STARTING OVER

“The splendid thing
about falling apart
silently…
is that
you can start over
as many times
as you like.”
Sanober Khan

It’s been over two years since I have embarked on my quest to make a better life through weight loss, fitness and philanthropy. I lost a significant amount of weight during that time, but I gained so much more by being healthy, challenging my body and mind, and giving back to others and meeting new and wonderful friends. What happens when you take the E out of Ego? You are left with the word go. Go for it, go after your dreams, go help others. A body in motion stays in motion, and a body at rest stays at rest. This is newtons law, or to me the definition of Go.
This post is not about the benefits of my weight loss journey, but about the last six months of my life. It doesn’t take long for a unexpectant twist to turn your life upside down. I held it together when we had to leave my beloved city of angels for the city by the bay in October 2014, but a personal earthquake shook the foundation that built my blog and goals last July. San Francisco is an amazing place to be, and I am grateful. It is also a difficult place to go through a crisis, as it it can be cold and unforgiving.

Stress from a crisis can create havoc and chaos in your life, and can make following your routine and goals a challenge. Before you know it your strength starts to dwindle and you feel like you have no joy. For me my crisis turned into a cheat day that lasted two months. That led to not feeling well enough to workout. This led to feeling ill and slow. In just two months I felt like all of my hard work was in vain. I was left with depression about the crisis, and my body had followed my mood. With two weeks until the new year my husband suggested I let go of any food related guilt, enjoy the holidays and start fresh once the clock turned midnight at the brink of 2016. He knows me, he also knows you cannot keep me down for long. To be kind to myself and begin anew when the next year begins. I can personally say this from experience, if your crisis has not left you a bit depressed, undoing all of your hard work and gaining weight will result in depression. My advice if you are in a crisis, just don’t let it stop you. Not even for a weekend. Have a cheat meal, but please make it only one. How I feel now is going to make my 2016 goals all the more challenging, because now I have to correct the mistakes I made in the last few months and begin anew. I backtracked.

 

 

“Sometimes life takes unexpected turns. Sometimes we hide the very core of our existence because we fear the judgment of others. Sometimes the universe shifts and we are provided with a brief moment to begin anew. These moments allow us to become fearless and let our perfectly created souls shine.”
Cori Garrison, New Beginnings

So here I am, and I decided to write about what happens when you leave your healthy lifestyle to the wayside, and succumb to stress and the modern American way of living. I’m considering using these last two months as an experiment if you will. Sometimes you have to veer off course for a while to find where you ultimately belong.

 

 

I have never been an over eater, but eating processed and unrefined foods for more than a few days is all it takes for my body to regress. My body and mind feel much better when I’m eating clean whole natural foods. I have noticed some side effects from my sabbatical from my healthy lifestyle. Here are the five things that occurred after my two months off.
1. My heart races when I eat processed carbohydrates. My energy is lacking and I seem to crave more sleep.
2. My confidence starter to take a nose dive. I felt bloated and I could feel the ten pounds I put on. My clothes were slightly tighter and bra was a little tighter.
3. My joints started to ache more. Could it be because of the processed carbs and excess gluten I was consuming? I have headaches and stomach aches more frequently.
4. After just ten pounds I felt like I was a little winded quicker when I exercise.
5.my skin started to look a little duller and I looked paler than usual and my hair is a bit drier.  This was probably due to the lack of protein In my carb laden diet. I also think my new bad habit of reaching for diet soda has me consuming a lot less water than usual, so I am probably dehydrated.
To sum up, I could never eat like this forever and I’m really looking forward to the New Year and getting back on track, I actually plan on getting a head start for the new year and having my Christmas Dinner be my last splurge.  I miss my healthy meals,  my kale drinks, my ten portions of fruits and vegetables with lean protein and minimal grains. I miss the way I feel when I treat my body as a temple and not as a garbage can. I’m actually grateful for these last two months because it opened my eyes to how I do not wish to live my life and why I work so hard to be the best me ever. Yes it feels good to look good and value your appearance but at the end of the day it just feels great to be healthy and feel ageless. I always say to people, and now I am saying it to myself. It is just food, and those treats will be there tomorrow. Food can be healing, or it can make you feel sick. At the end of the day how do you wish to live your life? Feeling vibrant and alive or slow and stuck. I choose to be alive, and fuel my body with the food that is healing and nourishing to my body.
I am not a failure, I am a work in progress. I slipped and I fell, but I stand again and again until I get it right. It has been raining here for days, and the clouds finally parted and the sun came out to play. I think I may head out and join the sun on a run. Nothing like fresh air and moving your body to remind yourself you still walk among the living
.
Get busy living, or get busy dying
The Shawshank Redemptionoldman
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