This blog is about weight loss/fitness/philanthropy but it is also about living your best life. For me that always starts with my connection to mind and body, spirit and soul. Sometimes we hear news that makes us question the reason for it all. Last night I heard that my dear friend Cisco lost someone close to him, and my meditations and prayers are with him and her family today as they all go forward on his Friday. Loss brings on another layer of life, it shakes us up at the core of our humanity and it is something none of us can run or hide from. It shifts the ordinary day and all of a sudden we find that we are in a place of mourning and question asking. I do not think we will ever have all of the answers to the bevy of questions about life and death, and why someone so young who has so much to give has been taken from us.
I woke up a bit earlier than usual today,drinking my melancholy cup of coffee; thinking about life, my friends and family, my goals and dreams for my today and tomorrows. The news of loss always makes me do a self check. Have I told my friends and family what they really mean to me? Does everyone know how much I love them and how special and truly unique they are? Do they all know what extraordinary gifts they have to give to the universe? Do I try to live each and every day like it is such an amazing privilege to be breathing? I would like to say yes to all of those things, but I am human and that means I am flawed. I will say this, I do try to communicate my feelings to those I love and I do try to live each and every day like it is an utter blessing to be alive. I try to always be of service to others, but I have only begun to scratch the surface. I always assume I will have more time. Time, we are on a limited time budget. Time to make the most of all of my time.
My friend Ally and I had a conversation a few days ago, about being open of heart and telling friends how much we love them. She questioned if that was ok to do, and she asked if some people might find it to be too much to show such sentiments openly. My answer was if they do not like it, then too bad. Always be authentic and true to yourself, and quite frankly life is damn short!! So my advice to myself, to her and to you is to tell people today how you feel, because tomorrow is never promised, just ask Cisco. Do not wait to spend that time budget, blow the bank today. Oh, and if have not heard it yet, love and light to you.
When I lived in Connecticut I had a manager where I worked, he told me I was a butterfly and I needed to slow down and stay put. It is obvious that I have not headed that advice because since then I have done anything but slow down. I have lived in so many interesting places, never slowing down. NYC, LA, now the San Francisco Bay Area. These places have shaped me, my writing, and my whole world. Of course it is my partner in life and husband James who has made all of this possible, that never goes unnoticed.
I have been so overwhelmed with a lot of things in my life, good things but even so a bit overwhelmed. I have slacked off on my daily posts on this blog and that is going to change right this minute. My book Camellia in Snow is in the process of being completed thanks to FinnLady Press back east, and there are details that have been a little all consuming. Now I am going to make the time for both my loves, my blog and my book. They are not one in the same but in a way they are, they are the essence of my being. Without this blog and my weight loss my confidence would have never returned. I had the chance to have my poetry book published back in 2010 and I passed because of my move to Los Angeles. I had a second chance in 2013 and I passed again when I saw my photo from the open mic. I just had lost all confidence and I needed to find myself again.
Here I find myself, in 2015 and 50 lbs lighter with a lot of help from my friends and mentors in life. My friends are my teachers and I am eternally grateful. I am a former dancer who hated running, and now I absolutely love it. I am a fitness buff and ambassador to Melissa Bender Fitness and clean eater. I love my blog which combines weight loss/fitness with philanthropy and I am looking into ways to make it grow and do a lot more good in the communities I live in, now and moving forward. I am planning all kinds of fitness milestones like surfing and running the Golden Gate Bridge, this time four or five times. All of this with my first poetry book coming out in a few months, along with book events to do locally and in LA and back in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. I still also play waitress in the evenings. Yes, I have been busy but I would not have it any other way. My motto is you can do anything at any age as long as you believe. All you need is a strong desire and belief in yourself, and maybe a little morning coffee. You deserve everything you dream of and more. Namaste’ Love and Light to all.
That moment when you begin to feel like yourself after being sick for a few weeks is priceless. All of a sudden it is like the clouds cracked open and revealed the sunshiny sky. I was so sick, and it took me a good two weeks to feel like me again. I am prone to upper respiratory infections but I have not had one since 2010. I was worried for some time about a lump in my neck, and I was freaking out about the possibility of the worst case scenario. I am happy to report now that I am no longer sick the lump has disappeared. That makes you realize how lucky you are to have your health. The whole time I lived in LA I was healthy and not sick once. It is a bit cooler in Northern California and the cool weather got me this time. I refuse to take my health or life for granted and from this moment on I am living my best life ever, chasing my goals and my happiness.
In the interim of being sick I took the downtime to finish some details of my poetry book that will be out come August. I had a photo shoot for my book jacket cover, not good timing since I was pale and not feeling or looking my best but I had to have it done and I believe I got my shot. Now it is back to blogging, my fitness and charitable goals ( I will mention those in upcoming posts) and of course my running schedule and Melissa Bender Fitness Training. I weighed myself and I am still holding steady at 165. I am debating whether or not to go to Weight Watchers to help me get the next ten to twenty pounds off.
Today besides getting a run in, I am running some needed errands. I am also breaking down this week and getting new running shoes which are long overdue. I will blog about the process of finding the right fit for my feet and my running style. I am also purchasing a new phone which means I will finally have an instragram. Time to break the bank and get the tools that are needed to move forward.
Off for now, lots of exciting things to come but daily goals help reach long-term goals. I am happy to be breathing and have this moment to say I am totally and utterly alive. Never give up. As long as you are awake anything is possible. Go get it!!!