I have quite a lot of work to do to get there. 

I have chosen a new charity to get involved with once I lose ten pounds. I’m going to first lose 3 more pounds since I went up 3 lbs since Easter. So when I reach 170 lbs I will be volunteering alongside my trainer Bethany at a local non-profit near and dear to my heart. I will announce this Monday, the day I join WW online and do another weigh in. We also plan to register for a 5k locally and take a yoga class. I’m dying to study ballroom but unfortunately that’s not on my budget at the moment. More goals to come but I think this is a good head start.

It’s Mothers Day weekend and I wish everyone who is a Mother a Happy Mothers Day. That includes all the wonderful women who take care and love their companion animals. It’s your Mothers Day too. Happy Unconditional Love Day. Mothers Day and May 21st are not easy days for me, since I lost my Mom May 21st 2017. I send love and hugs to my sisters who feel exactly like I do, and all of you who also lost a beloved Mother. My Mother would expect me to keep going and never give up on my goals. She would always say to keep trying, all they can say is no. 

Love and Light 

Rose

 

NEVER GIVE UP

It’s been thunder-storming for days here in Houston, and today is no exception. I have battled the idea of staying with this blog or starting a new blog for my new weight loss journey. After thoughtful consideration and lots of feedback, I have decided to stay here and bloom where my blog was planted. This means I plan on being much more transparent about the ups and downs this time around.

This second phase is not easy, and I will not sugar coat it. I have obstacles that I did not have in 2013. Things to overcome and hurdles to jump. I’m not being a defeatist, I will find a way. I’m just saying this time is definitely more of a challenge. 

As I begin again, there are many things I’ve procrastinated about, things I’ve put off that need attention. Yesterday was the dentist, and I found out I need my wisdom teeth out and a deep cleaning. My insurance doesn’t cover it all, so I need to really focus on saving to get it done. It will be easier for me to lose weight when I don’t just brush my problems under the rug. I’m still waitressing, so my night hours are a challenge, but I will find a way to overcome what holds me back this time around, even if it takes time. My husband and I are really planning change after a rough two years.

Change takes positivity, time, patience and perseverance. Change doesn’t happen when you procrastinate. I’m learning a lot about myself since we moved to Houston from LA. I went from being a go getter to a procrastinator. It hasn’t been all bad, I still submit my writing and I’ve been published quite a few times since we arrived here, and for that I’m so proud. I’m speaking of my fitness and weight loss. Yo Yo dieting is a form of procrastination. I own that. 

Today I took a me day, I woke up with an uneasy feeling and woke up to a dreaded bad news text. Now I’m waiting and praying it’s not that serious. A family member is in the hospital and it’s exactly two years ago my Mom was in the hospital before we lost her. Being far from family during these moments is emotionally draining. Sitting by the phone and waiting. I hope you join in with me and send healing thoughts, energy and prayers to my loved one. 

Life, it’s a series of ups and downs. I’ve kind of been in the crossroads lately, as the ups and downs of my life swings back and forth like a pendulum. I’m positive my loved one will recover and the pendulum with swing in the direction of positivity and new beginnings. Join me as I embrace my new reality and the second phase of my health journey. I believe I can do it again, so with hard work I will achieve. I’m humbled and human, but like the Phoenix I will rise even if I still stumble from time to time. I will always get back up and try again.

Life ain’t gonna live itself. I’m a lover of life no matter what comes my way. 

Love and Light to all 

Rose 

 

WEIGHT LOSS STRUGGLES

Eating disorders are usually seen as someone who is anorexic and extremely thin, or someone who obviously struggles with bulimia. As a young adult I suffered from eating disorders, I was very thin and dr’s said I was on the verge of anorexia. As time went on my weight stabilized, and it seemed like I was free of my past struggles. I won’t get into much detail of my eating disorder past, this post is about today. 

I have been overweight a few times in my life, the last time before now was in 2013 when I started this blog. Once I got my weight under control it seemed like my obsessive guilty thoughts about food went away, until I gained half my weight back in 2017. When someone looks at someone like me, they never connect I can have an eating disorder. I’ve weighed much more and I’ve weighed much less, but no matter how much I weigh; my eating disorder past comes back when I’m vulnerable and weak, or when life throws me curveballs.

I haven’t been consistent on this blog because I go silent when I struggle.  I’m embarrassed that I’m failing and lost all I worked so hard for. I get motivated and then struggles occur, and again I go silent. I have trouble admitting it’s so hard for me this time around. I’ve been down, then I see people going through much more than me and then I feel ashamed. It’s a vicious circle and I’m desperately looking to get on a more positive path. I want to keep trying until I get it right, I think from now on I’m going to share my ups and downs, my in between and the good and the bad; my middle of my journey. Since January I lost 10 lbs, my current weight is 180. The scale won’t continue to drop until I get myself and my diet and exercise on point consistently. I’m in the gray area, a little stuck and trying to push myself back to living in a Technicolor world.

Food is such a struggle for me. Most people love a good meal, and so do I. The difference is my thoughts about food. I eat healthy most of the time, I probably don’t eat enough. I’m vegan and I eat Whole Foods and plant-based. Once in a while I make a home cooked vegan meal, like spaghetti or a holiday meal. I always overeat spaghetti even if it’s a healthy type of pasta. My husband remarks how good he feels after such a meal, I only feel guilt and disgust. This started again Easter weekend. Special meals make me feel like a failure, so I don’t post here because no one wants to read about someone on a weight loss journey who is faltering. When I eat clean I feel in control, when I eat for pleasure I feel sick after. Not all foods make me feel like this, but spaghetti and holiday meals always leave me on the opposite side of balanced. Afterwards I have trouble getting back on track.

Life has not been smooth here in Texas for the last two years, I won’t get into why but I will say things are really improving. I’m on the verge of really starting over, I just need to get over small hurdles that keep coming my way. My confidence is shot and I need to work on getting it back. I need to work on my food issues, and realized sometimes I can be an emotional eater. I need to get more consistent with all of my workouts because it’s the key to balance. I know what I need to do, I just need to start and not keep stopping. 

Here is a picture of one of my inspirations in life. A beautiful couple I knew from the gym in West Hollywood, CA. She’s a holocaust survivor who’s lived on every continent but one. Every time they saw me they remarked I should be on tv. I always remarked back I needed to lose weight. She always told me embrace your health, when one gets sick they get skinny. Be happy you are healthy. I’m going to really try to work on my health, wellness and fitness. I won’t go silent when I’m struggling. I will try to post the good, the bad and the ugly. I love life-like my friend did, and I’m going to live it as she did and forgive my shortcomings. Love and light to all. 

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

The Shawshank Redemption