Daily Archives: September 16, 2019


Cheat days, how does your mind and body react to having a weekly cheat day? My hubby James thinks I’m weird about food. After a delicious meal most people will say they feel satiated and satisfied. I just feel disgust and guilt, especially if I happened to overeat. It happens now and then, and it just doesn’t make me feel good. I decided to go at it alone without the WW app to save money, and I don’t think that was a good idea. In the next week or so I’m reinstating my account. It keeps me sane by tracking. I’ve come this far, I’m down 23 lbs since one year ago and 13 since using the ww app. It’s a tool I think I need, for my sanities sake.

I don’t think I will ever be normal when it comes to food but I will say this, going vegan is the best thing I’ve ever done. Even with the haunting of past eating disorders at least I know I’m eating with compassion and kindness. The rest I will figure out as I continue on this journey of mine. One thing I do know, vegan cheesecake is ok, pasta is not. It’s a diet and eating disorder fiasco. No more pasta for me. Pasta is my trigger food, so I plan to avoid it for the time being. But the cheesecake is worth the calories, counted in portion control of course. Do you have foods that detail your willpower?

Love and Light to all. Rose 

Starting weight 193

Current Weight 170

mini goal 160’s

First goal 159

Goal Weight 135-140


I couldn’t sleep last night, my mind could not shut off. I was thinking of all the things I need to do, and want to do. The things that worry me and the things that are out of my control.  As I tried unsuccessfully to sleep my good friend Brandy’s son Silas took his last breath. I woke up and my weight is holding steady at 170, but none of that matters today.

I first met Brandy when I was working in a restaurant in Palo Alto, and she was visiting so Silas her son could get treatment at Stanford University. We quickly hit it off, and I was honored to meet Silas as well. Their story of love inspired me through my many moves. Brandy-continued to really live life as she cared unselfishly for her terminally ill son. She was out doing fun runs with friends, seeing concerts, volunteering, and being the driving force for the wellness of her son. She was an optimist and an advocate. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for the care of her son. I admire her deeply and this blog post is dedicated to her. 

People have told me I’m strong and inspiring, and I’ve been through a few challenges in the last two years; but nothing like Brandy. I can fall apart at the thought of my cat being possibly ill. It was those thoughts, pet insurance etc that kept me from my beauty sleep last night. I woke to the news that Silas had passed away. All of a sudden losing a nights sleep to anxiety didn’t matter. My heart goes out to Brandy, my prayers for her and her son Jake as they navigate their new normal without Silas. They say when someone passes they earn their wings, I hope Silas is playing with the angels with abandon. In my heart Brandy has earned her wings too. There are angels who walk among us, and my friend Brandy is definitely one of them. So much love Brandy.